sarahalm's Full Review: Ticonderoga Pencils 2 Soft Lead Dozen
Ah, sweet procrastination. Time was I believed the only sure method of getting through a tedious day was playing solitaire on the computer. Then along came Free Cell, and Hearts, then the next level -- Yahoo! Games -- and finally, recently, Epinions. Yes, to some this site may be a font of useful knowledge, a place to make new friends, or the web's number one authority on illicit uses of hotel room window seats. But to me, it's the best way to get through an otherwise dull day without actually accomplishing anything I'm paid to do.
My new approach to Epinions has probably become obvious to some, since I recently reviewed Piglet’s Big Movie and a stupid can opener. And yet, as I sat here at my desk today, Wednesday, "hump day" (which is not as fun as that moniker makes it sound), I decided there must be an even more useless review I could write. And I spun my pencil around on my desk thinking of what that could be until I realized -- the answer had been right there all the time!
So here it is. My review of a pencil.
Appearance
This is the classic pencil. It's yellow, as it should be, with a lovely glossy sheen to the color. The words "DIXON TICONDEROGA 1388-2/HB" are printed on the side of the pencil in shiny metallic green lettering. In addition, the pencil is stamped "U.S.A.", suggesting that it is made here in the greatest country on Earth. There's also a green metallic oval with the word "SOFT" printed inside; that refers to the fact that #2 lead is "soft". The barrel of the pencil is hexagonal (that means it has six sides). At the top is a metal band made of metallic green metal with two yellow stripes matching the barrel of the pencil. The central green band of this piece is ridged; I'm not sure what purpose that serves, other than the obvious aesthetic advantages. Atop this metal band (and presumably secured to the barrel by it) is the eraser, a soft pink column of rubber.
Aside... The pencil is named "Ticonderoga" after Fort Ticonderoga in New York. According to the Dixon website, "Fort Ticonderoga was a military post in Ticonderoga, New York. On the morning of May 10, 1775, Ethan Allen and a force of eighty-three Green Mountain Boys took the fortress away from the British. Fort Ticonderoga fell to patriot Ethan Allen, without loss of life, when he called out to the British commanding officer, 'Come out, you rat!' The result was a great surge of morale needed for Patriots to spur the American Revolution. Today, Fort Ticonderoga’s legacy represents the audacity and determination that contributed to American Independence." So using this pencil is a patriotic exercise as well as a necessary part of editing documents.
Size
The pencil starts out about 9 inches long, including the eraser, which is about 1/4 long. (More on this imbalance later.) The pencil is narrow, about 3/8 inch in diameter, which is a comfortable size to hold. I note that Dixon also offers a slightly thicker pencil which it boasts is easier for children to hold. (By the way, I have never understood why we think it is easier for small children, with their teensy little hands, to hold big fat crayons and pencils. Totally illogical.)
Materials and Structure
According to the company's website (accessible via www.dixonusa.com), the barrel of the pencil is made of cedar. I smelled the pencil to see if it smelled like cedar chips. It didn't smell particularly cedar-y, but it did smell like a pencil, which was reassuring. I quite like the smell of pencils. Go on, while nobody is looking, smell a newish pencil. Brings back memories, don't it? The pencil is just strong enough to be used for any everyday writing activity without risking breakage, but just weak enough to snap in two for emphasis when yelling at a subordinate about how frustrated their incompetence makes you. The barrel is perfectly straight, rendering the pencil very aero-dynamic when throwing it up in the attempt to lodge the tip in the drop ceiling of your office.
(WARNING: This hobby poses two serious risks. (1) a pencil can fall out of the ceiling and poke you. (2) the pencil can get stuck, successfully, before you figure out that the ceiling is too high to reach, even if you stand on your desk, and you can't get the pencil out so when your boss comes back from vacation he is totally going to see it hanging there, no matter how many times you throw a book at it trying to knock it loose.)
Although we all refer to the point of the pencil as the "lead", pencils are actually made with graphite these days. Lead is way too dangerous for kids who eat writing implements and old people who inexplicably lick the tips of pencils before writing with them.
