You too can grab selected celebrities' private parts when you visit Madame Tussaud's wax museum at the Venetian Hotel & Casino on Las Vegas Boulevard for the low, low price of $13.50! This low, low price is even lower if you are a Vegas resident, a senior citizen, or a child 3-10 years old (I’ll bet the senior citizens are the biggest private-part-grabbing demographic at Madame Tussaud’s – any takers?).

Probably the best part about Madame Tussaud’s wax museum is taking erotic, or silly, photos with any dummy of your choice (I don’t mean the patrons though, you have to ask their permission first.) The wax dummies are there for your pleasure, so go ahead – deface as many wholesome celebrity images as you please, like I did. I’ll take you on a tour of my Vegas photo session at Madame Tussaud’s…

The Big Night
Upon entry into the first showroom, I was greeted with the likes of Brad Pitt, Oprah, Arnold Schwartzenegger, and Jerry Springer. Who cares about them?? That’s when I saw him: Nicolas Cage. One burning hunk of sexy, hairy man meat, and I had to get my first naughty picture taken for the night. I waited for the crowd to clear out a little bit and for the museum worker to look the other way before I posed – I am considerate of the children and other virgin eyes. Then, I told my friend to be brisk about his picture-taking, as I did not want to get kicked out of the museum before I got a chance to molest at least 4 celebrities. I feel $13.50 is about 4 celebrities worth of molesting.

Anyways, I finally did what I’ve been dreaming about for years: grabbed Nicolas Cage in a place that can be compared to The Rock. I must say though, these wax dummies are NOT anatomically correct, so I decided to try and refrain from crotch-grabbing with the rest of the dummies. In the same room was Sean Connery, and I just couldn’t resist grinding on his leg like a little night-club slut with too much Cuervo 1800 in her. He looks rather happy about it.

Sports Arena
The next room is the Sports room which features a boxing ring with Muhammed Ali in an “I’m gonna knock your block off” pose. Also featured is Joe Montana and Babe Ruth, among others. But the dummy in the most interesting pose was John McEnroe, somewhat bent over with his tennis racket like he was getting ready to serve the ball and slightly hunched over to bounce the tennis ball on the court. Now, who can resist ANYONE being bent over? Not me. I got a splendid photo of me behind John, grabbing his little white-boy butt and wearing a surprised look on my face as if to say “oh my, these cheeks are firm!”

The Madame Tussaud Story
Next up was a rather boring Colonnial-times kind of themed room. It features stuff that was not much fun, because groping unknown people just isn’t as funny as groping celebrities. I think this room is supposed to depict how they make the wax dummies, but I don’t want to know the secrets behind the magic! Let’s move on to the fun room!

Rock and Pop
Next up is the Rock Star room. I got a picture snapped with Little Richard, getting my groove on with him. Then one with Bruce Springsteen (might I add that the people at Madame Tussaud’s made The Boss look stoned as all hell), and then the double-whammy Billy Idol shots! Billy has the usual Idol sneer on his face, his legs spread out, and all leather on. Oh yeah – you know what I did next. I got up on the platform that Billy is on and stood behind him, one hand reaching up between his spread legs and caressing the family jewels. You know you’d do it too. I also did a pose with him where I got on my knees and….well, you know. With that “I just came” sneer on his face, you almost have to do the BJ shot. It was at this beautiful moment that an older couple walked in on us and had a good chuckle. They ended up hanging back at every exhibit my friend and I stopped at so they could see my next pose.

Las Vegas Legends
So then the next room was the big one – the Legends exhibit. This is where I did more “cute Tammy” poses. I look so adorable standing behind Frank Sinatra and hugging him with my head peeking over his shoulder. I did work in a chest feel though, for that unique Tammy flavor. It is in this room that I also got my photo taken with a rather debonair Tony Bennett – giving him a cute little kiss, and with Liberace – showing him how nice and big my chest is. Also in this room is Siegfried and Roy (to whom I gave the double-fisted middle fingers), and one of the best dummies to pose with: Tom Jones. My picture with Tom has to be my favorite because he is in this pose where he is snapping his fingers and giving a cunning look. His snapping fingers just HAPPEN to be level with my chest, and so it looks exactly like he is giving me a tittie-twister. It is the most perfect picture, especially with my “oh my!” expression. I love that picture.

The Wedding Chapel
The last room features people who have gotten married in Vegas. The only interesting dummy in that room was Elvis, and I was happily surprised that it was the young, hot Elvis – not the old, fat, stoned Elvis. Also in this room is Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor, but I really didn’t care much for anything in this room other than getting my picture taken with Elvis. Surprise – it was a normal picture that I had taken for my Grandmother because she’s sweet on him.

Celebrity Encounter
At the end of the exhibit is a movie presentation in a theatre. It’s basically a tribute to the celebrities that have made Las Vegas the entertainment capital that it is, featuring movie clips and music. I didn’t stay for this feature because it seemed too touristy for me and I couldn’t pose with anything in it. So, my friend and I made our exit into the well-over-priced souveneir shop and walked back out onto the Strip.

So, there you have the Tammy Tour of Madame Tussaud’s wax museum! Make sure you take a camera with you for plenty of memorable pictures, and please be careful when touching the dummies – if you end up damaging any of these beautiful pieces of art then you will ruin it for people like me who want the privilege of groping them!

Visit Madame Tussaud’s on the Web by going to: http://www.madame-tussauds.com




Recommended: Yes