Sheffield pistols ARCTIC MONKEYS are, anyway the wind blows, the greatest and most singular British act of 2006. We are still in July! Nevertheless, what can I say about the band that, during their week's debut, sold alone more than the remaining Top 20 entries altogether?

...

During 2005, their MP3 were downloaded feverishly. ARCTIC MONKEYS, as an online phenomenon, upped THE STROKES' Is This It. The fastest-selling online band ever.

However, music comes first, when it comes to my reviews. Even though it had sold 20 million copies a day, if the record wasn't that impressive, I would't have payed much attention to the proceedings.

ARCTIC MONKEYS recorded Whatever People Say That's What I'm Not in early 2006 comprising Alex Turner (vocals/guitar), Jamie Cook (guitar), Andy Nicholson (bass) and Matt Helders (drums).

The secret of this band's chemistry is synergy. Everybody plays for the whole. Always speeding up. This is organic, fresh, fleshy and bloody Rock N'Roll. Lyrically, the record can be seen as microcosm of British youth hedonism, from the standpoint of instantaneous celebrities.

The View From The Afternoon opens the flood sounding like a lounge version of THE STROKES/FRANZ FERDINAND; yet, nothing barely resembling the coming of the Musical Lord. Energetic but edgy; calculated statics. Absolute control of dynamics, that's the key issue here (guitars' rage rampant). After a false ending, lyrics start making more sense. Still, this is a developed version of HOT HOT HEAT, falling short of unrelentless brilliance.

I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor still leaves sparking impressions, after all those months of praise. Spirals of compressed riffing and devil-may-care vocals build a great urgency for the STROKEry bridges. The oscillating dynamics is a nice fit. The chorus is near-perfect, only the thin guitars make me cry for more.

Fake Tales of San Francisco is the calculated groovy item on this band's agenda, majestic and imperturbable as any OASIS tune circa 1995, yet funny and good-spirited. The retro call-and-responde between vocals and guitars is a must-hear.

Dancing Shoes, with its Mammoth bass timbre and tongue-in-cheek vocals, it's a spirited joke. It invites your mind to the next dancefloor before exploding in unease of self-containment. Guitar is flawlessly fluid, protean and effective. It will always (until the next record, period) be my favorite ARCTIC MONKEYS tune. Sounds as much as good as any old 1980's Post-Punk favorite.

You Probably Couldn't See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight A... (wow) is the kinetic frenzy moment (funny, the song is almost over after the title is spelled). Unstoppable in its pace, it shows ARCTIC MONKEYS as masters of unrelentlessness. Only JET comes to my mind as a band fit for the task. Even them growled alongside the way whereas Alex Turner remains firmly tongue-in-cheek. This is a band with attitude!

Still Take You Home is another mean, forceful Indie Rocker, undecided whether to dance or to tear the roof apart. It resembles a spiky, edgy WHITE STRIPES. But nonetheless, there's a smooth section that just sprinkles "cool" all around!

Riot Van is the ballad of sorts, it unveils its arrogant quietness as a Bossa Nova played by hooligans. That reminds me of STYLE COUCIL or any other newborn sophisticated band from a former Punk icon - it emphasizes mood "over and over again", but quite never reaches release. Still, good mood.

Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured is a simple, one-chord sequence of diatribes inflicting damage on swinging feet and frantic arms around melodies. It's almost minimalistic - it sounds a GANG OF FOUR for the next millenia, nothing terribly surprising those days of FRANZ FERDINAND. The issue - prostitution - is something Andy Gill could have written about, with exceed of wit. Still, it sounds as sure-shot as a stoned jumping jack (what a chorus, what a terrific guitar work). But here, a minor pleasure next to so many gifted compositions.

Mardy Bum is the merry-go-round happy jack track of the pack. Third-person narratives are not uncommon in English Rock (check out THE KINKS), but ARCTIC MONKEYS are too far from BLUR and PULP to even consider them as bearing any heritage on the matter. Insistent, propulsive bass and drum riffings, lighthearted soloing, it pales next to its companions here, there, everywhere.

Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But... I'm wondering what kind of title is this. This is a kind of slow Blues-Hardcore that finds ARCTIC MONKEYS at their most inertial and sterile. Only the drumming work is (much) noticeable. Those tongue-in-cheek vocals are pretty tiresome on this pace, no? Somehow, they insert a post-punk-ethnic-FRANZ FERDINAND soloing that wears the whole track inside-out and earns them an additional mark. Shutting your mouth right on time is a virtue! Then, the track ends nicely, as it should have opened. Wow...So few bands can save a track like ARCTIC MONKEYS; the coda is practically another track!

When The Sun Goes Down is another ballad, acoustic one, begging for their electric brilliance that finally arrives in clowny fashion, more cautious and rancous than before, to the detriment of synergy. Bass is dumb, mean, bold and pretentious all the more. A minor gem, in Britain, the greatest of their singles. This band is quite intriguing! Another narrative, another girls of the night. The issue is better than the final product, though.

From The Ritz To The Rubble is a drunk narrative, this time electric, possessed, kinetic, everything that makes ARCTIC MONKEYS the fastest guns in Indie Rock, that it, it delivers everything When The Sun Goes Down delivered in homeophatic fashion. The reverbing bass and fuzzy guitar collide to the pleasure of listeners. "That girl is a different girl today", I hope this statement will be held forever.

A Certain Romance manages to surprise listeners even being the last offering, epic in scope, majestic in delivery, almost Heavy Metal in its frontal assault, until...:) A delicate outpouring of acoustic lines follow. Wow. Unfortunately, the lite BEATLESish Ska that follows falls short of that initial brilliance. Even though the walking bass is pretty charming. Even though the solo is a cherry of melody!

So? What about ARCTIC MONKEYS? Do they deserve your bucks? Be sure. Go on until next release, the aptly-titled EP "Who the f*ck are ARCTIC MONKEYS". See ya!

Tracklist:

* * * * The View From The Afternoon
* * * * ½ I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor
* * * * ½ Fake Tales of San Francisco
* * * * * Dancing Shoes
* * * * ½ You Probably Couldn't See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight A...
* * * * ½ Still Take You Home
* * * * Riot Van
* * * * Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured
* * * ½ Mardy Bum
* * * * Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But...
* * * ½ When The Sun Goes Down
* * * * From The Ritz To The Rubble
* * * * A Certain Romance

File under: the red zone rug

Recommended: Yes

Great Music to Play While: Getting ready to go out