lambchops's Full Review: For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge by Van Halen
Let me preface this review by stating that this album holds the most overplayed song in rock history. You know the one. ”Right Now” was everywhere including on television thanks to an unsuccessful 1992 ad campaign to sell Crystal Pepsi (which I actually liked, mind you) to the masses.
Van Halen has been around for what seems like ages. Through the years, they’ve have problems keeping lead singers around for long. First it was David Lee Roth, then Sammy Hagar, and most recently Gary Cherone. Despite the problems keeping a vocalist, the three other members have remained a constant since the band was loosely formed in 1972. Eddie Van Halen is famous for his guitar talents while big brother Alex Van Halen beats away on the drums. Michael Anthony holds his own on the bass guitar.
It’s unnecessary to talk at length about Van Halen’s success. They’ve released twelve albums beginning with their 1978 self titled debut and most recently 1998’s Van Halen III (their worst-selling album to date). They’ve contributed songs to over twenty one motion picture soundtracks. Van Halen’s albums have sold over 60 million copies and have spent a total of 726 weeks on the charts. Only one single ever topped the charts. ”Jump” from the uber-popular and aptly titled 1984 spent five weeks at the top during the same year. What these numbers mean is that the band has remained hugely popular throughout their over two decades in the spotlight.
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge was yet another popular album for the band. Released in the midst of the grunge revolution (1991), the album somehow managed to sell 3.8 million copies and peaked at number one on the Billboard Charts. By this point in time lead singer Sammy Hagar seemed to be a permanent fixture (although I’m admittedly more a fan of David Lee Roth) and the band’s sound was solid and steadfast. Fans and rock listeners knew exactly what to expect from Van Halen. This quality is also what led to many of these otherwise decent songs being over played on rock radio in the early 1990’s. Now it seems that I’m mildly annoyed by tracks that otherwise are decent rock tunes.
With eleven tracks, For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (abbreviate that for fun) is an average length album. Most of the songs are between four and five minutes…just enough time to either love or hate the track. The album was released by Warner Brothers in 1991…I bought it on tape the same year in part due to the success of no fewer than six songs.
Track Listing:
1. Poundcake
2. Judgement Day
3. Spanked
4. Runaround
5. Pleasure Dome
6. In ‘N’ Out
7. Man on a Mission
8. The Dream is Over
9. Right Now
10. 316
11. Top of the World
First and foremost, let’s get this out of the way. Van Halen with Sammy Hagar all sounds pretty much the same to my ears. ”Poundcake” features some of Eddie’s drill-guitar work in the beginning, but as a whole it sounds very much like other songs on this album. The lyrics aren’t profound…they are just meant to sound nice together and rock (like hard rock should). I just wish that it were better music.
I do enjoy ”Runaround”. It’s got lots of energy with driving guitars and drums. Hagar seems to be strutting a bit. His voice is full of attitude…something that some of these other average sounding songs seriously lack. My favorite part of the track are these words:
I won't, but I want it
Oh, what a fool believes
I got her in my sight, but just outta reach. Oh-oh!
It’s nice that these songs all kind of have the same feel, but it seems so dated. The music hasn’t carried over to today very well. ”Judgement Day” seems forced and ridiculous. A bad cover bad could’ve come up with a better Van Halen track. ”Spanked” also lacks vigor and zest. It’s just a crumbling mess of stereotypical rock melodies. Ick. I have no need for the overly long and melodramatic ”Pleasure Dome”. The band seems to have been trying something a big tender and ultimately different, but they’ve failed miserably.
”In ‘N’ Out” is sour and stale…and in retrospect I thought the same thing when it came out. Van Halen desperately needed to evolve at least a little with this album. Instead, listeners were handed a pitiful rehash of OU812. The only thing that really continues to shine is Eddie Van Halen’s guitars, but they are even starting to sound a bit old.
The band also seemed to be trying something ‘different’ with ”Man on a Mission”. These ten years later, I am annoyed by the squealing guitars and Hagar’s voice that has little range. He always sounds exactly the same, something that helps to make all of these songs sound very much the same. ”The Dream is Over” was a relatively popular single. I remember enjoying when it was played on the radio. Alas, its appeal doesn’t carry over well. The melody is nice, but it happens too late in the song. And, to make matters worse, Eddie’s guitars are too all consuming. He’s a talented guy but sometimes he overplays and drowns out all good things in a song.
And then there is ”Right Now.” At one point in time this song seemed relevant and interesting. Coming in the wake of the fall of the Berlin Wall and various other world changing events, it was a great song. The video was interesting, with most of the song’s meaning being played out in words on the screen. But Pepsi bought the band out and polluted TV and radio with the otherwise decent track. To make matters worse, the band sold it’s soul for a product that lasted a very short time. The piano in ”Right Now” is nice. It’s a lot more musically complex and well-thought out than some of the guitar-heavy tracks. Too bad that it was so heavily played on radio and television.
”316” is a nice little instrumental track. It showcases Eddie’s real guitar talent rather than just focusing on him wailing away. Delicate and soft are two words that are proper descriptors of this brief track.
The song that has carried over best from this album is also it’s last ”Top of the World” is loud and guitar-laden as with the rest of these tracks. What is different is it’s bigger focus on Hagar’s voice and the catchy chorus. That chorus is what I think has led this song to still be played on radio stations. It’s not a great song, just better than the majority of this album’s offerings.
In retrospect, this album was probably a bad purchase. There are some good elements, but as a whole it seems somehow empty and lackluster in comparison to some of the band’s earlier albums. It deserves a rating of just 3/5 songs. Van Halen was in a creative and musical rut with For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. I won’t recommend this album to listeners. For ‘fans’ it may be a necessary purchase, but casual fans should look to the past and buy albums from Van Halen when David Lee Roth was singing. 1984 is a classic as are most of the other early 1980’s albums from the band.
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