As a new mother, I am very glad I read this book, and I am perpetually nagging my husband to read it, as well.

This book has been dismissed by many as being "that book that says parents don't matter." This is a shame, because parents are missing the opportunity to read a brilliant and thought-provoking book about how children learn. What do kids learn from their parents? What do they pick up from their peers? What role do teachers and older children play? Is this different in our modern society than in other cultures? Intriguing answers to all these questions are here, with plenty of well thought out explanations and discussion of experimental evidence.

As parents, we want to feel that we are the most important factor in our children's raising. Obviously, what we do in raising our children is difficult and important work. But is it the only -- or the single most important -- factor in how our children turn out? A friend of mine swore she would raise "Disney-free" children and refused to give her children any Disney products, take them to Disney movies, or expose them in any way to anything Disney. Despite my friend's earnest efforts, at age four, her daughter was obsessed with the Disney Pocahontas character. Had my friend read this book, she would not have been mystified and frustrated.

After Judith Harris explains how much influence parents have on children's development (and how much influence other sources have), she provides extremely wise advice for parents about how to make the most of their influence. Judith Harris' work has not yet been tested by time, but it is the most convincing explanation of how children learn and are socialized that I have read.

I cannot recommend this beautifully written book highly enough. Responsible parents, who want to raise the best children possible, should read this book and discuss it with their spouses.



Recommended: Yes