NOTE—Dr. Freudine is my alter ego/fictional psychiatrist and helps me to review books and movies mostly. Last time she discovered her boyfriend’s letter explaining his disappearance. Please check my profile for all her reviews/essays.
********************

The next morning, after a restless night in my own lonely bed, I decide to check in with my office, even though I have no appointments and even if I did, I’m not sure I would be of much good in them. What kind of psychiatrist am I if I don’t know how to be one anymore? Maybe I’ll just read more of my D.H. Lawrence...

It hasn’t been more than five minutes in reality, though it seems much longer, when a soft knock on the door startles me. As it opens slightly, the head of that cute, married guy pops in. “Dr. Freudine, are you busy?” I stutter in response and he goes on. “I won’t take up too much of your time, but I’d really like your advice about someone who I think has gone off the deep end.”

Heaven help me, his worried lines are even disarming! I nod silently, wondering if he could possibly, hopefully, be referring to Miss C or Dr. Defiance, and then stare in astonishment as he pushes the door open to reveal that no-gooder Jan. She winks at me with a finger to her lips and follows him to the plush couch.

“You see, Doc, my friend Jan is a vegan like me and yet she’s reading through the Tarzan series by Edgar Rice Burroughs. I’m concerned about her sanity because she enjoys reading about a primitive man of the African jungle who eats raw flesh all the time. She keeps saying she likes being a vegan, but...I find it hard to believe her. Should I? I mean, do you think she could really enjoy the, well, chauvinistic, pulp fiction? Most women, like my wife, hate action/adventure novels. You also like D.H. Lawrence, I see.”

He comes up for breath and I sit back in my chair, a confused jumble of emotions and unable to think of what to say. He looks and sounds so sincere, yet it’s like a rehearsed script and just possible that this is all Jan’s idea of a joke. I know how to find out. “I don’t know much about the Tarzan series, Brian. Maybe Jan could explain for both of us why she likes it.”

“I’d be glad to,” she replies with a casual grin. “It’s not just about a man raised by apes who eats raw meat. The apes would rather eat grubs, anyhow. It’s more than a stupid, white man trying to teach defense to the apes and learning that he’s more intelligent and witty than them and the black natives. It’s more than a chauvinistic action/adventure series beginning in 1914, but a love story that shows the woman’s courage and skill in the jungle, too, and his humility and respect. I’ll bet you didn’t know that. Yes, at first she was more helpless and gets into trouble, but by the ninth novel, Tarzan And The Golden Lion, she’s been his wife for probably over a dozen years and sets out with their black warriors to find him in the jungle.”

“That sounds positive,” I agree. “Does she find him?”

“These books comment on male-female relationships, in humans and animals in the process of evolution, and how they need each other because they’re part of us. Jane tries to find him, so at least she isn’t passive, but Tarzan remains the clever, god-like hero. His reputation suffers because of an imposter “aping” him, hehe, but he faces all of his challenges from nature, beasts and man. World events inspire Burroughs, too, and the Greystoke (Tarzan) home is destroyed by Nazis at the start of WWI, making the earlier seventh book about his revenge. I love how in the eighth he tames a prehistoric beast and befriends real primitive white men with or without a tail or fur and pretends to be a son of god while an anonymous person is on his trail...”

Suddenly Brian loses his balance and winces with an “ow!” Then he artfully laughs and eyes me while gesturing to Jan. “It’s sounding pretty far-fetched and chauvinistic so far,” he comments. “Don’t you think so, Doc?”

I do my best to look professional and gaze at him. “Well, I guess so, but let’s listen some more.”

“Now bear in mind that Tarzan is a strong man who can be cruel if he’s been treated badly, but I really loved coming to understand that he was a gentleman, an English lord in his blood. I want to read you a favorite passage from the seventh book, followed by a more rambling one from the tenth, Tarzan And The Golden Lion (she pulls out a notebook from her oversized bag.)


“Old woman,” muttered the ape-man. “Tarzan has become a weak old woman. Presently he would shed tears because he has killed Bara, the deer. He cannot see Numa, his enemy, go hungry, because Tarzan’s heart is turning to water by contact with the soft, weak creatures of civilization.” But yet he smiled; nor was he sorry that he had given way to the dictates of a kindly impulse. Pp 150 of Tarzan The Untamed (254 total pages)

A growl of approval arose from the beast-like audience, while the great lion bared his hideous fangs and roared until the palace trembled, his wicked, yellow-green eyes fixed terribly upon the woman before him, evidencing the fact that these ceremonies were of sufficient frequency to have accustomed the lion to what he might expect as the logical termination of them. Pp 200 Tarzan And The Golden Lion (332 total pages)


I nod, enjoying this discussion. “There’s good and bad writing, character development and…cheap thrills, a good-hearted hero and nasty villains. You’ve also got a love story that endures many crises to show their great love and the women he meets are all beautiful and in love with Tarzan...”

“How did you know that? He spurns them all, too, which makes him charmingly faithful,” Jan adds, raising her big, dark eyebrows, and I shrug.

“Just a guess. So you’ve read the Tarzan books for fun, right? Does the series end with Tarzan’s woman being rescued by him and his golden lion? I’m sure the lion is magnificent like Tarzan and his loving pet?”

“Another good guess. And yes and no, Doc. There are 24 books in all and the next one, Tarzan and the Ant Men, is the most bizarre one yet. They pretty much follow each other like one, long story or a magazine serial, which is how they began. Sure, they’re fun and allow me to escape into fantasy for a while. Tarzan as lord of the jungle who loves to eat raw flesh is just part of the fantasy and liking him doesn’t make me crazy. I read health books when I want to be serious and books by Burroughs and Clive Cussler when I want to be amused.”

“Sounds okay to me!” We both stare Brian down and he flushes, sliding down into the couch. “Maybe he needs more details about the Tarzan And The Golden Lion?”

“Well, Tarzan and his family discovered him as an orphaned cub and Tarzan raised him to obey his every command. When Tarzan doesn’t return from a trip through the jungle to the ruins of an ancient city that hordes jewels, the lion escapes and finds him just in time to help him overthrow hundreds of lion-worshiping gorillas...”

I laugh. “My hero cleaning up the jungle of screwy troublemakers! Are you satisfied now, Brian?”

“Satisfied?!” He launches himself out of the couch. “I’m satisfied that you two wackos deserve each other. Let me outta here!” And he’s soon, face averted, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. “Coming?”

Jan again winks at me and before long I’m alone, chuckling and shaking my head. D.H. Lawrence awaits my pleasure and I open where I had left off.

This has been my entry to msmorvay's Resurrecting The Oldies write-off. Go to http://www.epinions.com/user-mrsmorvay for more information on the write-off.

Recommended: Yes