Having just completed a review of the magnificent album Hot Rats, I now embark on the veritable journey from the sublime to the ridiculous with this follow-up review of Cruising With Ruben & The Jets, released in 1968. It was the fifth album produced by Frank Zappa and a remarkable disappointment. After stunning the musical world of the late-sixties with the likes of Freak Out! and We're Only in it for the Money, Zappa stunned us all in quite another way with this fiasco. Zappa and his crew were apparently sitting around one evening, waxing nostalgic for the simplicities of the fifties and decided to indulge their yearnings with an impromptu jam session in the Doo-Wop style – what Zappa describes as "greasy love songs and cretin simplicity."

I recall that era well myself, since I was born just three years later than Zappa. The music of the fifties was certainly simplistic, but not without its melodic and rhythmic charms. Unfortunately, what Zappa and The Mothers (er . . ., The Jets) have produced here has little of the charm of the original. Moreover, it's tough to effectively satirize a brand of music that was very nearly self-satirizing in the original. Whether viewed as "authentic" or as "satire," the material on this album is uniformly poor.

Performing here with Zappa is the usual line-up of culprits from the early versions of The Mothers of Invention: Ray Collins (lead vocals), Roy Estrada (electric bass, falsetto vocals), Jimmy Ray Black and Art Tripp (drums), Ian Underwood (keyboards, tenor sax, and alto sax), Don Preston (keyboards), Motorhead Sherwood (baritone sax and tambourine), and Bunk Gardner (sax).

The tracts on this album consist of the following:

1. Cheap Thrills
2. Love of My Life
3. How Could I Be Such a Fool
4. Deseri
5. I'm Not Satisfied
6. Jelly Roll Gum Drop
7. Anything
8. Later That Night
9. You Didn't Try to Call Me
10. Fountain of Love
11. No No No
12. Anyway the Wind Blows
13. Stuff Up The Cracks

Few of the individual tracts are better than one-star pieces. Most are simply pathetic, lacking the polish of genuine Doo-Wop originals. Although Zappa introduces a few creative harmonics here and there, it's not nearly enough to save listeners from boredom with the entire endeavor. With a bit of a stretch, I could give two stars to "Jelly Roll Gum Drop" and three to "You Didn't Try to Call Me." Four of the songs included on this album were previously (and better) rendered on Zappa's debut album, Freak Out!; namely, "You Didn't Try to Call Me," "I'm Not Satisfied," "Any Way The Wind Blows," and "How Could I Be Such a Fool."

I'm not one to hold the music of the fifties in such cherished reverence as to be offended by it being satirized. I've always enjoyed musical satire (e.g., Spike Jones) when it's catchy, charming, and musically appealing. Cruising with Ruben & The Jets has none of those appeals. One reviewer of this album asserts that some of these songs could have been hits if produced a decade earlier. I guarantee that none of these songs would have generated any interest alongside the authentic Doo-Wop hits of the fifties, such as "Earth Angel," "Over the Mountain," or "Let the Good Times Roll." Certainly, I don't begrudge the lads involved with this album an evening of playing in the style of the oldies, but why inflict this material on an unwitting public? Two of the song titles pretty much sum up my feelings about this album: "I'm Not Satisfied" and "How Could I Be Such a Fool" as to buy such junk.

If you dislike Doo-Wop music, avoid this album! If you enjoy Doo-Wop music, avoid this album! If you like good musical satire, avoid this album! Zappa fan or not – avoid this album!!

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You can quickly link to my other Zappa CD reviews at:

A Frank Zappa Categorical Discography & Top Choice Lists

You can check out my reviews of Zappa-related books at:

The Real Frank Zappa Book
Ben Watson: Frank Zappa – the Complete Guide to his Music
Barry Miles: Zappa – A Biography

Recommended: No

Great Music to Play While: Sleeping