A garlic press which violates the laws of thermodynamics!!!
Written: Jul 24 '02 (Updated Jul 30 '02)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: designed perfectly, little wasted garlic, much happiness for the user
Cons: press area is pretty small, could be bigger
The Bottom Line: Why would someone write a review about a garlic press? Only if it was the greatest garlic press EVER!
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| Tibullus's Full Review: Zyliss Susi Deluxe Garlic Press |
Let me start this off quickly and directly with a good old declaratory statement. I am in no way, shape or form exaggerating when I say that the Zyliss garlic press is the greatest garlic press ever (that's right... starting off strong, now just keep it going)
Now, if anybody had told me that a garlic press would ever get my attention and impress me to such a degree that I would actually write a review about it, I most likely would have laughed at them and made all sorts of derogatory remarks in their general direction (but they would have been really funny ones). However, it appear as if I would be eating my own words, or crow, or garlic (oh the hilarity, stop it... stop it now!!), as the Zyliss garlic press has come out and slapped me upside the head with its sleek and efficient design, which actually facilitates (please, hold your breath), pressing garlic.
In any sense, without further adieu, lets get to the review of this garlic press, so that you can stop wasting your time with the other inferior garlic presses (that's right... gettin' snooty with the garlic presses, bring it!!!).
The already too late introductory paragraph
Start them off easy, perhaps a joke, or something to break the ice, perhaps a related anecdote
This whole ordeal started a good while back, when my garlic press (a garlic press, which I thought was quite good, of the Michael Graves line from Target), broke into two pieces mid press (leaving me without my loved pressed garlic for the meal I was cooking, and at the same time without a garlic press). The ensuing search for a new garlic press took me through no less than 3 presses, all of which found some way to get me mad. Hence, one could look at the Zyliss garlic press as the one that didn't piss me off, or one could look at it as the press that had the superior design, or even as the object of a not quite mentally balanced individual bent on having the maximum amount of garlic in his everyday consumption, without much effort. The method of travel down this path is left as an exercise for the reader.
As is easy to tell, I've spent a good deal of time (far too much, in fact) thinking about the different aspects of garlic presses. I feel a need to elucidate you on the issues, so for now, lets take a gander at the different parts of a garlic press that one might find interesting...
Points of interest tour around a Garlic Press
Alternate Title: If you look out the left window, you will see...
There are but three major functional parts of a garlic press that are really of any consequence. There is the place in which you put the garlic, there are the holes through which the garlic is pushed, and finally there are the handles, which are squeezed so as to push the garlic through the holes. Let's take a rundown of the different features in the Zyliss:
Garlic Containment Unit: This is perhaps the area in which the Zyliss fails the most, and perhaps why it took me so long to get to it in the first place. In comparison with other presses out there, the garlic capacity of the Zyliss is paltry, much like the comparison in cargo space between a Ferarri and a Subaru Forester. Where in other presses you could possibly fit about 2 or 3 cloves into the containment area, you are luck to get a larger clove into the Zyliss unit. I have found ways around this by simply cutting the cloves into smaller pieces, which is a little bit more work, but works in the long run. If there were but one thing to change about the Zyliss, it would be to give it a larger capacity, but I hesitate to imagine the massive engineering work involved in such an endeavor {insert shudder here}. Grade: C+ or possibly even a B- if I'm playing favorites (which I always am).
Garlic Separation Unit: As a name for the wholes through which garlic is pressed are lacking, I will attribute an appropriate technical sounding name. One would think that there is very little consequence of this, and I really can't prove any statements that I make in this regard, but I do believe that the holes in the Zyliss are a bit smaller than the ones in other presses. What does this actually mean? Longer strands of thinner garlic? A larger amount of force required to spit the garlic forth? I really can't say, so I'll just leave this section without a grade.
Leverage Unit: This is perhaps the area where most garlic presses just fail. For some reason, someone out there decided that in order for the press to look good, the two levers of the press should meet, henceforth all garlic presses have been design with handles that meet. This is a serious problem as you will eventually come to a point where you can no longer apply any pressure to the garlic press and hence you will not be able to get all of the garlic out. This is where the Zyliss engineers shine. They discovered the little known fact that if you are unable to push any further, you are also unable to force more garlic through the press. With a simple redesign, which seems to have evaded any other garlic press designer, the Zyliss is able to push the garlic through with maximum efficiency. Grade: A++++++
Beauty and Design: While it doesn't really affect the functionality (unless of course, the designers should decide to take performance hits in the name of looking good -- (**cough**, **hint**, **cough**, **hint**)), it never hurts to have a good looking garlic press. The Zyliss shines here again, providing an interesting alternative to the usual look of garlic presses, by being quite sleek and exquisite in its design. Form and function in one convenient little package... can you say yum? Grade: A
Points of Utility: (aka -- the section where I feel like a game show announcer) For all you baseball purists out there, hide behind a couch or something, because the construction of this unit is a pure aluminum alloy (they're ruining the game I tell you, ruining it!!!), which is accentuated with a non-stick coating which provides for its all too easy cleanup (more reasons to love it... aaaaaahhhh!!! Run away, its going to be running for office soon). Finally, the most important fact for those lazy pressers out there, it is completely dishwasher safe. Grade: A
Concluding Remarks
Alternative Title: This garlic press is the greatest press EVER and should be regarded as such and worshipped in some small sects for its greatness.
There are very few things left for me to say about this wondrous device. It is beautiful, it is wonderful, and it pressed garlic like only masters can press garlic (its almost too easy.. with just 3 easy payments of $19.95 you too could become a professional garlic presser). As I can see myself beginning to ramble, I will draw to a close.
However, there is but one more piece of allegorical evidence that I shall give to this presses wondrous powers. I personally believe that I now get more garlic for my buck than I used to. Ever since I started using the Zyliss, the amount of garlic produced from pressing two or three cloves seems to be more than it was before. Have I started buying larger cloves of garlic? I don't think so. Is this press just more efficient and gets more garlic out? That can't be it. Does this garlic press produce garlic from nothing, and thus violate all sorts of physical laws like the Law of Thermodynamics? Yes... that must be it...
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
Tibullus
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Member: Marc Chapman
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Reviews written: 69
Trusted by: 76 members
About Me:
Sometimes I like to look up and smile for the satellite pictures.
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