"...If Nautical Nonsense Be Somethin' Ye' Wish..."
Written: Nov 18 '01 (Updated Dec 18 '05)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Well-defined character roles, fast-paced storylines
Cons: Makes my jaws ache from smiling and my stomach hurt from laughing
The Bottom Line: Just a young sponge with square britches tryin' to find his way in the world....
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| myoptical's Full Review: SpongeBob SquarePants |
Spongebob Squarepants is my fix which replaced my Ren & Stimpy habit. Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean. The fact that his house is a Pineapple and his girlfriend (Sandy) is a squirrel who lives underwater with him (in a fishbowl with air instead of water) clues you into the "Nautical Nonsense" which is the foundation of this cartoon. It is not intended to be anything like what we experience as real life. Spongebob Squarepants is a true cartoon in that it is an extension of the creator's imagination; notice I didn't say "genius"...
The themes in this show are less flagrant than Ren & Stimpy yet are written to appeal to both children and adults: the ugly prom date, Spongebob's quest for the 27th consecutive Employee of the Month award, Squidward selling his house because of annoying neighbors (Spongebob and Patrick), and the list goes on and on. This is a world where "Tartar Sauce" is a bad word and the worst living fate is when you end up at a "Pet Shop"; akin to being enslaved. The sound effects are appropriate and help build ambience. Graphics aren't meant to be japanese-anime level, but they are more than adequate to do the trick. Occassionally, you'll see a still picture which is similar to the still pictures found in a Ren & Stimpy cartoon.
Spongebob is the main character; of course. He is a young, yellow, porous, rectangular, chipper young man w/ a zeal for life and a propensity for getting in over his head. He's the kind o' guy who shrivels when he cries because his water leaks out all over the floor; possible only in toons. Spongebob's voice is very nasal and his laugh is similar to a hyena on helium, but his personality is what captures your funny bone's heart. True to the title, spongebob's pants (and underwear) are square (actually rectangular). Spongebob often ends up ripping his pants and actually seems proud about it. This industrious young lad holds down a full-time job and has a pet snail named Gary. If you watch this show long enough, Gary will surprise you in one way or another. With alarm clock buzzer which looks and sounds like the horn on a major cruise liner, he wakes up every day to get ready to run to work singing "Iiiii'm ready!.....Iiiii'm ready!.....Iiiii'm ready!.....Iiiii'm ready!....."
Patrick is Spongebob's best friend and one of his neighbors. His voice sounds like he's been on a steady diet of valium. He also happens to be a Starfish whose home is the underside of a rock. Patrick is the not-too-bright friend whose advice always seems to lead Spongebob awry. Yet, he really cares about his pal. In the morning, he either flips it on one end (like a trash-can lid) or slides out from underneath. I've even seen Patrick lay down and slide the big boulder over his legs like a blanket. He drools when he sleeps. Patrick's wardrobe consists solely of a pair of Bermuda shorts. I like Patrick.
Squidward is Spongebob's irritable, pessimistic and cynical neighbor. His pupils are rectangular; true to squid-style. His voice is deeper and sounds like his nares are eternally plugged. He walks on 4 tentacles as if they were 2 legs and uses the remaining 2 tentacles as arm-like appendages. His large, greyish/green, sausage-like nose deflates and reflates when he laughs; which usually happens when he's not thinking about Spongebob. Squidward also has a full-time job and happens to work at the same place as Spongebob. Squidward's home appears to be the head of a Central or South American-style statue. He like to play the clarinet but he sucks horribly at it. His feeble attempts at refinement fall well below short. His dislike of Spongebob, in my opinion, is due to Spongebob's innocence and naivete more than anything else.
Mr. Crab doens't have a first name from what I can tell. He is Spongebob's, as well as Squidward's, employer. He owns and manages the famous Crusty Crab: Home of the Crabby Patty burger. This short and stout crab may laugh like Popeye the Sailor but he is cheap like Archie Bunker. Strangely, he has a daughter named Pearl. Through some cartoon twist of fate, Mr. Crab's daughter is a sperm whale with an extremely large head. Her wardrobe is usually a miniscule tutu. Mr. Crab plays a paternal role to Spongebob, offering wisdom with a cheap-skate coloration or the usual (well-intended) embellishments. Breaks aren't usually allowed and that is due to Spongebob setting the pace as a dedicated employee. He works the kitchen like a champ creating each Crabby Patty with individual love and care. Mr. Crab's star employee has gone toe-to-toe with Poseidon in a Cook-off. While Poseidon magnificently created a plethora of burgers, they tasted like crap. Spongebob, over the same time period, was only able to make one, lovingly-constructed Crabby Patty that eventually won the contest. Without Spongebob, Mr. Crab's establishment can't run.
