Eureka!

Ladies and gentlemen, I have a discovery to announce. After years of searching and wading through the muck of offensively mediocre Christian music, I have finally hit the mother lode. You can forget about that copy of Plus One's The Promise that you bought during the teenybopper craze. You can give the new version of SonicFlood a rest. And you can throw out those vapid Kutless CD's that your church's high school group so heartily recommended. Because I've got a real doozy here. I've found a Christian music compilation that nobody could possibly enjoy. Regardless of your age, your taste in music, or your ability to turn a blind eye to poor songwriting, I can pretty much guarantee that somewhere within the 12 tracks on this disc, your eardrums will be thoroughly offended.

And you know what the kicker is? This is a collection of songs inspired by the movie The Passion of the Christ. You know, the cinematic debacle that came out earlier this year, where the death of Jesus Christ is depicted in a soberingly graphic nature. A film that, for the Christians who saw it, was meant to evoke strong emotions and a renewed realization of the gravity of that sacrifice. Personally, I didn't see the movie, but I respected Mel Gibson and his crew for making it. I think it's easy, as a modern American Christian, to maintain a safe and sanitized view of Jesus's death, and to not really grasp the gravity of what was accomplished there. Naturally, a lot of singers and songwriters who were Christians saw this movie (many of them attending pre-screenings and discussing it with Mel Gibson in person), and it shouldn't come as a surprise that several of them were inspired to write songs about it. And I have no problem with that. In the hands of a talented writer, some poignant and emotionally gripping songs can be written on the subject - and some certainly have throughout the history of Christian music.

So what's my problem, then? Well, it's a twofold issue. First of all, there's the more surface issue of continuity. This Wind-Up records release, creatively titled The Passion of the Christ: Songs aims for diversity by bringing together artists from several different genres, but once it's got them all in the same place, it doesn't have a clue as to how their songs should be organized for maximum impact. This guarantees that rock fans will suffer from acute whiplash as the mood suddenly shifts to country/western, R&B and Gospel fans will be perplexed by the rough tone and even occasional screaming of some of the rock singers (and then they'll be hit up with a watered down version of the style they're looking for), and radio-happy pop fans will find it to be more of a mixed bag overall than the Mandy Moore and Switchfoot-driven soundtrack for A Walk to Remember. Who in their right mind would try to put P.O.D., Steven Curtis Chapman, Kirk Franklin, Lauryn Hill, BeBe Winans, Charlotte Church, and MxPx on the same CD? Okay, so that actually sounds similar to something I might do... but I sure as heck would pay attention to the transitions between styles instead of just randomly throwing the songs on there. As it stands, this collection feels like Wind-Up Records grabbed whatever recognizable names they could to get this thing together as fast as possible, and then they threw in a few contrived offerings from their very own Big Dismal (who mysteriously appears twice on this record), as well as the much-anticipated (and much-feared) solo debut of Creed's Scott Stapp. If none of this manages to hurt your ears, then you're a stronger individual than I.

But you know, I could set aside all stylistic complaints if this were a collection of genuinely good songs. I'd consider it a refreshing change from the norm, actually. Unfortunately, the vast majority of songs on this album are problematic on a much deeper level. To be honest, I'm hearing precious little other than wall-to-wall triteness. Amateur songwriting, vague Hallmark card sentiments about "love", feel-good catch phrases... these things are apparently intended to convey some sort of a poignant message about Jesus Christ. I don't know about you, but I don't just find that annoying, I find it offensive. Of course Jesus taught us some extremely valuable things about how to love other people, but I see very little of that wisdom as the driving force behind these songs. In its place, I see the generic language of superhero comics and giddy teen love stories. That would be tolerable on your average pop or rock album, where the subject matter may not be intended to have any real measure of depth. But when presented on an album like this, it's just unacceptable.

So, what it basically boils down to is that we've got a scattered handful of decent songs here, separated by a wasteland of generic lovey-dovey stuff. There's no grit. No shocking revelations. No sense of power or awe or wonder. For the most part, these songs are just perpetuating the problem that necessitated the film being made in the first place - they sanitize Jesus. Any careful listener is probably going to be offended by that, and as for all of the casual listeners who would pick this up just hoping to get a little pick-me-up from a catchy tune or two that has the J-word in it... well, they'll be hitting the skip button out of annoyance at some of the stylistic choices far too frequently to make their purchase worthwhile.

