THIS IS BETTER THAN TWIST TOP BEER BOTTLES
Written: May 15 '01 (Updated May 15 '01)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: EVERYTHING, THIS BABY IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD
Cons: NONE EXCEPT I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT THIS SO MUCH EARLIER
The Bottom Line: HOW COME THE GUY ON THE BOX LOOKS LIKE LES NESMAN FROM WKRP?
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| JAMES23's Full Review: Symantec Norton AntiVirus 2001 7.0 Full Version fo... |
I had been meaning to write this review quite a few months ago, but never got around to it. What can I say I'm the worlds biggest procrastinator, but I'm thinking of getting help for it.… someday ("Hi my name is James." "Hi James." "And I've been meaning to come to this meeting for some time now...."). I even had a catchy opening paragraph about how this would be the first time I'd actually used the site to make a buying decision and all that.
The main reason I didn't write it at the time as I still hadn't made up my mind to buy Norton or MacAfee. Unlike a few people on here, I actually believe that buying, owning, renting, borrowing, stealing, using, seeing, visiting, reading, trying or whatever of the product and/or place in question is a basic prerequisite for a review. I still hadn't decided which of the two similar pieces of software was best for me.
Now bear in mind that I'm among the technically challenged. At the tiny gerbil farm where I go for my day job I use a computer all the time. That's the job that I'm forced to go to because I can't make enough money writing here to tell them to take a "Phlying Phiddlers Phuck" by the way. Every now and then the computer goes down or seizes up or some other stupid thing. Actually it's more than every now and then, it's a regular and constant occurrence.
When this happens I have a set drill, an immediate action to respond to the problem. I scream, swear, (frightening my cubicle mate by the way) and pound on the keys in frustration. Sometimes this works and I resume my normal drone like behaviour. If for some reason it fails to correct the situation, I resort to phase two. I again scream and swear although louder this time, and call on all the Dark Gods to descend (ascend?) and butcher Bill Gates and all his ilk.
Again if this fails I resort to phase three. I grab the phone and leave a scathing message for the IT guy in the office. Usually something like "Ron, the blanking, blankety blank (feel free to fill in the blank with whatever word you feel is appropriate there) is blanked again." Then I grab my coat and go for a coffee.
By the time I come back from my caffeine fix, the problem is usually fixed. Ron, bless his heart will then try and explain what the problem was. Then he'll remember who he's talking to, stop, shake his head sadly and wander off.
Sometimes it's another IT type that answers my distress plea. Unlike the rest of us they occasionally let Ron run free from his Gerbil cage. This unwitting person will actually then try and explain what went wrong and what I should do to ensure it doesn't happen again. When this happens I just stare at the picture I have framed on my cage's wall.
It's a nice shot of myself and my old recce platoon. We're all posing and heavily armed with nice idiotic grins. The type of expression that only some naive twenty something can have. Soon the IT type will catch on, they're pretty smart these IT types you know, follow my gaze to the picture, then note the expression on my face. Soon after that, they're beating a hasty retreat.
There was a purpose of this annoying but slightly amusing little deviation. It was to demonstrate just how "computer disadvantaged" I am. When it came to choosing which anti virus software I should get I resorted to asking the experts.
In an almost kafkaesque irony, a large number of my friends are computer literate and then some. IT types, software developers, programmers and all sorts of neat things. At least that's what it says on their business cards, but then they could have had those printed up at Kinkos to impress girls.
I began polling them as to which would best suit my needs, Norton or MacAfee. Naturally each gave me a different answer, and a reason for why one was "better" than the other. The more I asked the more I got confused, and the longer I procrastinated.
Fortunately about a month and half ago my decision was made for me. I was about to log on one Sunday evening for a couple of hours of the three "R's" on Epinions, you know, reading, rating, and ranting. Bang the damn thing wouldn't boot up. I realised I was at home so crying for Ron and running off to Starbucks wouldn't cut it this time.
