Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (DVD, 2009, Includes THE FAST AND FURIOUS DRAFTING Movie Money)

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A disgrace to criminals everywhere. LOCK, STOCK, AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS.

Sep 1, 2008 (Updated Sep 1, 2008)
Review by  
Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:Brilliantly crafted, wickedly funny, this movie is hilarious and rapid fire.

Cons:Body count 16. F-Bombs, 125. If this does not bother you, no cons.

The Bottom Line: Guy Richie is the modern master of the English Crime Drama.  And this is the reason why.


Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. (1998) Written and Directed by Guy Richie.

"A minute ago this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia." Soap.

Eddie (Nick Moran), Bacon (Jason Statham), Soap (Dexter Fletcher) and Tom (Jason Flemyng) are four jack-the-lads out to make a name, and a bit of lolly for themselves. Eddie is unusually skilled at cards, not because he is a counter, but because he is brilliant at spotting tells. The lads all contribute $25,000.00 for Eddie to compete in a high end illegal card game with the Porn King of London, Hatchet Harry (P.H. Moriarty). However, Harry cheats, and the lads end up with a half million marker, and one week to pay it off before they begin loosing fingers.

Now, Harry also wants to obtain some fine old antique rifles, so he instructs his man Barry the Baptist (Lenny McLean) to arrange for their theft. "I don't want to know who you use, as long as they're not complete Muppets."

However, Barry, for reasons known only to him employs Gary (Victor McGuire) and Dean (Jake Abraham). The deal is, they steal everything inside the case for Barry, and they can keep everything outside.

Meanwhile, four blokes are trying to increase their IQ by the power of worry and trying to figure a way out of the mess they are in. Wafer thin walls provide them with an opportunity. Their neighbor, Dog (Frank Harper) and his band of bad boys have a plan to rob a ganja operation run by a group of college boys. They aren't villains; they are just in over their heads. The plan is simple. They let Dog and his boys do the heavy lifting, and then rob Dog.

However, the only law that all criminals must acknowledge is Murphy's Law. If something can go wrong, it will.

The guns Harry wants are not in the case; the butler used one of them to try to shoot Gary and Dean.

The guy the Lads got to broker the weed, Nick the Greek (Stephen Markus) tried to sell the marijuana to Rory Breaker (Vas Blackwood), who in point of fact is the man who owns it in the first place.

Dog figures who did him, and lies in wait.

Rory figures who did it, and goes to get them.

This does not end well. Well, maybe it does. It's a matter of perspective.

Guy Richie does English crime like no one else. His grasp of plot weaving and pacing is masterful, and the delightful Englishness of it all is wonderful. Here is a sample bit of dialogue. You will be happy to know it is subtitled to explain it all.

"Rory? Yeah I know Rory. He's not to be underestimated, you've got to look past the hair and the cute, cuddly thing - it's all a deceptive facade. A few nights ago Rory's Roger iron's rusted, so he's gone to the local battle-cruiser to catch the end of his footer. Nobody is watching the custard so he turns the channel over. A fat man's north opens and he wanders over and turns the Liza over. 'Now f*** off and watch it somewhere else.' Rory knows claret is imminent, but he doesn't want to miss the end of the game; so, calm as a coma, he stands and picks up a fire extinguisher and he walks straight past the jam rolls who are ready for action, then he plonks it outside the entrance. He then orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong tiddly in the nuclear sub and switches back to his footer. 'That's f***ing it,' says the guy. 'That's f***ing what' says Rory. Rory gobs out a mouthful of booze covering fatty; he then flicks a flaming match into his bird's nest and the man's lit up like a leaky gas pipe. Rory, unfazed, turned back to his game. His team's won too. Four-nil." Barfly Jack.

Richie's grasp of the humorous even in the grimmest of situations, especially in the grimmest of situations, makes his films memorable. The rampant violence, body count 16, and the profanity, F-bombs and variations, 125, make it decidedly adult fare.

That said, there is a wonderful sort of morality lesson to it all. You take your life in your hands when you play these sorts of games, and no one is immune to Mr. Murphy, or his law.

Richie's cinematography is simple, grim, and tending to the dingy lighting. It is a dingy world. But the angles and segues are brilliant. From start to finish this film grabs your interest and holds tight.

A few notes on the acting; this is the film debut of both Jason Statham and Vinnie Jones (
Big Chris.) Also, Sting is brilliant in the bit part of Eddie's dad, JD. Alan Ford pulls a cameo as JD's legman, Alan. He is also the narrator. I just mention this, because if you look at the credits to this and <a href="/content_442430819972">Snatch</a> you will see a lot of overlap.

Lenny McLean (Barry the Baptist) died one month before this movie was released in England, of cancer. The movie is dedicated to him. Lenny was a famous bare knuckles boxer before taking up acting.

Vinnie Jones almost didn't make the first day of filming. He had just been released from police custody for beating up his neighbor. He also had a double stand in for one scene in <a href="/content_442430819972">Snatch</a> because he was in the nick for a barroom brawl. What a guy!

I love this movie. It is so intricately plotted, everything has some relevance somewhere down the line. It is just tight, funny, and a roller coaster ride. I highly recommend it.

In the words of Big Chris, "It's been emotional."


Recommend this product? Yes

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