Twilight: Eclipse (2010) Directed by David Slade

"Doesn't he own a shirt?" Edward Cullen, about Jacob.

Here is a quick recap of the Twilight Saga.  Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) moved to Forks, Washington, the least sunny city in America.  There, she met Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).  The Cullens have a secret; they are vampires.  The coven, led by Dr. Carlisle Cullen (Peter Facinelli) is unique; they are all teens, except for mom and dad, and were brought over to save their lives.  They are also vegetarians.  Well, they only drink animal blood, the vampire equivalent.

This is a good thing, because it persuades the local Indian tribe to allow them to go on living.  You see, they have magic too; shapeshifters.  When a threat appears, the tribe produces werewolves.  Well, there are vampires living in Forks, so there is a pack.

One of that pack is Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), a friend of the family, who has the hots for Bella.  So, Bella has a best friend who wants to kill her boyfriend.  It is instinctual; werewolves hate vampires.  Vampires are not particularly fond of Werewolves either, though I think that is just the natural reaction to something designed to kill you.

Anyhoo... way back in the beginning, Bella was attacked by a pack of vampires.  Edward and the Cullens defended her, and Edward killed a vampire named James.  Now James' girlfriend Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard) is out to even the score; she wants to kill Bella so Edward will know the suffering she endured at losing her true love.

Bella's dad, Sheriff Charlie Swan (Billy Burke) doesn't really like Edward, and he does like Jacob.  And that sets the scene for this movie.

And the fact that I had to do that demonstrates one of the greatest flaws of the film; it has trouble standing on its own.  But on to Eclipse.

There is trouble brewing up north in Seattle; far too many people are being killed or going missing.  The Cullen's suspect vampire involvement.

Meanwhile, things simmer along on the romance front.  Bella is waiting to graduate so she can become an undead monstrosity like her boyfriend, and let their love be eternal, or at least endless, (inescapable?)  Edward is pushing her to get married.  And Jacob is not talking to her.  But the situation in Seattle is proving to be too much to not intrude on their lives.

Someone is building an army of vampires, and guess who they are coming after.  Well, Bella wanted something to make Edward and Jacob get along; now they have it, a vampire war with the sole goal of killing Bella.

Of course all the action and mayhem is like the sherbet they serve between courses to clean your palate.  Bella and Edward worry over the correctness of making her an unnatural thing (Chase Victoria through the woods) Bella worries that Jacob isn't talking to her any more. (Carnage in Seattle, as the new army is made.)  Edward and Jacob bow up and flex (Jacob wins that one) over who would be better for Bella.  (Training from Jasper on how to fight newbie vampires.) You see how it works.  If we just worried through their relationships, every male in the audience would gnaw his own throat out just to escape the unending cascade of angst.

And I guess that is why ultimately these movies aren't any better.  The main focus is on the emotional overtures, and undercurrents, but the characters themselves are rather shallow.  On the positive side, Edward Cullen got to shine a little deeper, as behooves a century old man, as his notions of propriety ran headlong into Bella's liberated hormones.

And ultimately that is what this movie is; an old fashioned romance, where the heroine is pursued by two suitors who are talk, dark, and handsome, with mysterious pasts and dark secrets.  They court and woo her, always bringing her to the brink of violent passion, then....coitus interuptus via plot hook.  And guys, there is a hidden message there.  If you are wondering why the heck all these girls are getting so worked up for over Team Edward and Team Jacob, that's the real clue.  They want a little romance.  Time to buy some flowers for no reason, or write a little poetry.  Maybe if you give them some romance at home, they won't have to go seeking it amongst the monsters.

Bloodletting on Film and Page.  Vampires.

Blood For Dracula
Lost Boys: The Thirst
True Blood: Second Season
Twilight: Eclipse
Thirst
Dark Shadows: The Revival
Batman vs. Dracula
Marebito
Daybreakers
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Dracula
Blood: The Last Vampire
Cirque DuFreak: The Vampire's Assistant
Let the Right One In
Dead and Gone
True Blood
Twilight
Pathos II
PathosI
Perfect Creature
From Dusk 'Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter
From Dusk 'Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money
From Dusk 'Till Dawn
Lost Boys: The Tribe
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Near Dark
Dracula (1979)
Vampire$
The Lost Boys
30 Days of Night

Recommended: Yes

Movie Mood: Date Movie
Film Completeness: Looked complete to me.