Peeing in a Strainer Does Not Rock.
Written: Jul 20 '01
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Product Rating:
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Pros: you get a cute lil' souvenir, or something.
Cons: um, you have kidney stones, and you're asking me what the cons of this are?!
The Bottom Line: Is that a kidney stone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
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| emptywishes's Full Review: Kidney Stone Formers Club Quarterly Magazine |
So I was about ten when I noticed a weird, white, plastic funnel with a metal screen at the bottom, sitting on my bathroom. So I did the only thing I could do... asked.
My dad told me he had a kidney stone and he had to pee through this so he would know when it came out. I said "oh." That was enough info for me at that point. In fact, to this day that's enough info. I don't need to know the details of my father's bathroom ritual.
However, I do know that it hurt. Therefore, I know that I don't want kidney stones, and unless you're some sort of s&m freakazoid, you probably don't either. So, I present to you: kidney stone factoids.
Men Get 'Em More Than Us Girls.
While I think that hardly makes up for that whole period/pregnancy deal, I suppose it evens things out a wee bit. However, I do not suggest bringing this up to your hormonal, pregnant woman... you may have worse things to worry about than kidney stones when she's done with you.
Science is Baffled.
Well, somewhat baffled... the exact cause of kidney stone formage (yes, it's a word) is unknown at this point, but a few ideas are being thrown around most frequently. The most common thought cause is a high vitamin D intake. Genetics may play a part, as well as calcium-based antacids. Basically, it's a crapshoot. Cross your fingers, kids.
What's a Kidney Stone Made Of?
Are you *really* so nerdy that you want to know this? If your friends find out, they'll laugh you out of town. But if you really must know, most frequently they're calcium oxalate-based. If you want more details than that, find someone who cares.
How Will I Know I Have One?
It'll hurt! Duh. Nausea and vomiting can also occur. Sometimes there is blood present in urine. However, if fever or chills are present, this is most likely a sign of infection, and you should see a doctor immediately (although I would hope if you thought you had a kidney stone, you would have already been to the doctor at least once).
Going, Going, Gone!
Most stones can be passed by drinking tons of water, and peeing a whole lot. However, sometimes it is necessary for doctors to use shockwaves to break the stone into smaller pieces, or even to surgically remove it. Hence why you should have gone to the doctor when you noticed that you were in pain and peeing blood! Stupid home remedies...
I'm Scared, Hold Me.
Drinking lots of water can help you avoid the hell that is kidney stones. Also avoiding foods with high oxalate levels, such as rubarb, cola, beets, chocolate, and beer (nooooooo!). In my not-so-professional opinion, I say screw that, and just hope that you don't get one.
My dad's weird doctor allowed him to *keep* his kidney stone as some weird sort of souvenir. I don't dare ask if he actually still has it lying around somewhere. That would be gross.
For more information, why not check out the Kidney Stone Formers Club Quarterly? For only 15 USD, this insightful publication can be delivered to your door (well, mailbox). Make sure to check out the horoscopes!
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This is a part of the oh-so-lovely "Rock Off" W/O. For some more rokken (like dokken) submissions, check out:
Christoff
eplovejoy
Fez_Monkey
Grouch
Hypotenuse (hostess person)
jarno_m_l
jkkelley
Joubert
mangiotto
prfstars
purplewiz
scmrak (hostie person)
sleestakk
Sloucho
Sordid-1
sumo_rhino
sundogg99
teddiec
wiseokc
Recommended:
Yes
Recommended For: Hobbyists/Enthusiasts
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Epinions.com ID:
emptywishes
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 - Top 1000 |
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Location: the land of fries and toast, apparently.
Reviews written: 185
Trusted by: 163 members
About Me:
Still alive. Find me here: http://www.francophoney.net
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