Boys Just Want to Write Epinions! (Elevdado: Six Degrees of the Eighties Write-Off)
Written: Aug 08 '01 (Updated Aug 15 '01)
Product Rating:
Pros: "Girls Just Want To Have Fun," "She Bop," "I'll Kiss You," Synthesizer music
Cons: "Money Changes Everything," "Yeah Yeah," Too much drums in parts
The Bottom Line: Overall, the music is upbeat, synthesized, and cool in a way that just can’t be understood by anyone who didn’t live through at least part of the eighties: A-
DavidK93's Full Review: She's So Unusual [Remaster] by Cyndi Lauper
The “Elevdado: Six Degrees of the Eighties Write-Off” continues to open doors for me, as this week it spurs me to write my very first music review. Well, okay, not technically my first; I wrote several pieces of unadulterated crap last fall, but I think that I have since deleted them all. Thus, this will be my first good music review.
Well, once again I seem to be using a topic that was covered in the invitational e-mail, and once again I must plead a birth in late 1981. But it just so happens that Cyndi Lauper was one of the first great loves of my life, and I couldn’t think of reviewing any CD but 1983’s She’s So Unusual. Let me tell you about my passionate love affair with Lady Lauper. Of course, it starts before I had even heard of her. My first favorite songstress was the divine Annie Lennox. When I was but two, I affectionately called her “Sweet Dreams Girl,” in honor of the Eurhythmics’ “Sweet Dreams are Made of This.” Indeed, my hatred of Marilyn Manson is caused primarily by his horrendous cover of that cherished song. When my third year came around, I discovered a new object for my affections: Miss Cyndi Lauper. With her wild hair of myriad reds and her irrepressible energy, she was like no woman I had ever seen before. I will forever remember her performance on (Geez, some memory; my mother will have to tell me what the awards program was called.), where she sang “True Colors” while painting on a glass screen. But with the fickleness of youth, I had spurned her for Tina Turner by the time I turned four.
Okay, I guess it’s time to talk about the tracks. Maybe this would be a good time to thank kristinafh for the format of this article. I have seen other use it since, but it was in one of Kristina’s reviews that I first saw the concept of listing all the tracks and analyzing them separately. I got ready for this by listening to the CD over and over again every time I used the computer, for a whole week. Then I sat down at my television with my Sony Playstation, and played each track on a loop, one at a time, while I wrote about them. So, here goes.
Track 01: “Money Changes Everything”
This song is a bit disappointing. By it’s title, it seems to promise an analysis of a basic truth of society. After all, money does change everything. I should know; my father recently destroyed his relationship with me by stealing six thousand dollars from my college trust fund (granted, with the intention of paying it back) and loaning it to his friend Linda so she could have a boob job. This song offers no such insight. The first verse describes a breakup, despite the fact that the two partners “swore each other everlasting love,” and suggests that the split is caused by money. Then, this premise seems to be abandoned, and the song doesn’t really go anywhere. As for the music, I like the synthesizer/harmonica that is prominently featured, but I feel that the drum is too strong a presence in some parts. Grade: C+
Track 02: “Girls Just Want To Have Fun”
From the synthesized vamp that starts it, through the ear-grabbing calypso/popping sounds that punctuate it (How do they make those, anyway?), up to the adorable little “yips” that bring it home, “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” is Cyndi Lauper’s signature song. It is a declaration of a woman’s independence from everything: her parents, men, and work. Cyndi sums it up best when she sings, “I want to be the one to walk in the sun..” The song isn’t suggesting that women are naturally irresponsible or flighty—only that the weight of the world shouldn’t rest exclusively and perpetually on their shoulders. I was at a regional convention for college residence hall association members last fall, and this song inspired a conga line to form. I was the only man in said line, but that was fine by me. This song is easy to dance to and is very upbeat. It is almost like an anthem for women who want to assert their independence by letting loose, and aren’t afraid to do it. A true eighties classic. Grade: A+
Track 03: “When You Were Mine”
