Vagina Whip: Whipped Cream Isn't Always For Strawberries You Know
Written: Nov 26 '07 (Updated Nov 26 '07)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Can be fun for about 30 seconds, doesn't need refrigerated.
Cons: Can prove to be emotionally devastating if the wrong person finds it.
The Bottom Line: Vagina Whip, save your money and buy some Redi-Whip instead.
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| Freak369's Full Review: Vagina Whip - Cinnamon Schnapps |
Preface: This is a review of an adult product. If you are offended by a frank discussion of adult sex aids and toys please stop reading this review
Personally I don't know what's funnier, that this is listed in the "Spirits and Beers" section of the site or that it is even listed at all. Once again, I entered another strange word [the "V" word] into the database and this was amongst the plethora of search results. Vagina Whip is a product that is designed to make sexual encounters a bit more, well, sexual. Sometimes the idea behind something is awesome but the implementation is lackluster. I also think that when men troll the aisles of an adult bookstore and see anything with the word "vagina" in it, they are drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I have learned a lot since Tommy and I started hanging out. Never let him shop at Costco alone, always check his pockets before doing laundry and never let him to go an adult bookstore with his friends. If I would have known about that last one a while back I am sure we could have ended up saving a lot of money on useless purchases.
Vagina Whip The Sensual One
If the tagline on the package says "Sweetened With Splenda" and that is the hook that they are trying to use to sell an adult product, chances are it's not worth the money. The little sticker that informed me that this was calorie free was probably worth more than Vagina Whip. Oh but we don't just have one flavor, one just wasn't enough. We started out with the Cinnamon Schnapps and when that was a complete flop Tommy thought that maybe a different flavor would help. The flavor wasn't the problem; the product was the problem.
OK, first off, let's get the details out of the way. This is an eight ounce can of non-refrigerated whipped topping. It is completely edible and is designed to 'heat things up' in the bedroom. Are they relying on the completely weak cinnamon flavor or the fact that you have to sit there and shake it for twenty seconds to get even the least bit of foam from it. If you've ever used a regular can of whipped topping that requires that you shake it before you spray it, congratulations, you are qualified to use Vagina Whip! Like I said, if your biggest tag or selling point is that it is calorie free, chances are the product is going to flat out suck.
I'm not a prude nor am I one of those shy girls in the bedroom but when he came home with the black bag and cheesy grin on his face, I knew he was at the bookstore with his friends. I rolled my eyes, opened the bag and started laughing. Tommy is, well, still a little wet behind the ears. He sees something advertised and thinks that it is going to perform exactly as stated. He is learning though but I had to write a review of this to let people know that it definitely isn't worth the price that most shops and stores are selling it for.
How is it used? Well, it can be used on any part of the body that you want to shower with affection and attention. Yes, in other words, most people are going to use this for the genital region. Is this safe to be used in the vagina? Well, that needs some explaining. You can't insert the can into the vagina and dispense it into the cavity. Aside from it being nearly impossible to do because of the placement of the nozzle button, it's never a good idea to insert anything pressurized into a body cavity. That urban legend about the man that inserted the air nozzle into is rectum and subsequently exploded isn't a far cry from what can happen. Vagina Whip hasn't killed anyone yet but I am just waiting to see some story in the Weekly world News about it.
Shake the canister for at least twenty seconds and then aim it at the body part you want to coat / cover. After that, well, the clock has started ticking and you need to get to work before the persons body heat starts to break it down and reduce it to a somewhat watery state. Because this has a sweetener in it, when it does start to melt it is going to get sticky so unless you want to change sheets, pillow cases and the comforter when you are don't don’t go crazy with it and spray on half the can.
What does it taste like? Well the Cinnamon Schnapps isn't all that cinnamony or Schnappy; for fifteen dollars a can you would think that this was some gourmet whipping cream that would have a lot of fluff to it and stay 'fluffy' while you are playing. Maybe we got a bum can. I doubt it thought because when Tommy brought home the Very Cherry and Sensual Strawberry, they were the same. Watery after about a minute, weak flavor and you really needed to shake the crap out of it to get it to give you any body at all.
You can get this at most adult bookstores for $12.00 to $15.00 and flavors seem to vary by season. He called me with joy in his voice, "They have a Christmas Peppermint flavor, wanna try it?". The resulting dial tone he heard must have been a good enough answer for him because he returned home without another can of Vagina Whip. There are some warnings on the can; don't aim or spray it in someone eye, recap when not in use and dispose of properly.
The Bottom Line
Save your money and go to the grocery store to get a can of Redi-Whip. It's fluffier, has a better taste and won't leave you sticky from head to toe. He sprayed it on me and proceeded to lick it off and the reaction on his face was priceless. "You mean to tell me you spray THAT on me and never even bothered to taste it?" I guess I was a human guinea pig in that respect. I can safely say that Vagina Whip is something that gets purchased by guys like Tommy or people who don't know any better. You can spend $12.00 - $15.00 on a can of this stuff or spring three bucks for the primo, deluxe gut buster size can of whipped cream at the grocery store. At least then you won't have to worry about someone accidentally picking it up and thinking it's what you are topping off that homemade apple pie with.
As always, thanks for the visit…
~^V^~ Freak ~^V^~
© 2007 Freak369
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Recommended:
No
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