Learn about your relationship and each other in All About Us
Written: Apr 09 '05
Product Rating:
Pros: Gives you a chance to take an honest look at one another
Cons: If you're both honest in answering, none
The Bottom Line: If you are in a relationship and you both want to learn more about one another and your relationship, you should considering picking up a copy of All About Us
Are you looking for an entertaining way to find out more about you and your partner and the relationship that you have. If you are, then you should check out Philipp Keel’s book, All About Us
By making both of you answer questions about yourself, about your relationship and about each other, you learn a bit more about what makes each other tick and what you both see as the positives and negatives in your relationship.
I wouldn’t look at this book so much as a fix for a relationship, but as a tool for each of you to get to know one another better and to see possibly, where you both might need to put in some more effort into your relationship. People already on the rocks in their relationship probably won’t get much out of the book – I’d imagine it would turn into a slamfest eventually.
Book Basics
This book is a collection of questions that both you and your partner answer when you are together. There’s no text beyond those questions and the answers to the questions are what cause you and your partner to think about each other and the relationship. I found that almost every question led a discussion between each of us and that was the best thing that we both got out of the book.
All About Us is broken down into 22 chapters that each tackle a specific aspect of either your relationship, or the two of you individually. These questions focus on the partners’ histories, how they came to be together and what they love about one another.
The remaining 21 chapters hit just about every aspect of a relationship, from its current status, to children and to the long run, questions that you probably both have about each other and your relationship are in the book. The specific sections include: Here and Now; Favorites; Before Us; Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs; Uncomfortable Moments; Kids and Us; Gone with the Wind; Yes or No; The Absolute Truth; Time Off; The Little Things; Sex & Company; Playtime; Issues and Us; Neuroses; All Things Considered; Face It; The Long Run; and Happy Hour.
The questions run from fun and playful to serious and hard-hitting. There are the typical questions like ‘what do you find most appealing physically about your partner,’ but there are tougher questions like ‘when was the last time you thought it might be nice to be single again?’
You’ll find that some of the questions are easy to answer while others will make you squirm and you’ll probably feel uncomfortable answering them in front of your partner. Others might make you think and wonder about your partner. That’s the point though, the book makes it easier to be honest with each other and to be honest about your relationship together.
The book’s main value is in completing it together, not having one partner go and answer the questions, and then the other taking the book and completing it. By going through question by question, each person in the relationship gets an honest look at their partner and themselves and can see how each response effects the both of them.
The book doesn’t serve much purpose if each person in the relationship completes it separately, then neither one of them really learns much about the other because I personally think that the majority of the impact of the book is watching one another while you are completing it. When you fill it out apart chances are you won’t get to experience those responses in your partner, though for some people, they may find it easier to be honest when their partner isn’t around. Besides that point though (and why shouldn’t you be able to be honest in front of the person you love), I’d suggest that you complete the book together, it makes the experience infinitely better.
This book is written from the perspective of a heterosexual relationship, but it is quite easy to adjust it for both lesbian and gay relationships.
Experiences
We took All About Us on a car-trip with us last year and spent the better part of the time we were driving completing this book. Whoever wasn’t driving asked the question and filled in the answers.
Let me tell you, it was an enlightening trip. I think it was probably the longest stretch of time when both of us really took an honest look at our relationship. There were times I really didn’t want to answer a question or didn’t like an answer that my partner was giving.
Though by the time we got to the very last question (what is your next goal in life), we both had a better understanding of where we were coming from. We both learned a few things (mostly things we didn’t like about one another or found annoying) and we both came away with a better understanding of our relationship as a whole.
It was kind of funny – at the time we had been together for just about 7 years and through the book, we both learned a few things about one another that neither of us had known before.
We both still refer back to the book in some discussions and a few times we’ve pulled it out of the dark recesses of our bookshelf (this is not a book you’d probably want anyone outside the relationship to see) and go through and see how we responded to the questions. It was definitely a positive experience and I think it was something we’re both glad that we did.
Final Thoughts
If you are in a relationship and you both want to learn more about one another and your relationship, you should considering picking up a copy of All About Us. Through its collection of questions, you’ll get a better understanding of why you love one another, what makes both of you tick and you’ll probably learn a thing or two about your partner you didn’t know beforehand.
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