Galaxy’s Most Eligible Bachelor Marries. After remaining single for 37 standard years, Luke Skywalker chooses to take the plunge into marital bliss, long enjoyed by his twin sister, with the most popular non-movie character in the universe, Mara Jade. A woman who, initially, wanted to kill Skywalker and blamed him for ruining her life. Ah, the splendor, the excitement, the glory of the New Republic.

Too bad the book is a piece of total cr@p.

Oh dear, where to begin.

Ok, how about this. Who the heck are all these people and why do they all look alike? Now I’ll admit, I have not kept up with the Star Wars Universe. I learned a lot about the exploits of our friends, the secondary characters. Many of them married, had kids, so on and so forth. It’s very lovely, but in this book they all look the same. The reason for this? There’s no inker. When I first picked up the book I flipped through it thinking, "boy, this looks funny." Then I went to the credits to see if knew anybody who worked on it. I do sometimes, you know. Know somebody or know of some body. In this particular instance everyone below Randy Stradley was a mystery. I know who Michael Stackpole is, but I’ve never read any of his work (more on that later.) but as I’m scanning the credits it registers. Writer, penciller, letterer, no inker.

So, why is this a big deal? Let me explain the production of a comic book from the intimate point of view of a former DC and Image inker’s wife. (Current wife, former inker.) First, the writer writes out the issue in bizarre scripting format only in use in comics. He’s pretty necessary, through experiments on doing without were conducted at Marvel. They failed. Upon editor approval the script goes to a penciller. Said penciller sets up panels, chooses angles, and draws in the necessary figures and backgrounds. From there the art goes to the inker. Why? I’ll explain. The inker’s job is to go over whatever the penciller has drawn in ink, fixing anatomy and perspective and adding depth and dimension to the art. This really is an art all it’s own. And you can tell when the inker is missing. Case in point: Star Wars: Union.

And let me just say here that if you are going to experiment with skipping the inker, let’s find a creative penciller, huh? You may have noticed, I’m a woman. The first thing I wanted to see was the dresses. Apparently, in a galaxy far, far away, they sell Modern Bride Magazine because the brides’ maids gowns were pictured in last springs’ issue. The less said about the wedding gown, the better. (But it was in Modern Bride also. Could they have maybe sprung for a second bridal magazine?)

Ok, so the art is not very good. We can live with this right? I mean, most of the art in the Sandman books was pretty awful (through Jill Thompson in an incredible artist when she has a good inker.) So we’ve learned that ugly comic books are still readable when the story is good.

A shame that. The story is as ugly as the art. From what I have been told Michael Stackpole is brilliant at military hard science fiction. So whose bright idea was it to have him writing Luke Skywalker’s wedding? There is a trite scene about Mara’s dress and the horrible designs she’s presented with. There’s another trite scene where the "girls" all go out to the spa for a day to relax and freshen up before the big event. They also play some sporting event for the simple purpose of showing a bunch of women in skin tight costumes. It does double duty as a trite joke as the women kick butt on the court. Ha ha, isn’t that funny. Hmmm. Plus we have the boys night out where the boys go to a bar and end up in a fight. Are we honestly supposed to believe that humans in a galaxy far, far away have exactly the same stupid marriage rituals that 20th century Americans have?

Then there’s the wedding itself. Mara wears white. In how many cultures on Earth does the bride wear white? Leia was given a more creative wedding ensemble for her wedding and that was in a book without benefit of an artist.

Sigh. Wrong writer, mediocre artist, no inker. I think the letterer did a nice job. The coloring was pretty obviously computer crapped out. Oh and the tacked on Imperial plot was pretty awful too. Do your self a favor, avoid this book. If you want a story about Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade getting married, email me and I’ll think about writing one up. Trust me, it will be better. (I might even be able to get a really good artist to illustrate it.)

PS. In case you're completely confused by my title, Ryder used to be the editor for Dark Horse's Star Wars line. Now he's writing Star Wars books for Scholastic. He's also the only human being I've ever met who actually had a lantern jaw.


Recommended: No