I called a couple of buddies and tearfully described what the situation was. I was seriously starting to jones without my Epinions fix by this point I'd like to note for the record. They all gave me the same sage advice. "Take it into the shop and stop bugging me!"
The next morning I phoned a couple of local shops to get an estimate. There were only two in the immediate area to my place. The first advised me in a surly tone that it would be $95.00 an hour, minimum two hours to just look at. Odds are I wouldn't be advised what was wrong, read how much they thought they could soak me for, let alone get it back for at least a week. I said I'd let them know and made a mental note to ...(DELETED BY JAMES23'S LEGAL COUNSEL).
The next place was only a couple of blocks away. The nice lady advised me that they charged $35.00 an hour. She also said that it wasn't too busy and if I could get it there over lunch, she could take a look at it that afternoon. I grabbed a cab home during my lunch break, grabbed the CPU, which I had unhooked the night before, and shlumped it the two blocks to the repair shop. That afternoon I called her and she gave me the bad news.
It was bad because naturally the warranty on the computer had just expired. It had been two years since I bought it, and my normal one year warranty had been doubled by VISA which was nice of them I thought and almost worth the 19% the bloodsuckers......, but I digress.
It probably wouldn't have mattered any how as the place I'd bought it from had gone out of business. Something told me that if I'd tried to contact the manufacturers, I'd be advised that either a) my warranty was only good on alternative Tuesdays in Khazakstan, or b) that it had "fallen off of the back of a truck" and some nice men in suits and dark glasses would be soon calling me to chat.
Any ways she said that my memory or some such was gone and would have to be replaced. She quoted me the price, I Ok'd the work, and she said it should be ready the next day. The next morning I called to see if I could pick it up at lunch. She advised me that she also discovered that my hard drive was gone too. Or maybe it was the hard drive the first day and the memory the second, my memory isn't too good on this (ouch).
I again consented and arranged to pick it up after work. After lunch I called to make sure it would be ready, and was given the bad news, again. Now it appears that my power unit was toast as well. I had visions of this bill just going up and up with every call, so I just said fix whatever and I'd pick it up that night.
When I showed up to get it, I was expecting to be really (DELETED) and not in a good way. Surprisingly the bill was more than fair considering all the work she'd had to do. All told it was way less than I thought and I know she gave me a deal on the labour. We'd spent more time talking on the phone than she'd billed me for the whole job.
(For all that, I'm going to digress and offer a shameless plug here. Anyone in the downtown Toronto area who needs a computer repair shop, try College Pro Computers 113 Bond Street, near Ryerson University, (416) 597-2789. They're fast, polite, efficient, and inexpensive. Shameless plug now ends.)
My computer was now the Steve Austin of the CPU set. It was faster, stronger..… she'd had the technology, she had rebuilt it. There was a new hard drive, a new memory, and a new power unit. She'd even replaced the most important and expensive part. The little machine in the back that goes "ping."
I paid up, grabbed my new and improved and under warranty again CPU and made for the door. As I was leaving the nice lady pointed out that I really should have virus protection software installed. She pointed out she had Norton available and would even install it for me. I thanked her, said I'd think about it and went on my merry way.
During the next week I really took her advice to heart. I ran around to a couple of stores and priced both systems. I went on Epinions and read each and every review for both Norton and MacAfee. Sometimes I even understood what the hell they were talking about. Somehow however I never actually got around to actually going out and buying it.
About now you're wondering when is he going to get to the Norton Anti Virus 2001? He's really going to catch it from the E.O.T.P. (Epinions Off Topic Police). Actually I figure they gave up about 500 words ago and went and NH'd this review. Now they're in the comments section leaving a self effacing and/or apologetic comment explaining why they NH'd it. At least I hope they're leaving a comment, it so makes me feel wanted and important.
Not even two weeks had passed when I again sat down on a Sunday evening for some more three "R's" of Epinions, rewriting, ranting and revenge rating. Again nothing, nicht, nada. Ok don't panic I told myself. We know what to do this time, and besides it's under warranty again.
