The Apache/Santa Cruz dorms at the University of Arizona really suck a big fatty. Okay, that being said (I had to get years of frustration out of my system), I will tell you (you lovable epinions member!) exactly why you should not choose this dorm if contemplating on-campus housing at the UofA.

Way ghetto, even by Tucson standards
Sure, Tucson has some beautiful areas, but hey – even the disease-ridden and sh*t-infested lands of India can be beautiful (a friend visited there and told me all about it). But let’s face it – Tucson is a pit. It’s a college town and will always be a college town because the University is really the only thing the city has to offer (although the Air Force airplane graveyard is pretty neat). The Apache/Santa Cruz dorms are no exception to the ghetto factor. The basement is being ran by roaches in such high numbers that they don’t even scatter when you turn on the lights in the kitchen. They live in the microwaves and the oven and crawl all over your food even when the oven is on. If one wants a somewhat sanitary meal, one must own a microwave and have it in their room. The roaches even migrated to the laundry room where the cute little baby roaches crawl into the wash machine and dance the forbidden dance with your panties. I lived on the second floor and STILL had a few lovely encounters with the little critters crawling into my bed. Even after the big bug bombs were set off during xmas break, those suckers survived and their numbers did not diminish. Gotta give them credit for being tough little troopers.

The rooms themselves have no carpet, unexplainable stains on the mattresses, chewed up gum stored on the ceiling, and various graffitti art and slogans on the walls near one’s bed. The bathrooms are community bathrooms with drapes for toilet stall doors and the showers are separated by drapes as well (and might I add that they do not fit the space they were designed for). Did I mention this is a co-ed dorm and we had various ‘peeping toms’ in the ladies’ bathrooms?

Don’t even think you are going to get any sleep, buddy!
Apache/Santa Cruz is right next to the football stadium. That’s pretty much self-explanatory. We also led the entire campus in fire drills in the Spring of 1994 with 32! Only 3 of them were scheduled, mind you, and nearly all 32 took place at 2 a.m. I don’t know who thinks it’s such a great idea to wake people up so early in the goddamn morning 32 times, but maybe it shows you just how bright the residents there are. BONUS: when a dorm has a fire drill, ALL residents must be outside on the sidewalk while they wait for the fire department to come and the fire marshall must check random rooms to see if anyone is inside. If you are caught hiding out anywhere inside of the building, you run the risk of being kicked out permanently of the dorms. So, we would be in our pj’s at 2 a.m. sitting on the sidewalk waiting for those glorious yellow fire trucks to show up. Bless those firemen for putting up with our shenanigans.

What? You wanted to KEEP your personal belongings??
Theft is rampant at Apache/Santa Cruz (like I’m sure it is in other dorms) – but, hey that’s the price you pay for living in the ghetto. Let’s see, I had clothes stolen out of the dryer in the basement, my roommate would steal my headphones whenever I went out of town, my tapes would mysteriously disappear…I could go on about other incidents. Basically, you must really keep an eye on your stuff. Stay in the basement when doing your laundry and be alert to suspicious activity on your floor.

I know that the University of Arizona has built some brand spankin’ new dorms since I left, and I would recommend any prospective students to try and get into those newer ones. Apache/Santa Cruz was built sometime in the 1950’s and you can tell. Granted, a lot of these things I gripe about can happen anywhere on campus in the dorms, but Apache/Santa Cruz really was a hell-hole. I’ve talked to other students about it, and when I tell them where I stayed at on campus, they all laugh at me because they know. They know that I lived in the ghetto on campus. Be smart – get an apartment or rent a house with others. It will sure beat staying in a box-sized cell, and you won’t have to join the party on the sidewalk while the fire marshall patrols the floors.






Recommended: No