What with all the hype of Michael Jackson's farewell stage performances, I figured I should give him a little attention.

Well, maybe in a little bit. Let's concentrate on his brother instead!

Jermaine Jackson is known for few things, the least of which are the songs on this "greatest hits" collection. His voice isn't going to be remembered, so much as his glittery spandex body suits and the slick choreography he stumbled through behind his more famous brother. He'll also forever be immortalized in a very special Facts of Life episode where Tootie obsesses over the man and his music, leaving the audience to ask themselves and the show's writers one thing: was anybody really this obsessed with Jermaine Jackson?

There is only one reason I wanted this collection of music; Let's Get Serious is a horribly misleading song with a beat that works harder than anything Michael has ever done. That Mowtown-strut sound pumps through my speakers and I can't help but walk down the street like I'm the end-all/be-all of this world. Jermaine's voice isn't stellar, but it really suits that cool, stylized dance music that isn't quite pop and isn't quite disco, but a great combination of both. Unfortunately, this song serves as a polar opposite to Jermaine's other catalogue...at least, if Greatest Hits & Rare Classics is any indication of his style. What I found is that he's a sappy son of a mess, singing downtempo ballad that come a dime a dozen on any Time Warner Love Songs compilation.

Regardless of their respectable charting history, tracks like cover-song Daddy's Home don't impress me. The cheap production is irksome and is really shows how weak the man is vocally. I'm not saying he has to be able to belt it out like his contemporaries-- really, you just need to pick a musical style that matches your abilities-- but there needs to be a line. His whispering (near whiny) vocals are so sugary sweet that all I want to do is gargle an entire bottle of Listerine. On the plus side, he does like a very nice guy. If he is, it exudes through his genuine-sounding music. If we concentrate on the positives, the few dance tracks are great, if very cheesy. Let Me Tickle Your Fancy is overly stupid, but it's great fun, making use of 80s synth and Talking Heads-esque production. Very Special Part brings back the funk and steps out of the synth era drawing inspiration from his Mowtown background. We can hear the sound that Chic made a trend and then thousands capitalized on. Unfortunately, message wise, it's the same song as Let's Get Serious. "I'd like to get into giving you a very special part of my heart..." On the plus side, if you're dating Mr. Jackson, you can bet that he's gonna be monogamous.

But let's get back to the crap.

Castles of Sand. You're in Good Hands. Where Are You Now. If somebody could tell me what the hell people like about these songs, I could die happy. These songs have no melody, no hook, no catchy lyrics, and the vocals are lost to terrible production and mastering. I have nothing against ballads or downtempo songs, but they have to be worth it. If you ever wondered what a coma sounds like, it sounds like Jermaine's solo career as told by this compilation. You're Supposed to Keep Your Love For Me falls under the category of terrible album filler and stupidly cheesy ballad, but the melody isn't so bad. His voice, rather than annoying me, relaxes me a little here. The verses don't do much to hold my attention, but the chorus is honest and quiet, though it's not a complete throwaway. Out of the abundance of bad ballads on this collection, this is the one to keep. Regardless of an abundance of horrible songs, I'm greatly intrigued by how great his dance/disco tracks are. Despite this abysmal collection of album filler, I'm gonna dig deeper. Let's see what true classics have slipped through the cracks.



TRACK LIST

1. Daddy's Home (1 Star)
2. That's How Love Goes (3 Stars)
3. You're in Good Hands (1 Star)
4. Let's Be Young Tonight (1 Star)
5. You Need to Be Loved (1 Star)
6. Castles of Sand (1 Star)
7. Where Are You Now (1 Star)
8. You're Supposed to Keep Your Love for Me (4 Stars)
9. Let's Get Serious (5 Stars)
10. Little Girl Don't You Worry (3 Stars)
11. You Like Me Don't You (2 Stars)
12. I'm Just Too Shy (2 Stars)
13. Let Me Tickle Your Fancy (4 Stars)
14. Paradise in Your Eyes (3 Stars)
15. Very Special Part (5 Stars)
16. Burnin' Hot (3 Stars)

OVERALL SCORE: 2 Stars (2.5-)


Recommended: No