If what I've said so far isn't enough to make you run screaming in the other direction, I'll do my best to dissect this madness song by song, and point out the few redeemable moments contained within.

I See Love
In what resembles a rockier version of the City on a Hill worship albums, three of Christian music's heavy-hitters come busting out of the gates on the first track - Third Day, Steven Curtis Chapman, and Bart Millard, lead singer of MercyMe. SCC, Bart, and Third Day singer Mac Powell trade off lead vocals on this electric guitar-driven track, which has a punchy intro, but soon degenerates into melodically predictable CCM radio fare. While the collaboration is an intriguing idea (and each of the three acts had a hand in writing the track), it honestly sounds to me like more of a record label's bright idea to get people's attention rather than a vocal blend that brings out the best in each singer. SCC's lead on the second chorus sounds especially out of place, which is disappointing since he's done capable rock songs in the past. Bart and Mac, with their more noticeable accents, are a better fit for the style. As far as lyrical content goes, this one is decent, describing how a lot of other people have viewed Jesus throughout history (a good teacher, a crackpot, a crazy dreamer, etc.), and then simply stating "But I see love" in the too-easy chorus. The song is more specific about the importance of Christ's resurrection, not just His death, and while it seems like the kind of thing that would fit better later in the album, it's not a bad start. I like the trailing line that SCC inserts at the end of the song: "Some see him walking from an empty grave".

Relearn Love
Here's the moment of truth. If you ever wanted to know what Scott Stapp sounded like without Creed, well then you'll get your wish here. A song that Scott was already composing for his son is presented here, and it's kind of been added to this soundtrack ad hoc, if you ask me. It's a nice enough sentiment - being at a state of brokenness and humility and realizing that you don't know how to effectively love the people around you - but it's not specific at all in terms of being directed to his son, or to Jesus, or to really anyone other than a generic you. (And that should be nothing new for Creed fans - not that I expect all professing Christians to use the J-word all the time, but the lack of context is really frustrating here.) Scott's rough post-grunge voice is certainly an odd fit with the more acoustic musical framework here (he's got a Canadian band called The Tea Party backing him up), and his usual slurring hinders the impact of the words about here (the title gets enunciated as something like "relearn laaaarve"). But what's really odd is how this song seems to jump around stylistically. One minute it's mellow and acoustic, the next it's 80's guitar rock (complete with a melody line during the bridge that sounds eerily similar to something from a Believable Picnic song), and then Scott's up to his old post-grunge vocal shredding again. Give me a break, Scott. If this is what your solo debut's gonna sound like, then I think I'll go listen to Alter Bridge or something.

Truly Amazing
Next at bat is P.O.D., and their contribution is honestly no surprise, coming on the heels of the lukewarm Payable on Death album. I think P.O.D. figures that if they keep writing melodic songs in 3/4 time, they'll eventually come up with something else as cool as "Sleeping Awake". (Which isn't even their best song, but it beats anything on their last album, and almost everything on their last album beats this.) Get this - their supposed ode to Jesus ends up personifying "Amazing" as a woman, and inviting her to "shine down your love". Sonny Sandoval sounds off-key here, as he does during pretty much every live performance, and that turns what should be a soaring chorus into a grating one. He approaches screaming during the bridge, which I guess is par for the course for P.O.D., but it really doesn't fit in such a wimpy song. The most amusingly bad moment comes during the second verse, when Sonny informs us "I wish she could meet you, but if you don't have the time, she might run off and hide." Once again, Sonny, I have to ask... Are you serious?

New Again
Ready for the first ill-conceived stylistic shift? After three tepid rock songs, it's now time for a country ballad. Specifically, a duet between Brad Paisley and Sara Evans, in which he plays Jesus and she plays Mary. Initially, the chips seem to be stacked against this song due to how inappropriately placed it is and the fact that I have a tough time picturing Jesus as a cowboy with a Western accent, but we'll let all that go. This is actually a decently endearing little ballad, in which Jesus is trying to reassure Mary that there will be a purpose for His death. It sounds a bit schmaltzy, but I think that both singers have enough genuineness to pull it off. (It helps that the music is closer to real country than bland country-pop.) The song clearly gets its inspiration from a quotable line used in the movie, and as Mary prays for her boy to be spared, the question she poses to God is intriguingly phrased: "God, how can this be Your will, to have Your son and my son killed?" Chalk this one up as the album's first winner.