Graphite is made entirely of carbon, so if you squeeze it really really hard you will get a diamond. But don't do that because it's hard to write with diamonds. The specific gravity of graphite is 2.2 and in the US it is quarried primarily in New York and New Jersey. (Fascinating, I know.)
Performance
Okay, in all seriousness, this is the best pencil around. It's guaranteed to be a Number 2 soft lead, so you know what you're getting. Number 1 pencils lose their sharp tips way too fast, and Number 4 hard pencils make a faint little line that's barely legible. Number 2 rocks. This pencil writes smoothly, as far as I remember -- it's been days since I did any work. Most importantly, the eraser works great. It doesn't leave icky smudges or pink marks on the paper, and it removes about 85% of the writing. We use pencil for all our edits around here, because people rarely take each other's suggestions on things. Which leads me to my sole complaint about this pencil: the skimpy eraser. You get this whole big pencil full of graphite, and this teensy little eraser. I mean, they have invented those little eraser supplement caps to stick on the end of pencils because of this imbalance, and yet the pencil makers haven't corrected the underlying problem. When I started working at my current job, the pencils in my desk (left over from my predecessor) were all 8 inches long with absolutely zero eraser left. I went to Walgreens for those little eraser caps and have been much happier ever since.
Special Features 1. Bitemarks -- these pencils show bite marks very clearly, perhaps because cedar is a rather soft wood. The advantage of this is that if anyone sticks your pencil in their nasty mouth you'll know and be able to toss the thing before you get SARS or something.
2. Magical color changing -- over time, the metallic green paint on the pencil will lose its green color and become silver. Neato.
3. Looseleaf Paper Organizer -- a pencil barrel is just a teeny bit larger in diameter than the hole in a looseleaf paper; when collating punched pages, try stacking them on a pencil , then sliding the whole batch into the binder off the pencil barrel. Works great.
Dangers and Notices
Pencils can be more dangerous than you think.
1. Stabbings -- Never run with a pencil; you could fall and stab yourself in the eye. Never fall asleep while writing with a sharpened pencil; you could end up with the tip up your nose. Never stand in a doorway with a sharpened pencil in your hand and shift your weight to the other side and slam your thigh into the tip of the pencil you are holding at your side and break the tip off in your leg. Even if you are only, say, 9 years old, that little pencil piece will stay in there forever, and you will have this weird graphite colored divot in your left thigh when you're 31. Hypothetically.
2. Uselessness -- A pencil can only be used after it has been sharpened. The box does not warn you that the pencils inside are not sharpened yet. You will need to find a sharpener and sharpen the pencil regularly, or it will rapidly become useless. You will find yourself using your eyebrow pencil sharpener, a pen knife, your teeth, and other inappropriate devices to get a sharp point.
3. Theft/Acquisition -- Some people are pencil losers, some people are pencil acquirers. Both roles can be equally hazardous. If you are a pencil loser, you will continually be forced to visit the supply closet for new pencils, and the secretary will think you are stealing things. If you are a pencil acquirer, you will suddenly find that there is no room on your desk for important things like a Page-a-Day "Get Fuzzy" calendar because all you have is hundreds of coffee mugs with the handles missing filled with pencils.
Seriously
To be honest, these are the best pencils there are. They write good, and they erase good, and they don't look silly. Plus, they have a nostalgia factor going for them. And they match the school bus.
Accessories
There are a surprising number and variety of pencil accessories available. Some are advised and some are not. For instance: supplemental eraser tips are good things to put on your pencil. Trolls are not. A purse or briefcase is a good place to store a pencil. An acid-washed denim pencil case that fits in your Trapper-Keeper is not. The inside pocket of your jacket is a good place to keep a pencil handy. A pocket protector in your short-sleeved polyester dress shirt with clip on tie is not.
Thank you for reading this utterly ridiculous review. I enjoyed occupying 30 minutes of my day with it.
Epinions.com periodically updates pricing and product information from third-party sources, so some information may be slightly out-of-date. You should confirm all information before relying on it.
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