"A concourse? I'll be able to drive a number of sport luxury vehicles like an insane clown without fear of tickets and fines in the relative safety of a racetrack? Of course I'll be there!"

And so ended my telephone invitation to fun just after I posted my last Epinion (yesterday's horrible MCI nightmare). It was a brilliant stroke of fate. I was to be thrust from fustration and malaise to elation and excitement in a matter of minutes. I was invited to one of the Mid-Atlantic region's most capable raceways for a hands-on demonstration and comparison between luxury sport cars. I was there in a flash.

About fifty other people were also invited and were able to attend. Of the available vehicles, all sport-luxury sedans in the $30-35k price range, the y2K BMW 328i sedan seemed to be the most eagerly awaited tester.

I waited my turn, took my seat, adjusted my seatbelt and mirrors, and proceeded to invoke the spirit of Ed Norton as I attempted to adjust the firm-but-comfortable leather seating to my ergonomic comfort. Although the electronic seat adjustment was smooth, silent and postionable in myriads of motions, I couldn't find my sweet spot. Although my back was supported, as were my upper legs, the lower dash insisted on it's intrusion of the space required by my right knee. The interior was well appointed and well laid out, but my business foot was feeling limited -- reaching too far to the middle (almost directly under the steering wheel shaft) to apply the brake and accelerator comfortably.

Other than this annoyance, I also experienced a bit of deja-vu. Was I sitting in a BMW or an Audi? The BMW emblem which stared at me from the center of the steering wheel like an eternal advertisement or a single beaming eyeball reminded me that this was a BMW. I broke the hypnotic gaze of this cyclopean BMW banner and engaged my gears.

On the first turn it was apparent that the BMW conveyed a sense of weight from the driver's shoulders and up. Perhaps this was an illusion, but it spoke to me of a high center of gravity which marred my confidence around the turns.

Acceleration was capable, but the engine issued a louder groan under my abuse than I excepcted from a vehicle in the mid $30k US range as I pummeled it past the 30mph speed limit sign at 40-50 in the limited first leap provided by the course design. I was well beyond the pop-up obstacles by the time they popped up.

The slalom was a breeze, with the rear wheel drive displaying the benefits of a well-controlled rear-wheeler with exceptionable breakability. The cones on the slalom were never threatened; nor did I feel they posed a threat to me. The high-gravity, side-to-side rock annoyed me again, 'tho.

Brake test. Fine. Excellent, in fact. What you'd expect for the sticker.

Sand pit acceleration and turn. The Bavarian-style rear wheeling whipped around in a fun, joy-ride skid and jaunt. I was really expecting somewhat better handling in this situation. For a handful of nanoseconds, I thought that the vehicle had wrestled control of the situation from me. I would have preferred to remian in full control. I worried that my concourse credentials would be revoked; but no cones were killed and the car remained firmly on course after the skid-wiggle.

A couple of more tight turns and rubber squeaks brought me to the mine field of rubber bumps intended to test the suspension. I must have passed brain gas here: the BMW and I cleared the array of dense rubber bumps without hitting any of them without much thought or effort. Thanks to this precision handling, I never tested the suspension! I felt as if I could dance through a mess of spilled marbles without running any of them over. That might be what were paying $35k for here. The legendary German precision.

A couple of more squeaks and tight-turn tweaks; some guy throws a foam rock at me (ha! he didn't even get close!) and another limited straightaway (engine groans again) and a returned to the pits without receiving a driving demerit from the demonstration people.

It's a wonderful car. It really is. Unfortunately, I believe some of the price tag is simply slated toward the BMW emblems: the legend and status of the Bavarian marque.

I would have preferred better ergonomics, a lower center of gravity (more confidence inspiring stability) and an engine that doesn't whine quite so much when pushed to the limit. Off the track, in the real world, this should be a fine choice for the German automobile enthusiast.