CyndiA's Full Review: Debra Ginsberg - Waiting: The True Confessions of ...
There are some things you are born knowing, and I knew that I did not want to wait tables. While most of the girls around here worked at the community-store lunch counter or the fish house, I bluffed my way through the shop door at the sheet metal business in town. Though I knew I never wanted to smile coyly on cue or deal with guys thinking a big tip meant they could pat my butt which kind of comes with the territory around here, I have always been fascinated with the waitress scene. My sister worked the fish house and came home smelling like salt-n-pepper catfish and telling all manner of interesting tales. I always wondered how the heck she made out waiting tables, because she was always rolling her eyes at me when we were growing up. She must have been nicer to her customers than she was to me, since she made good tips.
When I saw reviews about Waiting: The True Confessions of a Waitress at Epinions, I knew I had to pick up a copy. The one that really sold me on the book was by jenb123 at with one of the few MH I've rated at Epinions:
I adore non-fiction, and so many of the non-fiction books are crime or medicine. This one sounded like a nice change of pace, and it was. Waiting is a fun book and one that I’ll pass around town.
Debra Ginsberg never really dreamed of being a long-term waitress, but she (like so many young girls before and surely in years to come with more people eating out every year) found that she could pick up jobs and make decent money in the field of carrying food out and setting it in front of people. Even though Ginsberg went on to college and felt called to write (and does that now), waitressing kept her floating and helped her pay her way. My cousin is in this boat now as she tries to break into modeling, though she doesn’t seem to have any qualms about supplementing by letting men buy things for her including underwear. I told her if she gets in over her head to come here, and I really do worry about her.
Ginsberg began waiting tables during her high school years, and she quickly jumped up the ladder from lower paying gigs to better ones. She also ducked in and out of family restaurants as her dad opened places and then went under a couple of times. It didn’t really matter where she was or what was going on in her life—she could find work as a waitress. Her dad didn’t seem to be as on-target, since he really could not keep any restaurant going very long.
In Waiting you’ll go behind closed doors in a variety of restaurants and find out what goes on between the time you order the food and the time it lands in front of you. Some things you will not want to know. If the cook is mad at your waitress, you may get cold food on purpose. If you ask for special treatment, then staff will talk about you and might even REALLY spit in your food. Don’t even think about tipping bad and then going back. You might be safe the first time though if you are a woman or have a family, they will figure you won’t tip good anyway. That bit of “wisdom” gripes me, since I do tip and really well—single mom with kids.
The important thing to remember is that you’re playing a game. It is kind of like Survivor on TV. Even though the waitress may act thrilled to see you and ask about your life, she is wanting that good tip and not to stand around and gab. She knows you will probably not even remember her name or recognize her outside the restaurant setting, so don’t think that you are real special and take up more time than would be fair. This does make sense, but it is kind of sad. I think the BBQ women in town with the big hair may be exceptions.
All this may sound harsh, but restaurant people do have lives outside the place where they wait. In fact, they may have lives right behind the kitchen door. As Ginsberg points out, restaurant work is intimate and you just never know what is going on. The cook may be having sex with your waitress in the stockroom, and you just hope they wash their hands.
Ginsberg fell for a chef who fed her all kinds of lines. After getting her heart broke and making a fool or herself with the owner, she was a little slicker on those things. It wasn’t a really big deal career-wise, since she could just move on to another restaurant like most people do. If you make a fool of yourself on most jobs, you don’t have that option.
As luck would have it, Ginsberg found herself pregnant. The restaurant folks just worked around that. It’s hard to find people to wait tables, so you can sling plates whether pregnant or not. In fact, tips may be better when you are pregnant though you have to put up with people touching your stomach. I did work the cash resister one night at the fish house as a favor to the owner. Our pregnant waitress and the really old waitress made the best tips, so you just never know on that.
The book is packed with all kinds of interesting stories. After talking to my sister and cousin, I figure Ginsberg tells it pretty straight. I ate with my cousin at her restaurant yesterday, and she told me all manner of dirt on the hostess (who dances topless on her off nights) and the server (who has 7 kids by 7 different women but pays support for all). I figured I was pretty safe with my food, since my cousin was eating too, though I worried a little when she asked for mashed potatoes in place of French fries. We got the drinks free when we checked out, and I left a hefty tip. I think we’re “good” there now.
The only problem I had with this book is that Ginsberg drifts off close the end and talks about various TV shows and movies featuring waitresses. She says that she is not a researcher (though I figure she could do that—she’s bright). She just adds those academic thoughts to pad, which seem out of place in this conversational book. The TV/movie section is sub-divided and like a research paper. Ginsberg could just toss in mentions of the shows and movies during the book. I could buy that, but I don’t like the analyses as set up. She needs to can that section or incorporate those ideas within the text.
Overall, this is a neat book. Ginsberg is a solid writer, and her stories are moving and funny. She needs to rework a few sections including the TV/movie bit, but readers can skim those parts and pick back up without losing the theme line. This is “story” and should stay in that format and not drift into an academic tone.
Do be prepared to rethink your “eating out” after reading this book. It’s a bit disconcerting to hear what goes on in the kitchen and how waitresses feel about you when you’re sitting there just hoping to have a good evening. We probably expect too much from a breakfast/lunch/dinner, but most of us do not bargain for some of the nasty stuff that we are getting on our plates.
If you work as a waitress or if you ever did tables, then you’ll enjoy this account. Don’t rule the book out if you have never been a server. It’s a great read for those on the other side of the table. You may squirm a bit, but you’ll have a better idea as far as the service you get and why it may be good or bad. You may even want to eat at home more after this book.
After finishing Waiting I know that my head and heart were in the right place when I refused to do the server thing way back and went with sheet metal. I would not enjoy the games customers play or the games waitresses play. I’m just better suited to rivet ductwork and now teach and collect for the hours put in though I enjoy a cold beer and a plate of steaming ribs on Friday. I just hope that no one is fighting backstage and that the busboy does not eat a chunk out of the side of my ribs before they come to the table.
Part memoir, part social commentary, part guide to how to behave when dining out, this book--now in paperback--takes readers on an intimate journey th...More at Cook's Books
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