Is "Euurgh" a Word?
Written: Mar 08 '08 (Updated Mar 08 '08)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Kids like them, they're not nearly as nutritionally disastrous as some other treats.
Cons: I can't bear the texture or the flavors.
The Bottom Line: I guess I recommend these for kids who want their yogurt spoonless, spineless, and sweet. Good summer snacks frozen.
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| Trawma's Full Review: Yoplait Go Gurt Melon Berry & Cotton Candy Portabl... |
My son was a very picky eater for a long, long time. There was a stretch there where, if it wasn’t a French fry, a chicken nugget, a pancake, or a piece of fruit, he wouldn’t touch it. He would, quite literally, gag at us if we brought anything new or different near his face. I look at his munch mouth parents and I wonder how on earth that could have come about?
Strangely, he took to yogurt pretty quickly. I think it was the fruit in the bottom. But the yogurt love began to wan after a while, and that could not happen—see, at the time, he wouldn’t touch milk except in cereal (and cheese is evil in his world). So it was important that I keep something with a bit of calcium in it in his diet.
Enter Yoplait Go-Gurt. He asked for these—he’d seen a commercial. I’d never heard of them, but I jumped on it, picking up for him as many flavor combinations as I could find. For this review, we’ve settled upon the Burstin’ Melon Berry and Cool Cotton Candy combo pack, a new one for him . Understand, it’s not the two flavors that are combined, but rather a box that contains four of each flavor.
Yoplait Go-Gurt comes in 64 gram, long and skinny, soft plastic tubes that are easy to open when thawed, but can require teeth or scissors to rip the plastic when frozen. Once open, just squeeze the stuff into your mouth. The exterior of the tube is covered with riddles, games, online codes, and other silliness—perfect for kids.
Right up front, I admit it—the very idea of Cool Cotton Candy flavored YOGURT horrifies me. I admit, I’m something of a purist—I still want my fruit on the bottom. Cool Cotton Candy? Euurgh.
Since these are for my son, I’ll taste and review them, but I’ll get his input, too. Perhaps my jaded, old lady mouth just can’t give these things their proper due, right?
Burstin’ Melon Berry
My opinion? Pink and horrifying. A strong, ultra-sweet, fake watermelon flavor with a weird sort of tart undertone. The texture is awful—what I imagine chilled, whipped lard in a tube might feel like. My son’s opinion? At first it’s a bit too sweet, but it settles into something he really likes, with the watermelon flavor reminding him of Watermelon Jolly Ranchers.
Cool Cotton Candy
In my opinion, this bright blue one blows the first out of the water on the sweetness front. My face nearly sucked in on itself and disappeared, it’s so sweet. It has the same horrid texture. It really does taste a little like cotton candy, in a frightening, other-dimensional way. Like how cotton candy might taste in hell, you know? My son? He just asked where he should put the rest of the tube if he hates it. He says it’s awful, reminds him of plastic Halloween costumes. That’s all I could get out of him. You work that one out for yourself, just as I will . . . I hope.
One small note on the flavors—if you freeze these, the flavors are less intense.
Nutritionally speaking, Yoplait Go-Gurt comes in at 70 calories per tube, which isn’t bad for a snack. With 1% of the Daily Value for fat, 1% for cholesterol, and 1% for sodium, it’s not painful, and it has only 10 grams of sugar. Nutrient-wise, these tubes have 6% of the DV for Vitamins A , D, and phosphorus, 4% of the DV for riboflavin, and 10% of the DV for Calcium. Not a wowser punch there, but not bad for a 70 calorie snack.
A look at the ingredients list tells me why the texture is so off-putting to me—this product contains modified corn starch, Kosher gelatin, and tricalcium phosphate (also known as “bone ash”). Flavor-wise, the inclusion of sugar and high fructose corn syrup would explain the mega-sweetness.
In all, *I* think that Yoplait Go-Gurts Burstin’ Melon Berry and Cool Cotton Candy flavors are horrendous. I really do, I’m deeply offended by this product. But, Cool Cotton Candy aside, my son swears by them, and I guess that’s really the bottom line. These things are, quite obviously, geared to kids, and kids seem to like them most of the time. I wouldn’t call these nutritional winners in my book, but they’re also not nearly as disastrous as some snacks, and they can be nicely frozen for the hot summer months. So I guess I recommend these to the kids out there. The adults? Squeeze one of those babies at your own risk.
Recommended:
Yes
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