Son, we need to talk.

Sometimes, as an avid album collector and listener, I tend to lose touch with the music that I listen to from time to time. So much of it goes in and out of my ears that a great deal of it becomes suddenly forgettable and indistinguishable from the millions of other notes and melodies that come into contact with my eardrums. So when I come across an artist that I really, truly love, I tend to treat that musician as if they were my baby. That’s the case with you, Jack.

Since the first time I was introduced to you in 2005 via In Between Dreams and throughout the many backtrackings of your catalogue, I’ve been a caring and nurturing parent. I have supported you in any way that I can; purchasing your albums, DVDs, posters, talking you up to all of my friends and acquaintances, et cetera, et cetera. Jack, you are my baby boy.

…And that’s why this is so hard.

Jack, I think we need to have a little talk about this latest album of yours. How do I say this? I understand your interest in writing some songs for a soundtrack, because you’ve done it in the past with Thicker Than Water and The September Sessions. And I loved those! Really, they were great. I can even understand doing it for Curious George, because, well, it’s Curious George. What’s not to love about that damn cute little monkey and a guy with a big yellow hat? And I always told you how your light, mellow sound would speak lovely to children. But, what’s that old expression? Hindsight is twenty-twenty?

Let me get to the point here. Son, it’s not that I don’t like your friends; in fact, some of them are really quite nice. I just think they’re a bad influence on you. Any time that you wanted to spend time with Ben, or Matt, or even that G. Love fella, I never said a word. It was nice to see that you had so many friends who shared a common interest. I just don’t want you turning into Carlos Santana. You need to realize that it’s okay to keep doing things by yourself. So, let’s start there.

I remember hearing that same strumming pattern that you play in Upside Down somewhere before. A few wheres, actually. That fun, bouncy rhythm has been used time and time again--"Mudfootball," "Flake," "Bubble Toes"--and now here it is once more. I honestly don't mind you using it, so long as it’s in moderation. That's the key. Anyways, eventually I got over the redundancy and I started to enjoy the heck right out of that song. When it was over, I thought “that’s my Jack.” You’ve always had this gift of making my mind feel like it was on a paid-vacation on a tropical island while my body was stuck sitting in a desk chair at work. I hope you don't feel uncomfortable with what I'm about to say, but darn it, I’m going to say it anyways: you’re the sunshine on my shoulders. And it hurts me to see you waste your potential like this.

It’s odd, Jack, but with this CD being geared towards a younger audience as well as your established fans, you seem to have far fewer feel-good songs on it than would be expected. With the possible exception of On and On, this may be your most melancholy album to date. Broken and Wrong Turn might be your typical downhearted Jack Johnson tunes, but Lullaby, With My Own Two Hands, and Supposed To Be are just plain depressing. Why is that? Is there something that you need to talk to me about? Because I’m here if you need me.

It’s not that I don’t think they have their place in an album; I just don’t see how they fit into THIS album, which is about a curious little cartoon monkey. Even though Jungle Gym, The Sharing Song, and The 3 R’s are downright mind-numbingly babyish, at least they fit into the context of what the soundtrack should be. Oddly enough, your cover of the White Stripes’ We’re Going to be Friends is one of the most appropriately-placed songs off the entire album. But don’t get me wrong, I love your songwriting. I just was expecting something a little bit…different from you.

From where I stand, People Watching and Talk of the Town are right up there with some of the catchiest songs you’ve ever written. The melodies are pure and uncluttered and not only that, but your voice fits amazingly with them. I’ve never been prouder of you than when listening to these songs. I turn my radio up extra loud when they come on the radio.

I would love to say that about this album in general, Jack, but unfortunately I just can’t bring myself to do it. Maybe it's that you were too concentrated on your friends getting their chances to shine, or maybe it's something else entirely. I don't know.

It’s not that I’m upset, I’m just disappointed. But you know that I’ll always be behind you, right? Any time you need a friend, or advice, or someone to buy your live double album, I’ll be right here for you.


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