This song confused me a little bit. Initially, it seemed straightforward enough. I was mainly hearing the chorus, in which the line “Love u more than I did when u were mine” clearly indicated that, after she lost this guy, she realized how much she loves him. Oldest story ever told, right? Well, then I noticed a few things she says to the guy (to whom, presumably, she is singing: “I use to let you wear all my clothes,” “U were kindasorta my best friend,” “he was there / Sleeping in between the two of us,” and “I know, that you’re going with another guy.” I just sort of looked at these lines and then exclaimed, “Oh, my God, he’s gay!” But then I checked the printed lyrics and found something unexpected: “Oh girl, when u were mine.” Even though I listened to that part over and over again, I really can’t hear the word “girl.” But, since it’s in the lyrics, I have to accept it as true. So, I guess she’s really a guy, singing to a girl, and nobody’s gay, except maybe Prince, who wrote the song. Whatever. I like the synthesized-sounding guitar, and the harpsichord-y instrument, as well as a nice bit near the end with a synthesized woodwind. The line “When u were mine” makes a good hook, along with its accompanying music, and it kind of stuck in my head from time to time. Oh, and there’s one moment where Cyndi’s voice goes way up that is not to be missed. Grade: B
Track 04: “Time After Time”
This is another well-known song of Cyndi Laupers--probably her best-known slow song, in fact. I actually had this single as a child. We’re talking about a 45 rpm record here. Oh, all right, go ask your mother about it, Kent. I’ll wait here. Anyway, Before I listened carefully, I guess I thought it was about a loving couple who are always there for each other. The chorus goes: “if you’re lost you can look--and you will find me / time after time / if you fall I will catch you--I’ll be waiting / time after time,” and it is sung by a man and a woman (the woman being Cyndi, of course), so I didn’t think too hard on it. But after listening to it recently, it occurs to me that I was slightly off the mark; it is about being supported by the memory of a loved one. There is recurring imagery about photographs and dreams, and that’s where the support comes from. The drums are thankfully understated in this song, and the instruments actually sound real instead of synthesized. Listen to the fullness of Cyndi’s voice when she sings “I will be waiting” during the second repetition within each chorus. And I love how her voice just fades into a recurring echo at the end. Grade: A
Track 05: “She Bop”
This song was actually the B side of that single I had. I truly do not believe that anybody but Cyndi Lauper could get away with these lyrics: “She bop – he bop – a – we bop / I bop – you bop – a – they bop ; be bop – be bop – a –lu – she bop.”” Speaking of getting away with lyrics, look at these: “blue boy magazine,” “good vibration,” “I wanna go south n get me some more,” “I better stop--or I’ll go blind,” “I hope He will understand,” “I can’t stop messing with the danger zone.” Yep, that’s right; in the proud tradition of “I Touch Myself” and “Turning Japanese,” this is a masturbation song! Yay! Wow, and she’s even using porn! You know, women rarely use porn. Kudos to Cyndi! The music is simple and repetitive, which suits the lyrics. It is punctuated by a whistling solo and some heavy breathing sounds. I’ll be she had a lot of fun recording this song. Grade: A
Track 06: “All Through The Night”
Okay, I’ll admit it: I didn’t really listen to the lyrics of this song until I was actually writing this. Geez, sure me! Well, the chorus summarizes it: “We have no past we won’t reach back / keep with me forward all through the night / and once we start the meter clicks / and it goes running all through the night / until it ends there is no end.” She wants them to simply forget everything that has ever gone before; their intimacy can be the start of their new lives. The song also advances the idea of the night as a purifier. I think this song was a single, because I recently heard it on the radio. There’s a nice synth-harp going on here, again with muted drums. Cyndi Lauper holds one mother of a long note during this song. Grade: A-
Track 07: “Witness”
Hey, it’s another song whose lyrics make no sense! Oh, joy! The chorus is “I don’t wanna be / I don’t wanna be / I don’t wanna be a witness,” which seems to suggest that she does not want to watch the things she sees happening either in the world, or to herself, or to the person to whom she is singing. That would be great, if the verses made sense. But look at this: “Jailbird chained to walk / how you used to--talk, talk, talk-- / but the melody--none at all my love--.” Arch! What does that mean?! The music is actually rather cool. Parts of it have a bit of a ska feel to it, and interesting things are done with percussion (interesting relative to most of the other songs, where drums basically just keep the beat.). However, this wears thin less than two minutes into the song (which runs longer than 3:30), because at that point it begins to consist solely of “I don’t wanna be,” “witness,” and “oh, oh, oh, oh.” That sort of repetition is normal at the end of a song, but begins far too early here. Even so, it did kind of stick in my head a little. Grade: B-
Track 08: “I’ll Kiss You”
