First off, let me say that this game should not be called Donkey Kong 64. Oh no, Donkey Kong is a loser, and I have a new favorite gorilla. Lanky Kong, the Gumby of Nintendo, is the true star of this game. Absolutely hilarious too watch (I'll never get tired of his voice and arm-stretchy attacks), and the perfect embodiment of a hillbilly in an orange gorilla's body, Lanky reigns supreme.

But anyway, maybe I should talk about the game.

Donkey Kong and his buddies finally make the jump from 2-D to 3-D gaming, and in a big way. I, and I’m sure many people felt this way as well, that Rare and Nintendo were so pressured to make a 3-D Donkey Kong game that it would end up being rushed and sloppy. But I should have learned long ago to have faith in Rare. Time and time again they have pushed the N64 cartridge to its limits, and this game is no exception.

First off, let me recommend the manual for this game (good lord, he actually reads that thing!?). Cranky Kong , the token crazy scientist, puts a little bit of his humor into this, with such comments on various aspects of the game such as the controller (What’s this wobbly thing they call a joystick?! It feels broken!!… it goes on.), as well as the storyline, which actually isn’t too terribly great. The Kong gang’s hoard of golden bananas has yet again been stolen, and it’s up to the Kong gang to save them. Well, at least in the beginning it’s only Donkey. Diddy, Lanky, Tiny, and Chunky (that’s right, Chunky) Kong all get kidnapped, and Donkey has to save them by either jumping on stuff, or shooting them (more on that later). Pretty lame and unoriginal, if you ask me.

All right then. You as the player start off in Donkey Kong’s pad, and are instructed to go to Cranky’s lab, where he gives you info on your moves, gives you potions, and generally insults you. Cranky’s lab will appear periodically throughout the game so you can get new moves for each of the individual Kongs, as well as some universal moves (the Mario stomp, which slightly more advanced effects and a different name). Cranky then instructs you to go to the training barrels, where you learn the basics of swinging on vines, swimming, and throwing explosive barrels. After that, you get the cute little butt-slam move, and you can open the gate to Kong Island or whatever they call it.

Kong Island is the gateway to each of the individual worlds (eight large ones). There are also golden bananas around here as well, although as you will find out quickly, only some are available to Donkey Kong. Others require a different gorilla to get, and you will know this when the banana (be it golden or a little colored one, coordinated to their corresponding Kong) is faded out. Eventually, you will also get a gun (also unique to each character). Using it is simple – just aim, shoot, and hope you hit it because ammo is sometimes hard to come by. The dumb thing about the gun is that when the projectile fired reaches a certain point, it disappears and you have to move closer to hit the target.

The first thing you notice as you begin to wander around is the sheer massiveness of the game. Each level is absolutely huge, and contains at least 3 or 4 mini-games, if not more. It isn’t exactly a hard game to beat – face it, light-blue beavers are not going to be much of a problem for a frigging gorilla. Despite the easiness of the baddies, the mini-games can be a little more of a challenge, and many shine as being quite brilliant (I especially like the ones where you ride around in a mine-cart and try to collect DK Coins).

Controlling your character is fairly simple and straightforward, especially if you’ve played Mario 64 – the controls are almost identical. The camera view is decent, but it doesn’t always stay centered behind the character, and there are times where the camera can’t zoom in close enough and forces you to perform a delicate stunt…well…too delicately and slow for my tastes. Clipping occasionally occurs as well (invisible walls, faces showing up on rea…nevermind).

The graphics are very good for N64 – at least the focus objects are. Scenery is not the focus of the game, but it is definitely a weak point. Forests are Goldeneye style – walls painted camouflage green. Other than that, the characters are fairly decent, although all four of the male Kong’s need to learn how to get rid of those polygonal fuzzies – they’re quite large. (In other words, polygonal characters = square-ish faces and body parts.)

Sound is a plus in this game. Different areas will have different music tracks (i.e. a cave’s music is different than a sunny jungle’s). There are a host of sound effects that will lend their talents to the game (my favorite is the splat you make after falling off a 10-story waterfall/cliff).

All in all, Lanky and Donkey and the other Kongs make a solid jump to the 3-D gaming world in Donkey Kong 64. Graphics and sounds are pretty darn good for an N64 cartridge, and it’s “E” rating ensures parents and kids alike that they won’t see anything controversial material in the game. Heck, my 45-year-old dad enjoyed watching my brother and I play this game (though that lasted only about fifteen minutes at a time).


Recommended: Yes