My Painful, Disgusting Little Secret
Written: Mar 26 '07 (Updated Mar 26 '07)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Long-lasting relief, easy to use, effective, fast-acting, inexpensive...
Cons: Application can be messy...
The Bottom Line: There's no magic bullet for hemorrhoid relief...but this comes close.
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| JediKermit's Full Review: Wyeth Preparation H Hemorrhoidal Cream, Maximum St... |
Well, someone has to write the embarrassing reviews. I always though hemorrhoids were something to laugh about. Those commercials from about twenty years ago; “good news! The doctor says I don’t need surgery for my hemorrhoids!” always cracked me up. And now that I know the pain (and itching and burning) of those joyful little pustules myself—I want to know how to fix them.
I never had hemorrhoids until about six years ago—after having surgery, I developed them, and they haven’t completely gone away since then. Small sores right at the opening to the anus, they spend some time dormant, and then without warning or provocation will “flare up,” resulting in either itching or pain, leaving you miserable whether you’re sitting or standing. And that new bike you wanted to break out in this wonderful spring weather? Forget it.
So I needed to find a way to live with this unbearable and unmentionable problem. So far the best product I’ve found is the old standby—Preparation H, from Wyeth. They’re synonymous with hemorrhoid relief, and although I was both embarrassed and squeamish about using the ointment at first, it’s what’s relieved the discomfort best and fastest.
The 2 ounce tube of cream retails for about eight dollars, and is available at any drugstore and most major retailers. There’s a whole list of how the ointment will help with the hemorrhoid problem, but what I’ve seen with my own use is the following:
Instant Relief from the itching. There’s a mild topical anesthetic that cuts the edge off of the itching, which is often the worst symptom of hemorrhoids. Because you can’t live like those nasty apes with the enormous red butts. You just can’t. And really, the last thing you want to do is scratch that itch. It won’t make anything better. Just trust me on that one.
Prevents Chafing the lotion and lubricating action of the ointment lets your…cheeks slide against each other better so the friction of everyday activities (walking, standing, sitting, shifting gears in the car) won’t further aggravate your delicate condition.
Shrinkage of the hemorrhoids themselves. I’m not sure if they ever completely go away, but when they’re not flaring up, they’re easier to live with. I don’t use Preparation H daily, but I notice when I do use it that the affected area shrinks in size. Which in this case, is a good thing.
Long-Lasting effects…longer lasting than Tucks Medicated Pads or other alternatives I’ve found. One application in the morning and one at night are usually sufficient, and the anti-itch ingredient seems to keep on working much longer than the competition.
The active ingredients include: Glycerin 12%, Petrolatum 18%, Shark liver oil 3% and Phenylephrine HCI 0.25%.
Preparation H Cream is easy to use, once you get past the disgustingness of your situation. Just remember, your body is beautiful. Even your anus. I usually apply the cream just after my shower, when I’m at my cleanest…you want the surface to be as clean as possible for the cream to have the maximum effect. You can apply the cream up to four times daily without having adverse effects. There’s an applicator cap included with the tube of ointment, but honestly either toilet tissue or your finger (hey, they’re washable!) (I’m so grossing myself out right now) work just as well, and you’re probably more skilled at aiming those than the applicator cap. In any case, after you’ve applied the cream to the affected area, you’ll want to either dispose of or cleanse whatever you’ve used to apply the ointment thoroughly.
Learning how much of the ointment to dispense is a learned skill--if you don't use enough, well, you don't get the effect you were hoping for. But if you use too much, you'll have a wet, not-so-fresh feeling for the entire day. Try to find that balance, and you'll be good to go.
There are certain situations where you’d want to consult a doctor—for children under the age of 12, if you’re in continual pain for more than seven days, or if there’s rectal or severe hemorrhoidal bleeding. If you’re pregnant or breast feeding, you should ask your doctor before using this product, and for the love of all that’s holy, don’t eat the Preparation H.
As humiliating as it is to need Preparation H, I’m glad it’s there. It’s done more to relieve my symptoms than the home remedies and over the counter products I’ve tried. Hopefully some magical day my hemorrhoids will be gone. But until then, I’ve got my secret little tube.
Recommended:
Yes
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JediKermit
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Member: Quinn
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Reviews written: 1995
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Books, Movies, and Toys. Is there more to life?
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