Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

Wow. This movie was really bad.  Starring Sandra Bullock and Denis Leary, I really thought this would be a cute romantic comedy.  Usually that type of movie isn't horrible, at worst it's a bit predictable.  But this movie was just awful.

I'm talking about Two If By Sea.  Bullock and Leary play Roz and Frank, attempting to pull off "one last job".  You see, Frank is a thief, and while his girlfriend Roz doesn't actually consider herself a thief, she's a definite accomplice on Frank's jobs.  They've just stolen a very valuable painting.  Now all they have to do is meet up with the buyer and collect their money.  Except the meeting isn't for a few days, so they have to bide their time until then.  Roz and Frank just need a place to stay low for a few days.  But of course, one mistake after another means the police and FBI are on their trail.

So is this movie funny?

Well, yes, in parts.  Mostly the jokes come from the four bumbling guys who are trying to set up the buyer.  These guys are more like clowns than professional thieves.  And the FBI agents are barely any better.  The whole thing is just very silly.  As far as Roz and Frank go, they had a few cute scenes.  But with their thick New England accents, and constant bickering, they were more a source of irritation than humor.

Is it romantic?

I guess.  After all, the idiot thief and his idiot accomplice-girlfriend do try to make their relationship work.  But I'd hardly call this a "traditional romance".  And I sure wasn't rooting for them in any shape or form.  I honestly didn't care one single bit if they stayed together or broke up.  For a few minutes, Roz considers a relationship with the handsome stranger (Stephen Dillane) who lives next door to the house where they're staying.  But that fizzled almost as quickly as it started. 

Any sort of twist, or surprise... anything exciting at all happen?

Well, there's something at the end that one might consider a "surprise", except I thought it was obvious all along.  If you've seen any movie at all in the past 10 years, I think you'll see this "surprise" coming, by the half-way point. 

Nope - there really is nothing here to make this 90 minute snooze-fest worth it.  No big payoff, no excitement, nothing that'll be considered "memorable".  In fact, I'm rushing to get this review done for fear that I won't remember this film, tomorrow.

The only thing about this movie that I liked was the scenery.  It's supposed to be New England, but it was filmed in Nova Scotia.  What gorgeous landscape!  I would love to live in that house where Frank and Roz are staying!

Other than that, what a disappointment!  I normally like Sandra Bullock but this film was just terrible.  I really have to wonder why she would take a script such as this.  My advice: watch anything else.

Recommended: No

Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age