Pros: Naked Women, Hot Sex, Hometown Honeys, Humor
Cons: Ridiculously liberal articles, Ads
If you ever watched the Beavis and Butthead Show, you probably know of the episode where the gym coach was teaching sex education. Beavis and Butthead couldn't stop laughing during the terminology part, and I have to admit stifling a laugh when certain words are used. Perhaps guys never grow up, but I roar when I think about the gym coach from that episode saying "We are going to talk about the penis. We are going to talk about the vagina. We are even going to talk about..........masturbation!" That has got to be my favorite episode, as its very juvenile, and sadly its something that I can even associate as a somewhat grown up thirtysomething. There's something so viscerally funny about it, and there have been times on my job where I've had to deal with such language, and it takes every bone in my body to not just bust out laughing, like that scene involving "tallywhackers" in Porky's.
Hustler Magazine has been around for years, and its always been the more hardcore competitor, to publications such as Playboy and Penthouse. This is due to the audacity of its owner, Larry Flynt, who's been in more legal battles than Johnnie Cochran ever was. He is no doubt a controversial figure, who has an extremely leftist agenda, but I have to admit admiring him for his constant fights for 1st amendment rights. This man has taken his arguments all the way to the Supreme Court, and while he's certainly made a lot of enemies, his publication is generally admired as a excellent adult publication. It is released every month, and Hustler has been the source of mystique for many. This is because unlike the mainstream magazines, Hustler shows full penetration, and they don't get squeamish with any layout style.
Sure, Hustler has a Honey every month, just like Playboy does with its centerfolds. While there are some similarities, such as a section about the particular model, the differences are stark contrasts. The Honey model "shows everything" up close and personal, where as the Playboy Bunny might offer a slight glance at their "equipment." The Honeys are no doubt "hot", and completely "doable", but you aren't going to see the same type of true beauty that you'll see in Mr. Hefner's magazine. I've noticed a trend of brunettes featured in the Hustler Honey section, which is a good thing, since other magazines tend to focus on blondes exclusively, not that there's anything wrong with that. Hustler also tends to feature more women of African American and Hispanic backgrounds, which I greatly appreciate, as variety is the spice of life.
Whoever came up with the title "Movie Mammaries", I'd like to thank them. That's just too hilarious! This section shows a lot of pictures of celebrities in movies naked. You might not see "A listers", but it will be people that you recognize. Usually what they do is feature two celebrities in this section, and have a listing of all the movies they perform naked in. The text area describes what parts of the movie, and sometimes shows what that person was thinking when engaging in a hot sex scene during a cinematic production. In front of this is the Famous Flesh picture, which is a revealing look at a famous singer or actress caught off guard. These are usually a bit lame, but entertaining enough for a quick glance.
The Blue Movie Showcase is simply awesome! The penis rating system, whether its soft or rock hard is always good for a laugh. Here you can learn about new adult movies, and see who's starring in them. There are usually four or five screen shot photos for each one, and they are graphic in nature. Hustler is not afraid to show anything, and to their credit, I think this is "ballsy". You can expect to see full penetration, oral sex pictures, and all kinds of threesomes with so much bending, you wonder "Could I really do that?" Its fun learning about the new starlets that appear on DVD's, and a way to keep up with the industry, which is worth billions every year. There are different writers for each one, so you can notice trends on what they are looking for in a cinematic production.
I love the Hometown Honeys area of each magazine. Here you can see really hot women naked, that post their pictures every month. I've been looking for Mrs. Robinson, but haven't found her yet. Some of the women in here are "so so", but the majority of them, I've wondered "Why weren't they needing me to shovel their driveway when I was younger?" Most of the women take it all off, but several of them provide a bootie shot, or perhaps show their boobs. Apparently, Hustler pays a decent amount for contest winners, so I guess I now understand what the motivation is. Some months this section is only a page or two, but every once in awhile there are five pages of hometown honey's showing it all.
The rest of the magazine is hardcore. You can expect a three to four page layout of lesbians, along with a young woman getting drilled by a man who's hung like a horse. There are also four or five sections dedicated to naked models showing full views of their equipment, and the majority of them are very good looking. Hustler seems to favor Indian women, which is hard to find elsewhere, and I'm thankful for that. They also tend to have at least one section of this featuring a porn starlet. This is pretty cool, as you can learn who's hot in the industry now, and get an idea of who to look for the next time at the adult video store.
As for written sections, its a lot of very liberal propaganda. To their credit, Hustler has tried to start writing some serious articles about world affairs, although you aren't going to get the same quality as you'd expect in a mainstream adult magainze. You aren't going to get chicken recipes either, but you'll get several chuckles from their cartoons. They are truly dirty, but as someone with a mind of that nature, I always find them to be more than amusing enough. Some of their sex advice is funny as well, as it is no holds barred, and I sometimes think that perhaps I'm not too freaky after all. Yet I've also gotten some good ideas to spice up the bedroom here, so there are some suggestions that might be applicable to most.
There are a fair amount of ads in each issue, and the whole back section is dedicated to them. The majority of them are phone sex lines, adult websites, and the new vibrating d*ldo that also can jump start a car. With each 180 page issue, expect about fifty pages or so to be covered with ads. Some of these are okay though, as a lot of the phone line ads feature beautiful women on them. Hustler is $11.99 an issue, so its not cheap, and it would make sense to subscribe to it for a huge savings. You can order directly from the publisher, or go to several magazine outlets for a much cheaper price. Hustler is one of the best adult publications out there, and the action in each issue is always hot, so be sure to pick one up and take a look.