Monday morning I called the nice computer lady. All I got was a busy signal the first time. Still no need to panic, I'd just try again later. All morning I kept trying and all I got were busy signals or a message that their voice mail box was full. Now it was ok to panic and I grabbed a cab down there on my lunch break.
There was a sign on the door they were closed and wouldn't be back until Thursday. Now it was time to panic, almost a whole week without my computer, my Internet, my Epinions. Well two out three anyway. I almost considered that other place with the $95.00 per hour rates. Then I remembered that..(AGAIN DELETED BY JAMES23'S LEGAL COUNSEL. JAMES STOP DOING THIS OR FIND A NEW LAWYER OK).
Thursday I and my CPU were there right at the crack of noon. It seems they had been closed for a weeks vacation, frolicking in the Caribbean. I guess my cheque for the first set of repairs had cleared. She promised to take a quick look and call me at work that afternoon. I stopped hyperventilating and went back to my gerbil cage.
Later that afternoon I called and got the bad news. My computer was infected with a virus. Not only that but a worm virus, and the newest most powerful strain of worm virus then running through cyberspace. Well if you're going to get a virus, you might as well go out and get the best.
She said she could clean it out but it would take a couple of days. There was a backlog of work in the shop from the vacation. She also pointed out that she'd have to load an anti virus, or it would just stay in there hiding in the nooks and crannies and replicating itself or some such.
She quoted me $40.00 for Norton Anti Virus 2001 plus a couple of hours labour. This actually became one hour when I picked it up Friday evening, another deal.
Later that night I was in front of my monitor happily surfing away. I also took some time to check out the newest spiffy little icon on my screen. I soon became, and am still convinced that is the best thing since sliced bread and twist off beer bottles.
First of all it's dead simple to install, even for a Luddite like me. Ok I know the nice lady from the shop installed it for me, but so what. I could have done it myself, I've been to higher reading and writing school. I'm sure I can manage the complexities of inserting a CD-Rom in my computer and following such complex commands on the screen as "START", "YES", "NO", "RUN", "CONTINUE", and "FINNISH."
What really impresses me is the levels of protection this software has. It goes in and scans and fixes everything, every file, drive, and nook and cranny. I'm sure it even fixes the machine that goes "ping."
The instructions are easy to follow and straightforward too. It tells you what it can do, and what level(s) of protection you want/need. Real time scanning, virus definitions , and rescue disks oh my, lots of cool stuff here.
My two favourites are the automatic scan. Mine is set so every Friday it automatically scans everything and I mean everything on my computer and lets me know if any thing is wrong. It's unobtrusive too. I can be working along and I'll glance down and see the icon appear. I can take a break, maximize it and watch as it scans through all my junk, then minimize it and get back to my work well it does its.
There are automatic updates and uploads and it will even remind you to get them. Perfect for the procrastinator that I am. Log on and I'll get a message every now and then saying its time to see what's new in the wild and woolly world of cyber illness. I can chose to update then and there or ask it to wait a day or two and ask again.
Finally and most importantly the thing works. That's what I paid for and all the other shiny toys are just gravy. Case in point one of my buddies was over the other night. Actually it was fellow Epionator W.C.Cudmore, who incidentally is the one responsible for introducing me to this site, so all complaints to him please.
After a brief raid on my well stocked liquor cabinet, he was downloading some quasi legal Napster replacement type site on my computer. To demonstrate how it worked we began requesting some obscure songs, which it found for us and downloaded. Suddenly a great bloody virus warning popped up on the screen.
Good old Uncle Norton was letting me know that opening that particular file was a no no. We deleted it and went back to our fun and games, no drama. I only wished I'd had it a couple of weeks earlier. I'd have saved myself the needless exercise of dragging my heavy CPU back and forth across a couple of busy downtown streets.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
JAMES23
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 - Top 200 |
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Member: James Smith
Location: Toronto Ontario CANADA
Reviews written: 450
Trusted by: 222 members
About Me:
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