Sandy - is a tree squirrel who lives underwater. When she is mobile, she interacts with the other sea creatures through an underwater-sea suit. When she heads to her casa, she passes through an intermediate chamber which exudes the water. Inside her reverse fishbowl she can breath normally, lay in her grass, play in her singular tree, feed her birds, play with butterflies, etc. Don't be misled by this woodland creature's timid cousins. Sandy is an accomplished martial artist. She can chop rocks and kick major, gill-breathin' booty. A strong female with a light Texas accent, Sandy holds her own as the only air-breather of the cast. Spongebob has a crush on her, but you didn't hear it from me.
Spongebob and Patrick made an unexpected visit to Rock Bottom, many miles below Bikini Bottom; Benthos-level deep. Inhabited by creatures sinister-looking and somewhat scary, Spongebob and Patrick make herculean efforts to get their butts back to Bikini Bottom. First they had to overcome the language factor: every one inserts a *raspberry* between every word spoken. I'd get more into detail, but this was THE funniest Spongebob Squarepants episode I've ever seen.
[beginning of every show]
Framed picture of Painty the Pirate on a wall
superimposed video of mouth only over the picture's mouth begins talking in Pirate-like voice......
OOOOOOOOOOO...who lives in a pineapple under the sea??
(kids scream) Sponge Bob Squarepants!!!!
Absorbent and Yellow and Porus is He???
(kids scream) Sponge Bob Squarepants!!!!
If Nautical Nonsense is just what Ye' wish!
(kids scream) Sponge Bob Squarepants!!!!
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
(kids scream) Sponge Bob Squarepants!!!!
(everybody screams) Sponge Bob Squarepants!!!!
(everybody screams) Sponge Bob Squarepants!!!!
(everybody screams) Sponge Bob Squarepants!!!!
Sponge ... bob ... !!! ... Squarepantssss!!!!
If you're interesetd here is the url for Spongebob's website:
http://www.nick.com/all_nick/tv_supersites/spongebob/main.jhtml
All interactive features are done via Shockwave:
Crossword Puzzles - not that stimulating or amusing to me, but it's made for kids not 30-year old men...::smirk::
Boating School - amusing game where you use your mouse to help Spongebob drive a boat on an underwater road. Pick up crabby patties, square underwear, avoid pylons and brick walls in the street, jump ramps for extra points and accelerate using the spacebar. Not bad
Underwater screensaver - downloade an *.exe file to your desktop which will automatically install the Spongebobster as your screensaver.
Talking with the cast of Mr. Squarepants - a waste of server space. This single page allows you to click on Spongebob, Sandy, Patrick or Squidward to hear a short saying frome each character. That's it....
"Anchovy Feeding Frenzy" time- user your mouse to lob Crabby Patties into the gaping mouths of hungry anchovies; known to destroy the Crusty Crab when and unfed. Aim with your mouse and hit as many as you can. There are 4 levels. If you are successful in completing all 4, you become the Employee of the Month!!!
Flip or Flop game - Now this games requires more thought than the others. Spongebob's over a sizzin' grill and you direct him to create Crabby Patties as fast as you can. Click on the raw patties on the right-side (his left) of the grill so he'll put them on the grill, click them again to flip them (they'll turn brown when ready), then click again to have them moved to a bun. On the left-side is the condiments. Click the Cheese, then lettuce, pickles, ketchup, mustard, mayo and, finally, the top bun. Squiward's odd-shaped cranium peeks from the left side to take the order out to the customers. Now I had fun with this one...but it doesn't take much to amuse me.
From his website, get access to order the first-ever Spongebob CD; the first album from Nick Records. The theme song from Painty The Pirate & Kids, etc.
As a cartoon, Spongebob is not overly violent (whether it's realistic or humorous, it's still violence to children) and most of the skits are more bent on the humorous escapades of the cast and the social interaction than action.
Of course, I still watch it with my children to filter inappropriate material for them as they are only 4 and 2 1/2. But I like it, they like it, even my wife now likes Spongebob. She got hooked when she heard Mr. Crab's explicative "...What in the Halibut is goin' on here?"
Watch an episode and decide for yourself....Goodnight Gary!
Recommended:
Yes
Type of Program: Cartoon or Animated
Program Quality: Entertaining, but not intellectually or emotionally engaging
Best Suited For: Kids to Teens
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Epinions.com ID:
myoptical
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Member: JOHN B. WADE III, all liberties reserved
Location: near Chicago, Illinois Republic
Reviews written: 59
Trusted by: 64 members
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