A Delightful Mish-Mash of "the Stuff that Surrounds You"
Written: Nov 24 '00 (Updated Nov 24 '00)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: fantastic writing, photography, layouts
Cons: cover price
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| wannabe_writer's Full Review: Wallpaper* Magazine |
I walked into the local Barnes & Noble to find my date nursing a hazelnut-flavored steamed milk. “Have you been waiting long?” I asked. He shook his head and pushed an open magazine across the table to me. The article of apparent interest was entitled “Things to Make You Appear Smart.” I raised my eyebrows and threw him a wry glance. “What are you trying to tell me?” I asked him. He pointed to the number one listing: Find yourself a willowy thoroughbred for inspiration… Taking a gulp of his haute breuvage, he winked at me and said, “That you could be my muse.”
Nice.
I later scurried back to the Barnes & Noble in search of the magazine he had shown to me. I have an ego wall at work, but it’s not full of framed diplomas. It’s a little corner by my desk that cannot be seen unless you are sitting in my chair. I’ve tacked up all kinds of ego-boosting images for when I’m having a bad day. A recent Nokia ad, for example: It’s brain is huge. It just happens to be wrapped in a very small, thin body. A very optimistic caricature of me in front of the Eiffel Tower (yeah...sure I look like that…) I thought the “Muse” page from the latest issue of Wallpaper* would make a fine addition.
I had never heard of Wallpaper* before, but I bought it anyway, even though it was $7.95. My ego must have really been hurting for me to spend eight bucks just to get a scrap of paper. I justified the purchase by thinking to myself, “I’ll just write an epinion on it. After a year, I’ll have almost recouped my investment.”
Happily, Wallpaper* is good for much more than decorating the wall behind my filing cabinet. It is a harmonious amalgam of everything I like best in my favorite magazines: the fabulous eye-candy of high fashion advertisements, the snobbishness that doesn’t take itself too seriously, the clean European layouts, the global emphasis, the fantastic writing style.
I am amazed that a single magazine is able to cover so many topics and still maintain consistency. This is what airline magazines should be: an eclectic mix spanning subjects from architecture to education, trivia to careers, entertainment to recipes, news to travel, all in order to achieve mass appeal. Unfortunately, airline magazines aren’t written this well. Wallpaper* reports all of these things (what they call "the stuff that surrounds you") with a kind of self-deprecating sarcasm, as if the writers are fully aware of their somewhat pretentious style and the highbrow nature of their readers. This alone makes the magazine an absolute pleasure to read.
Ladies and Gentlemen, for your consideration: Rule #1 of the Wallpaper* guide to book club meetings. Members must always make an effort in the wardrobe department. Dressing down does not mix with Dostoevsky. Rule #5? It’s also an international rule that you must have a handful of members who are more interested in discussing auto-bronzers and boob jobs than Brontë. This guarantees all meetings will generate intrigue and gossip, and the lucky few will get it on.
Wallpaper* isn’t all fun and games, though. The issues are chock-full of well-written, thoroughly investigated features about various and sundry subjects like foreign languages, artists, bribery and interior design. Wallpaper* also covers a bit of fashion and beauty, but the magazine is not directed specifically toward women or men. There is just as much talk of good aftershave as there is of all-in-one makeup.
The paper is high quality and substantial. The magazine’s photo-illustrations are advertisement-worthy. The humor is dry. The trivia is absurd, but interesting. (A recent “life lesson” from Wallpaper* focused on how to disappear and take on an alternate identity in ten not-so-simple steps.)
But I suppose you’re all still wondering about the “Things to Make You Appear Smart.” For your reading pleasure, here is the excerpt from the October 2000 issue of Wallpaper*.
01 A Muse
Find yourself a willowy thoroughbred for inspiration – every self-respecting designer has one. Well, no one likes to shop alone.
02 A Craftsman’s Pen
The pen is mightier than the pseud – a stylish stylo is perfect for pondering and for jotting down big, clever words you hear.
03 A Library of Classics
Keep one with you at all times, scan strategically and quote at random. But never say ‘that’s totally Plato.’
04 A Passion for Music
Nothing lends an air of intelligence like really knowing the score, be it Mahler, Mendelssohn or Morales (though, obviously, not Mariah).
05 A Pair of Spectacles
Glasses make you look focused (think what they could have done for Einstein). Just don’t rest them on the top of your head.
If this excerpt made you grin, you should definitely consider a subscription to Wallpaper*; there are 400+ more pages where that came from. At $70 for a ten-issue subscription, Wallpaper* ain’t cheap, but it’s worthwhile entertainment. It’s probably even better than the last best-selling novel you bought for the same price.
Recommended:
Yes
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Epinions.com ID:
wannabe_writer
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Member: Melanie
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Reviews written: 68
Trusted by: 164 members
About Me:
Self-proclaimed snob proud to know the proper usage of the words "nauseous," "nauseated" and "nauseating."
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