It's been one week since I laid my head down in Palace Station, advertised as the place to stay for Vegas locals. I'm still shuddering--and my suitcase still reeks of cigarette smoke--after being there for less than 10 hours.

The place was a dump--a supreme, run-down, dirty, less-than-customer-focused, dive. Granted, I paid very little for the room ($35 plus tax, about $42 total). I didn't expect anything fancy. What I got was an experience so rancid, I nearly canceled my good night in Vegas later in the week.

Location
Off the strip--and not in the nicest area, either. My cab ride from the airport cost $34--thanks to the ripoff artist who took me all over the city. How would I have known? My return fare cost $8.

Check-in
I don't care if it was 2 am--she could have TRIED to get me a non-smoking room. Or a room somewhat close to the main building. Instead, I ended up in a smoker, a LONG walk from the front desk; a walk that included an outdoor component through the service area, where several attractive, thin women in mighty short skirts were huddled. They seemed awfully disappointed when I stomped out the door--but perked up when a man came out. Offered him their company. Hmmmm.

The Room
Like I said, for $35, it's not bound to be luxurious. But for that rate, I want my key to work. When it didn't, I found a casino phone, called for help, and hunkered down to wait for security. While I was waiting, a man offered me $20 for 15 minutes. I declined. Sure, it's better money than epinions.com, but hey, I have principles.

$5 to the security guy and a 10 minute key struggle later, I was in, locks bolted and AC cranking. The window had both metal and concrete cages. The bed was a king, surprisingly firm, with clean sheets. A small armoire housed a TV with cable, and a small table and chairs rounded up the furniture. Cheap indeed, but functional. Truly hideous color scheme--sort of a brown and orange theme. There was also a large safe, but that required a $2 daily fee and I was just there to crash.

Can You Call it a Bathroom if it only has a shower?
Small, functional, and clean, with slippery tiles and a small toilet. Corner shower stall was tiny and efficient. They did provide soap and shampoo.

Casino
In the morning, I decided to play a little. Real little. I had 5 minutes and $50. After wasting $10 in quarters, I sat at a 5 cent machine, popped in $5, and promptly won the max jackpot of $300. That, my friends, was the highlight of my stay. The casino attendant paid me quickly, in big bills, and seemed pleased when I tipped her.

Granted, it was early, but the casino was fairly empty, and held none of the typical Las Vegas glitz. If anything, the atmosphere was sort of a 7-11 at 3 am feel--everyone bleary-eyed, pathetic, and desperate.

Shops and Restaurants
I didn't bother. The gift shops were bigger than I expected, with the usual assortment of Vegas merchandise. Restaurants include the usual mix--buffet, cafe, Tex-Mex, Italian, Steak, and Asian. Room service was available, but I satisfied myself with snack mix and water from the plane. With all the creatures crawling in the hallways, I had no desire to meet anything from behind the scenes.

Bottom line
Never, never, never again. I sacrificed safety and convenience for the illusion of a low price--and ended up spending the same amount I would've spent for a nice room on the strip. Never mind my $300 win. This place was the worst hotel I've ever endured. Run!



Recommended: No