Army Men: Sarge's Heroes: One of the 5 Fun Games for the N64
Written: Oct 09 '00
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Product Rating:
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Pros: All the fun things that you used to do with your little green army men...before your mom came in to ruin the fun.
Cons: Bad camera angles and control team up to screw you over.
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| Alkaiser's Full Review: Army Men Sarge's Heroes for Nintendo 64 |
You guys remember when the N64 first came out in the US, and everyone rushed out to buy it? Man, I feel sorry for those people right now. Although the N64 had a bit more processing power, the limited space on a cartridge apparently didn't lend itself to making good games. What ended up happening is you got this big glut of horrid games. (If you walk by the N64 shelf and you're wondering if a game you haven't heard of is any good, that answer is no...and don't even think about that Superman game.) For the first year and a half, you had 3 types of games, Mario clones, crappy 3D fighting games, and sports. It's pretty much the same now, but some really nice 3D shooters are emerging. Although texturing and graphics are going to be lacking compared to their PC counterparts, sometimes, a company will offset that with some really cool gameplay. Army Men: Sarge's Heroes is one of those games.
I Always Knew Those Tan Soldiers Were Up To No Good...
The story starts with you, the Sarge, awakening to find your base is being overrun by those seedy looking tan soldiers. (They're just upset because they were always cheaper than the green soldiers.) All this takes place under the tutelage of the insidious General Plastro. (Something tells me that his first name is Fidel...) So as your fellow green blooded(?) troops are being shot, melted, and run into the ground, you've got to find Colonel Grimm and get him to safety all the while, making sure you make it to safety, too. (Gotta look out for Number One, man.) Along the way you'll meet other members of your team who were captured, spies from the Blue squad, and the Colonel's well molded daughter, Vikki.
Maybe If The Soldiers Came With This Arsenal, They Would Have Fended Off The Lawnmower...
Don't you hate that? You'd go out and mow the lawn, and munch up a perfectly good foot soldier...Anyway, all the little green men in this game come with a fair amount of munitions. You start off with your standard issue M-16, and along the way, you'll acquire mortars, mines, bazookas, grenades, and everyone's favorite tool of mass plastic destruction, the flamethrower. (Plastic is basically solidified gasoline...which explains why it burns so well for so long.) All the projectile weapons will have a sight mode, where you can aim more precisely than the auto-aiming. There's even a cool sniper rifle in the game, so you can blow the polymer out of your enemy from long range.
Location, Location, Location.
Part of the coolness factor of the game is running around locales that are more familiar to you in normal size. In Army Men, you'll get to roam around the garden, the bathroom, and the sandbox. It's pretty cool sniping the little plastic guys off the soap dish. =) You'll have to climb blocks, "mountains", and of course, blow a bunch of collateral stuff up to get goodies. (It's really odd lobbing a grenade into the forest, and seeing several trees catch fire simultaneously.) The game even throws in some of the fun vehicles, like helicopters, tanks, and the maniacal V-bots.
Permission To Speak Freely, Sir!
This game would be perfect, except it seems as if you and the controller are working at cross-purposes. The camera angles don't help any either. If you could play in first person mode all the time, the game would be great. But since you can't, you'll be in situations where you can see people, but you have no angle to shoot at them. You'll also get stuck behind mountains, and other obstacles, and be unable to see yourself, which, as you might imagine, kinda hinders you from reaching your objective. The other complaint I have...why can't your plastic men swim across water? They float, man! Why does water equate to death to all video game characters anyway? They survive bullets, knives, mines, but water...not a chance. They should just arm the opposing army with squirt guns. On top of that, after I had finished writing this review, my roommate Ross was messing around with the game and after an execptionally long mission, it crashed...twice, in the same spot. We shoved it back in the package right after that.
Multiplayer
This is probably the most fun multiplayer on the N64 since Goldeneye. (In that span of time 2 new Bond flicks have been released.) The maps are a little large, and the control problems don't lend too well to actual combat. However, there's no better feeling than melting your opponent into a sniveling, writhing puddle of goo. So get you and 3 of your friends together, and have at it. Don't use the M-60. It sucks.
Prognosis:
One of less than 5 games on the N64 I actually like playing. While the problems in this game would normally detract a whole lot from overall gameplay, well, you've just come to expect this from the N64 after a while, and you sort of accept it. (Which is NEVER a good thing.) Despite the handicaps the system have imposed upon it, Army Men: Sarge's Heroes definitely makes the grade.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID: Alkaiser
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Member: Clayton Chan
Location: Irvine, CA
Reviews written: 655
Trusted by: 344 members
About Me: Broke the 700 pound mark on my leg lifts.
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