I really like this song. It tells a story that is straightforward enough, with plenty of fun detail: Cyndi buys a bottle of love potion #9 from a Gypsy and proceeds to become nymphomaniacally possessed. The chorus goes “I’ll Kiss you / gonna corner you and not let you go / I’ll Kiss you / don’t tell me nothing – I – I – don’t wanna know / and twideley – dee – and twidely – dum / I’ll Kiss you, I’ll Kiss you, I’ll Kiss you,” which pretty much paints the picture for you; she wants to “Kiss” (heh, heh, heh) every man in sight. I know I’ve had that feeling before, of just wanting to have sex. NOW!!! The high-impact tempo of this song makes me want to pump my shoulders, and the guitar riffs inspire me to practically flail about as I dance with reckless abandon. There’s lots of great synthesizer music here, especially near the end, plus well-used drums. Grade: A+
Track 09: “He’s So Unusual”
This is a cute little fluff piece, written in 1929. For reasons that will become apparent when I write about the next track, I think it is a Betty Boop piece of some sort. Well, anyway, this song is short enough that I might as well give you all the lyrics: “You talk of sweeties bashful sweeties / I’ve got one of those / oh he’s handsome as can be / but he worries me / he goes to college / and gathers knowledge / oo, what that boy knows / he’s up on his Latin and Greek / but in his chicin’ he’s weak cause, / When I want some lovin’ / and I gotta have some lovin’ / He says please stop it please / he’s so unusual…” So, he’s unusual because he doesn’t want to get it on with her. Having a man’s insight into the male psyche, I would have to agree; that is unusual! I can think of two possible reasons for this behavior: 1) He really is that serious a student, or 2) His is gay. However, I strongly suspect that behavior 1) is usually a willful attempt to deny fact 2). Take, for example, my friend Reid. Like me, Reid is about to be a college junior. He has only ever had one girlfriend, in seventh grade (mine was in eleventh), and claims that his lack of interest in girls (or even sex at all) Is a result of his intense dedication to his studies. However, my mother has said for years that she thinks he is gay, and I have received similar opinions from numerous people who know him. Well, anyway, the song is cute. The only music is a piano, and it is made to sound scratchy like an old record player. With the old-school characteristics of the song, this technique works. Grade: B+
Track 10: “Yeah Yeah”
“He’s So Unusual” spills directly into “Yeah Yeah” with barely half a second’s pause. I didn’t even realize at first that they are two separate tracks, as the former seems to provide a fitting introduction to the latter; they share a common theme--that of inability to consummate a love. You see, in this song, Cyndi is essentially telling a guy how badly she wants him. The whole song is punctuated by exclamations that sound a lot like the voice that Cyndi uses in “He’s So Unusual.” A few of the most audible and memorable exclamations are “Sushi?! I love sushi!,” “Oh I couldn’t aspire to anything higher.,” and “You know I would let him pet / but the darn phooey doesn’t let me / cause he’s so unusual / that drives me wild / bum-bum-be-dum.” That last one, which ends the song, was what convinced me that it’s supposed to be Betty Boop. And except for that last one, the freaky random quotes are actually a bit annoying and distracting. Oh, and another quick note about the Betty Boop parts on tracks 09 (The entirety of that track, in fact) and 10: They are purely stereo. When I listened to the CD on a computer, I could hear them. But then I listened to it on my Sony Playstation, which is plugged into my non-stereo television, and I could only hear these parts if I took the red “Stereo” plug from the Playstation and put it into my television set’s white “Audio” port. Don’t ask me why. This song has a saxophone thing going on that I liked, but that was pretty much all I liked. Each line of the lyrics is sung first by a chorus (I think it’s a man and a woman) and then repeated by Cyndi, except for the third verse, where Cyndi sings first. Well, I use the word “sing” rather loosely, since the chorus chants while Cyndi yells. Grade: C-
So, overall, the music is upbeat, synthesized, and cool in a way that just can’t be understood by anyone who didn’t live through at least part of the eighties. Overall Grade: A-
QF1 (For a full explanation of QF, please visit my profile page)
As I mentioned, there are a few lyrics that made me wonder, “Is this a gay thing?” All results of ponderings were inconclusive.
Duty now compels me to connect this CD to Kevin Bacon. Well, Cyndi Lauper played Mary (the one with the little lamb) in 1990’s Mother Goose Rock ‘n’ Rhyme, while Harry Anderson played Peter Piper. It seems that Mr. Anderson had a recurring role as Harry “The Hat” Gittes on Cheers, which of course eventually spun Kelsey Grammer off onto his own show, Frasier. And in 1994, the ranks of celebrities who have done voice cameos on that show grew to include none other than Kevin Bacon. Four degrees.
This has been my second entry in the “Elevdado: Six Degrees of the Eighties Write-Off” sponsored by levda and elvisdo. This is a three-part write-off; last week I wrote about an eighties sitcom, Who’s The Boss? (That review is at http://www.epinions.com/content_1925685380), while next week I will review an eighties movie (I’ll add the link when the review is written.). The other participants are:
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