Rainy Day
I like Big Dismal. They're pretty much a vague, radio-ready grunge-pop band that ran the risk of becoming a Creed clone at first, but they're fun. I don't think the band's debut sold as well as Wind-Up had hoped, hence the aggressive promotion by giving the band two songs here, but we'll ignore that. Lead singer Eric Durrance seems to be making a good effort to shed the Creed comparisons, as his voice has some noticeable twang to it, and the melody is much less modern rock and more of a breezy, adult rock style. Ultimately, what starts off as promising ends up being a disappointment, though, since Big Dismal's new direction leads them into overproduction and mediocrity. Eric is singing about being able to see Jesus (or at least I assume it's Jesus - it could be any old relative who has passed away or just somebody on Earth whom he's fond of) in the clouds, and wanting Him to come back and save him from a rainy day. This song is just cliché on so many levels, that it's not even funny. I realize that it may be a reference to the darkening of the sky when Jesus died, but since the Bible also records an earthquake and gives an overall sense of creation's reaction being a tad more violent, the song really kind of deflates any sense of gratitude or wonder that one would feel upon realizing that Christ's resurrection has made a way for them to be saved. While Big Dismal is a band of Christians, "religious" songs are clearly not their strong point.

The Passion
I'll bet all you Lauryn Hill fans out there are really excited to finally get a new studio recording from her. OK, so it's just one song, but still, since you've never received a proper follow-up to her Miseducation album, you've gotta be foaming at the mouth right now. Well, wipe up your drool and save it for another day, because all we've got here is Lauryn doing a muted five-minute vamp of a shell of a song. Seriously, I think this woman needs her head checked. Her cry for social justice, ("If they'd only showed love they owed love, owed love, like this before", etc.) is drawn out over slow, repetitive verses for the better part of six minutes. There's no chorus, no shift in structure at all. Worst of all, she sounds like she forgot to record a lead vocal part, and she's just singing backup for nobody. Her voice is strangely muted, with the most prominent element being a random snippet of percussion that keeps jumping out, almost as if this song is trapped in a box and banging away from the inside, trying desperately to get out. I have no one to blame for that but Lauryn, since she produced herself here. What starts off as mildly pleasant becomes more like Chinese water torture by the time five minutes have gone by.

How Many Lashes
Leave it to Kirk Franklin to come up with a song that is specific, personal, innovative in its arrangement, and ultimately quite satisfying. That's a real compliment coming from me, because I'm no fan of Kirk's. I find him annoying 99% of the time, because I hate how he just talks and shouts all over his songs while everyone else does all of the actual singing. But here, oddly enough, his formula works for me. I was very turned off by this song at first, to be honest, since he introduces it by telling us what year it is (are you a rapper now, Kirk?) and then he goes into his usual spoken-word shtick, but actually, his assessment of how he felt upon viewing the movie is rather poignant. Over a repetitive, slightly jazzy piano riff and some lovely backing vocals from Gospel singer Yolanda Adams, Kirk comes to realize that each of the lashes Jesus received were for his sins - and yours, mine, and everyone else's. While his word choice is a bit awkward in some places (like when he goes into detail about a chick he slept with out of wedlock and drugs and stuff), he continually brings it back to a central meaning for the chorus, where he whispers, "Lash #1", "Lash #2", etc. as Yolanda delivers the confessional hook. Kirk even gets in some sobering remarks near the end of the song about how we give Jesus a shout-out at the Grammys and a song on a B-side or something like that, but betray Him by our actions. He's on fire here, because he knows that he's indicting himself. One small nitpick, though - during the first verse, he mentions the confused reaction of a small girl who is watching the movie with her mother - "Mommy, why'd they hurt Jesus?" Now I'm sorry, but what kind of idiot brings a kid that age to watch a brutally violent R-rated film?

The Empire
OK, this is random. MxPx, a pop-punk band whose original roots where in the Christian rock underground, teams up with Blink 182's Mark Hoppus for a somewhat cryptic song about the resurrection of Christ. Yep, you heard that right. BLINK 182. I love the swingy beat to this one (which they fool around with a little bit, temporarily making it 4/4 and then changing back again) Mike Herrera's lyrics are actually rather intriguing - on the one hand, he seems to be expressing a desire to know the suffering Jesus went through, and on the other hand, he seems baffled by the purpose of this death and resurrection - "You're the empire, the rebellion, but why?" In a way, it mirrors the skeptical reaction of the disciple Thomas upon seeing Jesus alive and asking to see the holes in His hands. I've never been big on MxPx, but this track, as much of a fish out of water as it may be, is probably the best thing on this project.

