Hard cider is one of life’s little evils. And I do not mean that in a bad way.

In order to write this review, I felt it necessary to pull a Woodchuck out of the fridge – after all, I want you to have the benefit of a recent tasting, in order to inform you more fully of the benefits of drinking Woodchuck. So, here I am, sitting at my laptop, Woodchuck at my side. Tonight, I have chosen the ‘Colonial’ as my Woodchuck of choice. Frankly, I am not much on the differences between the various flavors of Woodchuck – hey, I am usually too tipsy to tell the difference between the flavors – I am a college student, after all (if only for one more week).

And there he is, Mr. Woodchuck himself, holding a red apple, saying, “I’m only 5% alcohol, don’t you want a little taste? You won’t get drunk, I promise – I know you trust any animal with pronounced front teeth,” from the bottle’s label. And here I am, trusting him once again.

Normally, Woodchuck is my second to last nightcap. I will have had a few mixed drinks, and then I will proceed to a Smirnoff Ice or another hard lemonade. After that, it is time for the trusty Woodchuck, followed by beers for the remainder of the night. I think I decided long ago that Woodchuck is in the beer category, therefore, you must not drink it until you are finished with any hard liquor you are planning on drinking (after all, beer then liquor, never been sicker).

My first taste of Woodchuck occurred at my 21st birthday party. My friend brought over a six-pack of bottles to my party, and I loved the stuff. Woodchuck is cider with that kick that alcohol adds to anything – you can taste the fact that it is not normal cider, but Woodchuck is certainly not apple cider with a shot of vodka. Although there is a hint of an aftertaste to Woodchuck, it is certainly not a bad sort of aftertaste. I just finished the bottle at my side, and although I can taste the cider, it is the sort of aftertaste that makes me want another bottle, rather than the sort of aftertaste that just lingers without purpose. In fact, let me go grab the last bottle left in the fridge.

Ah, the first sip of a cold Woodchuck. Excellent.

I cannot say that I am an alcohol expert. I rarely drank before my 21st birthday (I can count on one hand the times I drank before it was legal for me to do so) and I am barely 22 right now, but the 'Colonial' version of Woodchuck may very well be my favorite - it is not so apple tasting as other flavors, yet it does not taste like beer. This is a unique taste experience, and whether it is good or not is something you should judge on your own.

In my world, not only is Woodchuck great tasting, but drinking a bottle is a learning experience. For instance, reading my bottle right now, I see that settlers drank hard cider 350 years ago. Heck, the United States was not even a country then. In addition, Woodchuck provides nutritional facts on each bottle. You do not get that sort of attention to your health on a bottle of Corona, my good friend. My bottle also informs me that if I am pregnant, I should not be drinking this stuff. Also, if I am planning on driving, drinking is a very poor idea. As I said before, Woodchuck is a learning experience (although if you do not know either of these things, you are one slow cookie).

Perhaps the only thing better than Woodchuck in a bottle is Woodchuck on tap. There is a great little bar in Madison called the Come Back Inn with cider on tap – let me tell you, a frosty mug of cider is an experience you will come back for, again and again.

If you are drinking to get drunk (you little alcoholic), Woodchuck is not a good option. You will be full before you’re buzzing. However, after a few mixed drinks, Woodchuck is a nice way to ease into (relative) sobriety. And tonight, sitting in my apartment with my friends, writing on my computer, attempting to deal with a hot Chicago night in an apartment without air conditioning, I can think of nothing better than to grab a cold Woodchuck and drink up (except, of course, heading down to Comiskey Park with a couple of friends, downing a couple of cold brewskis and taking in a baseball game). I can recommend Woodchuck to anyone who is looking for a cold drink, yet does not want to get drunk, and anyone who does not want to drink either a beer or hard lemonade. Unless, of course, you are anyone under 21, then you are not supposed to be drinking. Grab a Coke, my friend, and find a fake ID. I must say that Woodchuck puts more of a dent in your wallet than Busch Light, but whatever it lacks in inexpensiveness it more than makes up for in taste. So grab a bottle, hit the backyard and have a good night.

P.S. - Mr. Woodchuck says you should drink up, too. And you do not want to disappoint Mr. Woodchuck, do you?

P.P.S. - I think I need to write reviews in a state closer to sobriety - I am not sure that I want to read this review tomorrow.

Recommended: Yes