I lived for three years in Tucson, Arizona -- wintering grounds of many a snowbird -- and I'll never forget those early autumn days, when the "tuna fleet" returned to the desert. Not stinky old fishing boats, mind you, but a veritable flotilla of what might also be called land yachts or highway barges. Retirees (and their widows) from St. Louis, Chicago, and Minneapolis would arrive, all pushing around about three tons of Detroit iron. The vehicles of choice were Chevy Caprices, Buick Electras, and Olds 98s.
Oh, yeah, and Lincoln Town Cars.
A couple of weeks ago, I got to play helmsman in my own tuna boat; and I think maybe I figured out why the snowbirds kept on buying those behemoths. Perhaps the fact that I'm twenty years closer to geezerhood than I was in my Tucson days has some influence, but I had to admit that one gets the sensation of a luxury cruise from driving one of these things: it's as if you're somehow kept separate from the "ordinary" folks out there in their Camrys and Tauruses.
If that's what turns you on, this could be the car for you. And here's why...
Appointments
The Town Car fully intends to be a luxury vehicle, and details of design and construction bear out this intention. The seats are soft and supportive, with cushy rolled leather surfaces. The dashboard is trimmed in wood grain (well, at least it
looks like wood), and even the steering wheel has a comfortable leather covering so that the driver's fingers are not affronted by the touch of plastic. The carpeting is thick, helping to deaden road and engine noise, much as does the padding in the other body panels.
The seats, already comfortable, are widely adjustable, with six-way tilt and position controlled by switches mounted on the door panels. I guess that's supposed to make the switches more accessible. Speaking of switches, there is also a toggle on the dash that will bring the pedals closer to the driver's seat; this seems (at the risk of being insensitive) highly useful in advancing cases of osteoporosis...
The sound system is somewhat pedestrian, but perhaps this is in keeping with the intended audience: us old geezers don't much care about the treble response of the speakers or the size and placement of subwoofers. Heck, we're just happy to be able to hear the barbershop quartets on AM Oldies radio, doncha know?
Climate control is tailored to a mature crowd as well. The controls include an automatic setting, which will apparently maintain a specified temperature. The manufacturers also provide an exterior thermometer, electronic compass, and an information center for distance and fuel information. Displays and labels are all clearly marked in large-format lettering, in keeping with the dominant theme.
The Mechanics
The 5.5-liter V8 provides plenty of oomph, with sufficient reserve power for good acceleration on the highway and on entrance ramps. Meanwhile, it sips relatively daintily on the open road (to the tune of 23 MPG), though fuel economy is greatly reduced in city driving (I averaged about 16 MPG). As for handling, well, the huge vehicle corners like a Mack truck, with a turning radius one would expect for a vehicle approximately the size of the QE2. I would not personally want to try to parallel park it. The Town Car rides like a somewhat animated hovercraft; when going over irregular surfaces, I got the feeling that the suspension was designed not to reduce the amplitude of shocks as much as to increase their wavelength. This is a bit disconcerting at first, but adds to the sensation of driving an ocean liner. Really.
Room for Your Pet Hippo
Since the Town Car is pretty darned big on the outside, it should be no surprise that there's a wealth of room on the inside. I haven't seen a back seat with this kind of leg room since my college roommate's '64 Checker Marathon (he needed it -- he was 6'8"); and there's plenty of elbow room to go with it. The glove compartment is about the size of the trunk in a Ford Escort, and the trunk -- well, the trunk will hold enough luggage for those snowbirds to visit Tucson for the winter without needing a trailer...
The Downside
You'd think that Lincoln-Mercury would go all out on this car, wouldn't you? Well, there are some places where they chose to go the economy route, and it shows. The sound system is a case in point. Other places where there may have been some false economy include the information center -- compared to the Volvo S-40 and the Buick Century, this model is very basic: there's no instantaneous readout and no elapsed-time setting.
Overall
So many vehicles on the roads aspire to luxury; some of them achieve a form of luxury that manifests itself in high technology: heated seats, steering-wheel position memory, individualized climate-control settings and the like. Such vehicles seem to cleave to the
nouveau riche model of luxury. The Town Car, however, is an example of "old money" riches; displayed not in the trappings of technology but through tried-and-true approaches to luxury. Look to the Town Car for fine materials and the simple elegance of classic design. Look here for the luxury of a silken cocoon, where the passengers are
isolated from the mundanities of the everyday world.
Hey, if that's what turns you on, the Town Car is just the ticket for you!
Amount Paid (US$): 30000
Condition: New
Model Year: 2001
