Some Ants Just Need To Get Stomped: The Hacker and the Ants.
Written: Aug 05 '03
Product Rating:
Pros: The technology is up-to-date and cool.
Cons: A middle-aged hacker gets horny.
The Bottom Line: A novel with good plot and lots of potential, unfortunately, the main character is infuriatingly annoying and shallow. The book looses its edge and is like chewing aluminum foil.
avepythagoras's Full Review: Rudy Rucker - The Hacker and the Ants: Version 2.0
No one wants to see old guys picking up chicks."
-The Family Guy.
When Good Ideas Go Wrong
This is one reason why you should never buy a book from the "Staff Recommends" section at Barnes and Noble, or Border for that matter. Or, never go to a bookstore when you are craving a book. This seems sound advice, just like never shop on an empty stomach. You end up buying things you don't need, the kind of stuff you'll regret later. But anyways, there I was, standing before the "Staff Recommends" self, eager for something new, something different, something I hadn't considered before. "A great Cyberpunk novel," the card said, "better than Neuromancer.¡¨ I like cyberpunk and I had never heard of this author before. Hey, if it¡¦s better than Neuromancer it couldn't be half bad...
Well, in short, it was bad. And I no longer respect the opinions of the mindless corporate automatons that work at Barnes and Noble.
The Hacker and the Ants: Version 2.0 by Rudy Rucker is a perfect example of how good ideas can go horribly wrong, at least in a novel format. Jerzy Rugby is an overly pompous computer programmer working for the company GoMotion. He's into robotics and is a key player in the development of a house-trained robot soon to be marketed worldwide. He's recently divorced and middle-aged. He also can't get his mind off sex; in fact, he talks endlessly about it. He's supposed to be clever, a sort of uber-hacker, with skills in theoretical computer engineering. As he also helps his boss with genetic algorithms designed to aid the programming of the world's first house-bot. And he's good at complaining, he does a lot of that, very self-loathing.
So, when the world turns against Jerzy, as a plague of computer viruses, known as ants, wreck havoc throughout cyberspace, I had little sympathy for his plight. He's exactly the type of person that should be used as a scape-goat for all the world's problems. In fact, I didn't care if he was arrested, tortured, and given a lobotomy. As long as he'd stop complaining about how he wasn't getting laid, or how his wife left him for a Sushi chef. That¡¦s all this character does. And while Rudy Rucker probably intended Jerzy to be enduring and open-minded, he ended penning a character that irritates the hell out of the reader. And because the novel is written in first-person, you never get the end of his loathsome diatribes, middle-aged sexaholism, or woe-is-me demeanor. And it only gets worse when he tries to pick up a young, near jail-bate, Vietnamese girl...he gets invited over to dinner instead.
Are There Any Redeeming Qualities?
Rudy Rucker is good at one thing: technology. As a writer he has a privileged position in the world: he was a programmer in Silicon Valley--until he got fired--and now is a computer science professor. I don't doubt his knowledge on the subject. He knows computers, and it shows, this novel is chock full of insight into the computer tech industry, the development process behind new technology, and the cutthroat world of Silicon Valley. But there is a difference between writing a novel and writing a something you'd pick up in the science section. And while Rucker's skills at technology may qualify him as a good science writer, I wouldn't give him much credit for his fiction. In fact, I would suggest that he not quit his day job. But it seems he's aware of this.
The best moments in this novel concern evolutionary programming. As the ants break loose into the 'net, they begin to evolve and grow more difficult to destroy. Even with 'ant-lions' hunting them down, they escape and flourish within the cracks and crevices of cyberspace. Very cutting edge, the possibilities of evolutionary programming and genetic algorithms raise a few interesting concerns, as most of the sci-fi in this novel exists nearly as science-fact. But it always returns to the fear: will computers eventually take over the world? Not like that theme has been beaten dead yet or anything...
Also, Jerzy's prototype robot Studly is a trip and probably the most enjoyable personality in this novel. Programmed to be clever and cool, Studly has some choice lines throughout the novel. Though the main character--who I just wanted to hit with a nine iron or sand wedge--radically overshadows him.
So there are a few redeeming qualities, just enough for this novel to escape the dreaded 'one star.'
In The End:
This novel isn't really worth your time. Even with the few good moments, it just doesn't measure up. If you see it, avoid it, unless you have some time on your hands with nothing better to do--though I could think of so much I'd rather do than reread this novel, like dig a ditch or watch Dr. Phil. If you are an overly egotistical computer hacker with a penchant for complaining about your sex-life aloud and to an audience, then by all means, this book is for you. Otherwise, read something else. I would suggest that Rucker start a career in science writing, particularly in evolutionary programming. He's good at that. But as a novelist, he just doesn't 'hack it'.
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