Freedom to understand your body & what it really takes to get pregnant (or not!)
Written: Feb 14 '03 (Updated Jul 15 '04)
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Pros: It's all the "intelligence" you should have had about your body since you first menstruated!
Cons: It's lengthy and can be complicated: stay focused!
The Bottom Line: Most excellent way to learn about your own ability to conceive, or prevent conception, through NATURAL indicators that have been there all along. Honor yourself by taking on the task.
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| lisandrea's Full Review: Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Gu... |
We all took the seventh grade sexuality classes that had us holed up in dark rooms with old film projection movies where we squirmed at words we wouldn't dare speak aloud. Girls learned how to control or maintain monthly menstruation, what it meant to have unprotected sex, and some other *basics* about our bodies, but where so much "shame" and embarrassment prevented us from really knowing the truth about our bodies, we walked around clueless. Do all women's "privates" look like mine? What's normal? Why am I spotting this *stuff* some days in each month? How gross is that!?
And, most importantly, as we wait longer & longer to have babies now we find ourselves asking, WHY CAN'T I GET PREGNANT WHEN I WANT TO? (While 18 year olds who don't want to be pregnant seem capable of rabbit-like fertility!) It's sad & unfair, isn't it?
Infertility is a creeping problem in the thirty-somethings, and those of us who've struggled with it are starving for answers! Doctors are under-informing us, as they perpetuate myths of 14th day ovulation and the necessity of the pill, or other drugs to prevent or to encourage pregnancy. When it comes down to it, though, it's all naturally designed by a grand Creator! Your body KNOWS what it needs to do to make babies, or to NOT make babies...
So, if you want to know HOW to get pregnant when you want to, you'll always be chasing a moving target, UNLESS you read this book, or others on natural family planning (NFP). DO NOT misinterpret this as the old Catholic "Rhythm Method." It is far more informed, educated and scientific. Be prepared, if you're serious about wanting a baby, to make this your newest schooling, and to have a bit of homework everyday until you see double pink lines on the "EPT."
Here's the basic breakdown: a woman's body goes through certain predictable cycles of hormones regularly. HOWEVER, your predictability is unique to YOU, so no pat answer from the medical community (i.e. 14 days = ovulation) has worked for you in the past: that's why you're not getting pregnant when you want to, and why others get pregnant "by mistake." Because so few of us really understand the natural indications of our own physicality.
There are certain vaginal secretions which we've dealt with since we were 12 or 14 years old as a nuisance (& even alarming), but which we never knew how to "read." NOW you can feel liberated by reading this book, that each and every "thing" coming from your body is purposeful & is your own body communicating with you. Learn to TRUST it and you will understand your own individual cycle like you never did before.
I am writing this to you in my 7th month of pregnancy after 3 previous miscarriages, so I understand what it means to struggle with infertility. Once I read this book I can tell you sincerely that I KNEW the very night we conceived. I knew I was fertile, I knew we'd used an optimal day, I knew as I watched myself approach the "pending" period that never came. I knew long before that home pregnancy test could have confirmed that we were, indeed, pregnant! That helped me be smart about my food choices, exercise, sleep, and be ready right away when my period didn't come, to get into the doctor and start immediate prenatal care. Now? I'm 9 weeks from holding my first child at age 32. Being INFORMED made me a better mom-to-be because I was not ignorant of the growth taking place inside of me. And, since we already have a heartbeat by day 21, before a drugstore test can even tell you you're pregnant, that early care is critical for a successful gestation & healthy baby.
Believe me?
Here's the "homework" you'll learn through this (thick) manual or through other books on NFP. (1) Daily recording (charting) of your "Basal Body Temperature" (which is your temp as you rise in the morning) reveals slight changes within that "normal temp" range that indicate ovulation. Also, (2) note your bodily discharges (a lovely word I hate to write), and you will be able to CLEARLY know when you are fertile and when optimum baby-making dates are. It's amazing how obvious it will become to you! Put the two elements together (temp & bodily indicators) on detailed charts (provided) and you will be able to watch a graph tell you precisely when you are and are not fertile.
The author includes vivid color photographs and illustrations of everything she describes so that you can feel confident that you are learning as she is teaching you. There is a tremendously helpful full color section in the center, and coupled with the testimonials of people who tried this method and were successful, this book was nothing shy of an epiphany for me.
These techniques work for pregnancy prevention, too, because you can ONLY get pregnant on certain days (remember sperm live a few days, so this helps you take into account all the possible days of fertility), so you can safely have sex on the infertile days without worrying about pregnancy if you're trying to plan for the future, and NOT have to be dependent on an annoying intervention (the pill, patch, spermicide, condoms, etc), which could even be causing ill effects to your health (the pill has KNOWN side effects we should all research wisely).
The fact is, we are a society of blind believers when it comes to our own health and healing in medicine. We take the pill because we're told it's GREAT! But, faithfully listening to your Obstetrician or Gynocologist without doing your own homework is irresponsible. No one is accountable for your own health but YOU (& in the case of pregnancy, your partner), so STEP UP!
This is a THICK book and at times becomes redundant, but is SO smart for improving your own wisdom about your body. I feel more a woman, more free and proud of my body, than I ever did before, because I know that there is nothing shameful or embarrassing about what's going on "down there" from month to month. It's certainly made pregnancy more enjoyable, too. In fact, once you GET pregnant, take this holistic concept one step further and get yourself into a "Bradley" birthing class, where you will learn even MORE about your body's natural responses to hormonal changes and the miracles that have always been in place in your body as they change during pregnancy.
AMENDMENT: I have since taken classes in a parallel method called NFP, or Natural Family Planning, led by a Catholic organization. In comparison, TCOYF is much easier to read, follow and practice than the very complex variety of rules in NFP. Even with slide presentations and one-on-one guidance (very patient, I might add), I felt that I was in the most stressful of trigonometry classes, having only passed Algebra I. Add .4 degrees here, subtract four days, draw this line...really, it doesn't seem to me that it is all meant to be that complex! Read Toni's book if you're struggling with NFP instruction and a lot should become much more clear to you. The photographs in this book are far more informative than the more conservative drawings in the NFP text which don't really show you the differences between similar types of mucus.
In addition, I prefer this technique's choices for marking your charts--the codes you use are more intuitive and clear to read back to yourself later. There are fewer uncertainties. I felt confident about pregnancy avoidance after reading TCOYF, then found myself nervously resorting to condoms again throughout NFP. My husband agrees with me that TCOYF does a better job of walking you through the signs.
Both are "sympothermal" methods--symptoms evaluated with temperature.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID: lisandrea
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Location: Virginia
Reviews written: 45
Trusted by: 4 members
About Me: AP, NFP, WAHM/SAHM but NO SPAM (thank you, Ma'am)! :O)
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