KubrickFan's Full Review: The ABBA Generation by The A-Teens
Ladies and gentlemen, I am usually a firm believer in the statement "If you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all." And I have done many things that show that I support this. When Great White released Great Zeppelin: A Tribute To Led Zeppelin, I held my peace. I bit my tongue when 3rd Faze cited O-Town as an inspiration. And I did not say a word when I found out that Lance Bass, Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, and Mandy Moore were ALL making their own movies. But this...
Good people of Epinions, I cannot keep this to myself any longer.
I consider myself very lucky to have been born after ABBA had broken up and disappeared from the public's memory forever. I also consider myself priveleged that I was too young to have any recollection of the supremely bad wave of hair bands. For the longest time, I thought the only misfortune I had encountered in the music scene was the terrible onslaught of manufactured boy bands and crap-rock. Luckily, I was able to combat these repulsive acts by immersing myself in such wonderful wonderful bands like Imperial Drag, Morris Day & The Time, and Tenacious D. But this... All the music of The Mahavishnu Orchestra is hardly enough to keep me safe from the terrible wrath of The A*Teens.
I'm usually good at figuring out puzzling music mysteries, such as the break-up of The Beatles, what makes Morris Day so cool, and why Roger Manning is the single-most underrated musician of the 90's. But, try as I might, I can find no reason for why this album exists, or why anyone would ever want to buy it. For god's sake, ABBA was bad enough, but why anyone would want to make note-for-note covers of it with hardly any discernable difference between the cover and the original is beyond me. If you want to hear four white-bred European jerk-offs sing the tunes of ABBA, why wouldn't you just go and buy an ABBA record? Why would you ever want to hear a brand new batch of white-bred European jerk-offs, with even less staying-power than the original ABBA, sing the original tunes with virtually no difference?
I'm not even going to try to figure out why they decided to call this glistening jewel of badness "The ABBA Generation," when all four of the members were born several years after the original ABBA disbanded.
Alright, I've vented. Now I can go back to ignoring completely awful pop-culture items. But I don't know... Ripping into the movies Bubble Boy or Glitter is veerrrrry tempting. All of you out there in Epinionsland will just have to wait for my next installment of frustrated ranting to see what I'll dis next.
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