Donnie: "Would you like some fries to go with... hey, where did he go? Damnit, that's the fourth one now in the first hour! What's going on out there???"

Ricky "It's that movie The Order, man, I'm telling you."

Donnie: "But what does a movie have to do with customers walking out of our very own restaurant, Rickie D's, in the middle of placing an order?"

Ricky "There's your answer, man, you just said it. The movie is called The Order, they're making a statement about how much it blows by making orders and walking out on them."

Donnie: "Well they don't have to take it out on us."

Ricky "Hey, you never know, we might get some reporters in here, get famous or something."

Donnie: "Jeez, how could a movie be that bad?"

Ricky: "Ah, well maybe I can shed some light on that subject. Jane and I just went to see it lastnight. She fell asleep about fifteen minutes into it."

Donnie: "In that case, I'll pass on taking Gretchen to it."

Ricky: "Man, Gretchen falls asleep at every single movie you take her to, what does it matter?"

Donnie: "Hey, chut up. So tell me more about this Order thing."

Ricky: "Okay, it's about these guys, the Carolingians. They're some group, or order, of priests from a long time ago. Anyways, their leader dies. So one of the guys, his name is Alex. You know Heath Ledger?"

Donnie: "Yeah, the kid in Monster's Ball, right?"

Ricky: "Uh-huh. He was also in The Four Feathers. So he plays Alex. And Alex discovers these weird marks on the dead body of his order's leader. Then he finds out that the marks were made by this guy called the Sin Eater."

Donnie: "Sin Eater? Err, how exactly do you eat a sin?"

Ricky: "Preferably with a good smoke, I would say. Anyway, you know how those churches are, all strict and everything. They say you can't get into Heaven if you have sinned, so the Sin Eater is this guy who offers an alternate way to get into Heaven. He has you lie down, makes these marks around you, puts a cross on your head, and bread on your chest. Then he says the magic words, and picks up the bread and eats it. Suddenly, this beanstalk looking thing grows out of your chest and, with it, the sins and the burden go into the mind of the Sin Eater."

Donnie: "And how much does he charge, I wonder?"

Ricky: "Apparently nothing. You just have to get lucky and hope he happens to be there, I suppose."

Donnie: "Ooo-kay. So what, do you like, get to see what the sins are?"

Ricky: "No, that's kind of irrelevant anyway."

Donnie: "Irrelevant? I don't know, if it was the difference between going to Heaven and going to Hell I'd want to know."

Ricky: "Never mind that. So Alex gets a little help from this chick who apparently tried to kill him a year ago, and this other guy. They're played by the same actors who played with him in A Knight's Tale. Five bucks says you can't name them."

Donnie: "Shannyn Sossamon and Mark Addy. Now hand it over."

Ricky: (reaching into his pocket) "You never fail to impress me."

Donnie: "Eh, thanks. So why use the same three people?"

Ricky: "Why not? Kevin Smith does it all the time."

Donnie: "I guess so. Anyway, so Alex gets help from them, I understand that. But help to do what?"

Ricky: "Basically just to find out where the marks on their leader's body came from."

Donnie: "Oh, is it like one of those torture things or somethin?"

Ricky: "Actually, no, I was surprised. There was nothing even close to a torture scene. I was kind of worried about that, 'specially for Jane's sake, I don't like her seeing that kind of thing. About the worst it got was when they would hang people and ask them questions while they were dying, something about a dying person having more knowledge and insight in those dying moments than a living person."

Donnie: "Sounds freaky."

Ricky: "You said it, man. I didn't care that much what happened. For one thing, I was caught up in thinking the girl would end up BEING the Sin Eater. You know how they're always doing that these days. Anyway, The Sin Eater himself doesn't show up until a little over halfway in. He was the only remotely cool part about the movie."

Donnie: "So the Sin Eater is a person?"

Ricky: "Yeah. Benno Furmann played the part, he was pretty decent. Some of his lines were cool, he had this one, what was it? ..Oh yeah, The worst part about searching for the truth is that sometimes you find it."

Donnie: "Are you serious? Well, all I can say is, the worst part about searching for movie quotes is that you might find that one."

Ricky: "Aw, come on man, it's not that bad! Well I thought it was cool."

Donnie: "Okay, tell me what the worst line was."

Ricky: "That one's easy. Women, can't live with them, can't live with them."

Donnie: "You're full of shit."

Ricky: "I am not."

Donnie: "Someone actually says that in the movie?"

Ricky: "Yep."

Donnie: "Jeez. So what do he and the Sin Eater do all that time? Does he have a big secret like they always do?"

Ricky: "Even if I could remember, which I don't, I wouldn't tell you. He just hangs out with the Sin Eater while they talk about the past and how things came to be and some other isht, and somewhere down the line, Alex realizes time is running out -- he's got to either kill the Sin Eater, or ..um, do something else."

Donnie: "So what about the effects? I heard those were kind of cool."

Ricky: "Eh, they were okay. I thought the scenery, especially in Paris, was cooler than the effects. Nothing too terribly exciting about the effects. Just cut and paste a bunch of white tentacles of random shapes and sizes, have them move violently across the screen in a zillion different directions, spatter with red blotches here and there, and finish it off with a lot of loud noise, and there you have it."

Donnie: "Sounds boring."

Ricky: "Never underestimate the power of denial."

Donnie: "So why is it called the Order anyway?"

Ricky: "I honestly have no clue. It's called The Sin Eater everywhere else, and for what little I could grasp, that seems to be more what the movie is about. That is, on the occasion that it's not indulging in gratuitous Bible references or cheap scares."

Donnie: "So it sounds to me like this is a skipper."

Ricky: "Absolutely, man. Stay away from it, whatever you do."

Donnie: "Shouldn't be a problem. So what are you doing after work?"

Ricky: "Probably gonna go help Lester with the yardwork. What about you?"

Donnie: "I'm just gonna follow this water tentacle coming out of my chest and see where it takes me....."

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