Finding My Own Way
So, Charlotte Church is going pop now? I shouldn't be surprised, since she basically pulled a Mandy Moore on us with last year's film I'll Be There. Sorry, but I'm just not convinced that her voice works in this setting. I'm especially confounded by her presence here, singing a breezy pop song about being herself and doing her own thing. I expect this kind of schmaltz on Top 40-wannabe pop records, but tell me, what in the world does this have to do with The Passion of the Christ? "Oh gee, Jesus, that was nice that You died for me and stuff, now I'm gonna go find my own way, see You around!" It's perhaps the most insultingly bad moment on the album. This track has absolutely no excuse for being here. Kirk Franklin had a line in his song that really stung - "We'll call You when we need You, when all other options are gone." Charlotte seems to be affirming that statement as a good thing here, and that's not good at all.

Miracle of Love
Well, I don't know about you, but for me, nothing quite sums up Christ's passion like a warmed-over slab of suburban R&B! That's pretty much what BeBe Winans and Angie Stone have to offer here - a song that strikes me as being about as urban as Kenny G. is jazz. (Speaking of false jazz, they threw a sound into their inane chorus that sounds like a cheap Casio imitating a saxophone.) I guess I've never been a huge fan of BeBe, either solo or when he was still singing with CeCe, largely because their sanitized, sugary brand of vaguely R&B-based pop rotted my teeth. This song sounds like it's as much on auto-pilot as your average CCM radio hit, it does absolutely nothing for me, and I dare say it sounds like it should be on an album for retired couples to play during a quiet romantic dinner, not on an "inspired by" soundtrack for an emotionally gripping movie.

To Give Love
Taking us back into pop/rock territory is Tonic bassist Dan Lavery (not exactly a big name - Wind-Up must've been running short on either options or time), with a solo offering that reminds us "To give love, is to get love, alright." Gee, thanks, Dan - I think I learned that one in Sunday school. I know nothing about this guy other than a few of his band's radio hits from many years ago, but he definitely sounds like he's clueless as a songwriter without his band, because his song is wall-to-wall clichés, and his smooth vocal approach (think inoffensive, breezy Top 40 rock like Gin Blossoms or Vertical Horizon) isn't nearly enough to make this song memorable in any way.

Reason I Live
At long last, the end. Here we get Big Dismal again, because you know, their second song is so much more poignant and gripping than their first. Nope, sorry, it's more of the same. They're doing a piano ballad; I guess that's different for them. But you can guess exactly where the song is going from its title - that's right, straight into bland Hoobastank territory, minus anything remotely musically interesting. I guess they decided that they needed to have their own equivalent of Kutless's "Grace and Love" or something. That's what this is, and it's a dull ending to a frustratingly bad compilation.

Honestly, this whole project - and most every product that's come bearing the words "Passion" and "Christ", for that matter - reeks of bandwagon-jumping. That Wind-Up could collect this particular grouping of artists and even facilitate some of the interesting pairings here is commendable, but to what end? Should we feel OK using star power to sell Jesus when we can't even rely on the strength of the things we actually have to say about the guy? I think that's a poor strategy, personally, and it makes for the worst album I've heard so far this year. If artists want to be "seeker-sensitive" and sing about more general lessons of love instead of specifically about Jesus Christ, that's honestly fine with me. (I prefer specific to vague, but whatever, go do your thing.) But to do it on an album that's supposed to be specifically about the last days of Jesus... it just makes me livid.

If I haven't made this abundantly clear already, DO NOT BUY THIS RECORD. If you're searching for an intriguing artistic treatment of the last days of Christ's life, and His death and resurrection, you'll do quite well to seek out Cindy Morgan's album The Loving Kind. And you can top that off with a listen to Third Day's amazing song "Thief". There's just no need to settle for vagueness when honest and poignant reflections on these events can easily be found.

ALBUM WORTH:
I See Love $.50
Relearn Love $0
Truly Amazing $0
New Again $1.50
Rainy Day $.50
The Passion -$.50
How Many Lashes $1.50
The Empire $1.50
Finding My Own Way -$1
Miracle of Love -$1
To Give Love -$.50
Reason I Live $0
TOTAL: $2.50

Website: http://www.thepassionofthechrist.com

Recommended: No