bob_tomato's Full Review: What I Meant to Say by Donny Osmond
The Purple One has returned again with a brand new album.
Oh wait I'm sorry. Not his Royal Badness, no no sorry, I should have been more specific. I meant, the Purple-socked One. Yep, the all-glitter, all teeth, "a little bit rock and roll" singing wonder Mormon that is Donny Osmond is back with a new album, the appropriately apologetic What I Meant to Say.
The last time Donny Osmond and his famous purple socks made an appearance in the pop music scene was back in 1989-90 with his "comeback" singles Soldier of Love and I'm In It for Love. Since then, he's spent several years on Broadway, most notably as the lead in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Donny tried his hand in television again in 1998 hosting his own talk-show, and most recently released and albums of Broadway songs titled This is the Moment, along with Somewhere In Time, a collection of covers of classic pop songs.
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So, what exactly ARE you trying to say, Donny?
It's been a LONG time since Donny's pop music career was relevant; even in his teen-idol heyday, he was about as hip as slingback pumps on a fly fisherman. He's always sported that squeaky-clean image to match his squeaky-clean tenor, and he's polished both to shiny perfection again with What I Meant To Say.
And if he's saying anything, he needs to speak up there's hardly a moment of passion to be found anywhere in this entire recording. For heaven's sake, how old is Osmond now? You'd think he would have learned a thing or two about emotion in his lifetime, but if he did, he hasn't learned to transfer much of it to his vocal delivery. Whether singing a love song, a melancholy tune or (I hesitate to call it this, but here goes) an upbeat number, Donny's crystal clear tenor does nothing more than sound pretty.
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So, what exactly are YOU trying to say, bob_tomato?
At this point, I should probably pander to Donny's legions of fans, who are no doubt emailing my profile picture worldwide, calling for the Mormon equivalent of a fatwa against the infidel tomato. Ladies, ladies! Never fear you will LOVE this album, if what you want from Donny Osmond are syrupy ballads - you know, those soft, tender nothings whispered in your ear. I think that's what Donny meant to say and he's reserved it for his true fan base. There's nothing adventurous or dangerous going on anywhere in this album; there is no reason to fear that Donny will pop up in a halftime show in purple leather rip-away pants. Oh the scandal! "Donny's special undershorts under the lights! tonight on Extra!"
In fact, I'm not sure that these songs even warrant a PBS special. The last time I heard a Richard Marx song on PBS, To Where You Are was being sung fairly well by Josh Groban. On this new recording, Osmond tries his hand at Marx's Right Here Waiting, and he manages to make a half-way decent ballad into an unintentional lullaby. At least Marx sang the song like he'd lived his own lyrics, but Donny puts absolutely zero emotion into the vocal. The only effort I feel from Osmond is whatever he puts into creating that beautifully pure vocal tone of his.
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What I Meant to Say
There is one relatively strong reason to recommend this album Donny co-wrote most of the songs on the recording. Osmond's fans have been clamoring to hear his song-writing talents, and to be fair, his work here with co-writers Bobby Womack and Gary Barlow isn't bad. The songs aren't anything special, and for what they are intended to be extremely easy-listening, middle of the road pop they work. Osmond even re-visits a Burt Bacharach tune he originally recorded back in the seventies, This Guy's in Love With You. Another song that gets reworked, but to it's ultimate detriment, is Breeze on By, an AOR guitar number Womack co-wrote back in the day with George Benson. All of these tunes are just as watered down as the afore-metioned pumps
The arrangements on the album are Broadway lite, the sound of a typical pit orchestra you'd find in any musical revue piano, strings, light guitar, drums scattered here and there. Occasionally, the orchestra tries to pump up the jams by getting a little funky in songs like In It for Love and Shoulda Known Better, but I ain't buyin' it. A somewhat groovy slapped bass doesn't provide enough smoke and mirrors to make me wanna dance to either song, and I'm not sure why Osmond even bothered to make the effort.
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What I Have to Say
Put your purple socks away. For those of you hoping for a reason to get your Osmondian groove on, What I Meant to Say isn't even just a little bit rock and roll. If you like your Osmond to sound soothingly clean and clear, without even a hint of controversy, passion or genuine soul, then this album is for you.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go do a little fishing
Donny Osmond - What I Meant To Say
Originally released January 11, 2005
Track Listing
What I Meant to Say / Breeze on By / Keep Her in Mind / One Dream / In It for Love / Right Here Waiting / My Perfect Rhyme / Shoulda' Known Better / Whenever You're in Trouble / Insecurity /This Guy's in Love With You / Broken Man
Donny Osmond has been waiting a lifetime for this moment. Two years in planning and 12 months in the making, What I Meant To Say was written and recor...More at Buy.com Marketplaces
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