Presenting: The Immortal, Scary Dark Lord who Masturbates.
Written: Jan 12 '02
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Well sculpted, material has authentic look, decent accessories
Cons: action feature involves masturbation and completely ruins a good figure
The Bottom Line: Masturbation and Toys - two things that I don't not agree with, but combined into a toy makes this figure suck. Not to worry, though, read on....
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| shocka's Full Review: Toy Biz The Lord of The Rings: Witch King Ringwrai... |
Before I begin my review, I just want to point out a previous review of mine for the Lord of the Rings action figure Gimli (a far better figure for your cash) was posted in the Suggested Products a day before it was added to the database. So I'll plug it here: http://www.epinions.com/content_52356615812 and mention I wont cover some of the stuff similar of the line in this epinion (since it has detailed descriptions of the packaging etc which is the same as this figure in the Gimli epinion).
From The Fellowship of the Rings, the great film by Peter Jackson, comes the figure Witch King Ringwraith. In the book by Tolkien, the Ringwraiths were holders of the rings of power who were turned by them, and are now bent on finding the one ring and returning it to their master Sauron and resuming his power. In the film, these are awesome - their creepy, vicious black robes surround their twisted metal skin adorning the fact that they have no face, as they carry enormous swords, stalking poor Frodo Baggins and his Hobbit buddies to get the ring. The promo pictures of the figure for these characters is wonderful; the same, dead-on sculpt and great pose is McFarlane-esque; what a shame the final product falls so flatly, since this is easily one of the worst toys I've ever bought.
The Witch King Ringwraith stands 6 1/2" tall from his feet to the top of his robe. His sculpt is excellent; his entire body is adorned with thick, black robes made from soft plastic-rubber, movable, posable and flowing just like real material. His limbs are made of black-washed metal armour, sloppily applied but good-looking with the black robes. Where his head should be in the robes there is nothing, like the source material; this is a great effect and adds to the figure. Overall, the sculpt is decent, one of the better of the LotR line.
The accessories are ok; Ringwraith includes two swords identical to the film (or at least would be identical if the paint wasn't so poorly applied) - a large 6" longsword and the smaller dagger, which has a neat feature. The end of the blade is retractable, thus allowing the Ringwraith to stab Frodo Baggins, like the movie. As good as this is, the dagger looks silly with the retractable bit hanging loosely from the end of the dagger. Eck. Both weapons have sheaths, that can be attached or removed from the Ringwraith's robes. Overall, the accessories are ok; the longsword is pretty good (if only he could hold it well, he'd look threatening).
Ashamedly, this is where the praise ends. The articulation for the Ringwraith is not just bad, it's appalling. Articulated on the right shoulder and elbow, both wrists, legs, knees and feet, this guy is just insanely stupid. The left arm isn't articulated so that the moronic "action feature" can work, which involves pushing the button on his back so he can masturbate. No joke. Give it a push, and our dark lord visits Mr Palm and her five daughters. Argh. It's meant to be a sword lunging action, but it doesn't look it at all. His arm straightens, and he does move the sword, but since the arm hangs down to his pelvic area, he may as well be stabbing the ground, and even the movement is weak. Absolute crap. The left had is the only hand that can hold a weapon, meaning that if you pose him holding his longsword, he's got it leaning over in a stupid STUPID position. It sucks. Even McFarlane figures with the lease of articulation have a single good pose. Ringwraith should be a gardener, not a scary dark lord guy. Eck.
Since the Ringwraith is somewhat hard to find, you have to pay the unmarked down price to buy him, and for that price, you don't want some crappy articulation/action problem screwing you over.
So, what to do? As a rookie customiser, I wasn't going to let this pricey figure slip without attempting some alterations. I had a few different choices that I could do:
1) Take the figure back and exchange it. Unfortunately, I couldn't, as I'd lost the receipt.
2) Leave the figure as it is in his wanking glory as a Rove figure. (You yankees wont get this joke. Nevermind.)
3) Customise the fellow into a Grim Reaper.
Number 3 is the only way to go, especially since we currently have a lack of a good Grim Reaper figure, and making this guy is super easy as all the work is done for you. Simply find a decent skull from a previous figure (two I recommend: the skull from the McFarlane Sleepy Hollow Headless Horseman, or the skull that comes with Spawn Series 12 Heap) and glue it into the place where the Ringwraith's head is missing. Now, you can leave the hands silver, or you can repaint them as bone using a white-flesh tone with a drybrush in brown. Then, find or make a scythe (I recommend the scythe from the Freak, from the early Spawn series) and place it in his sword hand, and glue the loose elbow joint in his left arm in a bent position. If you press the action button, he'll now attack with the scythe. Viola!!! Instant Grim Reaper. You can build on this by leaving his arms silver and repainting all of him as a silver, metal Grim Reaper, including little computer chips and wires, and adding a metal custom mechanical scythe, like the Tortured Souls one. It's easy and it makes a crap figure worth something.
So, to conclude, the Witch King Ringwraith sucks, all thanks to Toy Biz's inventive inclusion of an action feature. Thanks, retards!! Luckily, since his sculpt is so good, you can customise it easily, and he can become one of the most interesting figs in your collection. Unless your going to customise this fellow, I think you should pick up the boxed figure with the horse, which is a lot better. Not recommended.
Recommended:
No
Amount Paid (US$): 9
Type of Toy: Action Figure
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Epinions.com ID:
shocka
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