lambchops's Full Review: Love, Peace & Money by Die Toten Hosen
Any band that names themselves the German equivalent of “The Dead Trousers” really needs to get a handle on themselves—for a band with such a crazy name, they do take themselves rather seriously with all this talk of love and peace and money.
It is purported that Die Toten Hosen is a Deutch punk/metal band. But in all honesty, I don’t see anything but a band trying too hard to fit an artificial and stale mold on their first and only English-language major label release Love, Peace & Money. The 1995 release is boring, bland, and in the end it is crystal clear why they never have gotten much attention stateside and why the band’s nearly ten full-length albums have been largely ignored. Die Toten Hosen sounds like every other painfully uninspired rock band of the mid-1990’s. And if they are indeed punk, that part doesn’t show through much at all.
Love, Peace & Money leaves me with an overwhelming feeling of “so what now.” The five-man outfit didn’t go by their birth names but took on assumed names instead to avoid the confusion that could have been caused by four guys with the given name Andreas. But I don’t much care about confusion—I’m just confused by the band’s identity as a whole. On lead vocals is Andreas Frege and backing him up are guitarist Andreas Breitkopf, rhythm guitarist Andreas Von Holst, bassist Andreas Meurer, and finally drummer Wolfgang Rohde.
It seems to me that there is a very good reason why Die Toten Hosen was dropped from Atlantic after one record. I’m pretty certain the album didn’t sell well, but more so is the fact that Love, Peace & Money pretty much bit the big one. Really, one listen left a bad taste in my mouth and subsequent glimpses only made it worse. Die Toten Hosen sounds like the bastard child of Motley Crue and Social Distortion. And while both of those bands are good, Die Toten Hosen is definitely not even close. Love, Peace & Money came to me free—and I’m pleased that I wasn’t dumb enough to shell out one red cent.
At fifteen songs in length, the album gets old quickly and stays that way for pretty much the whole time. Even worse is that some of the songs are truly, completely, and absolutely aurally offensive. And the disc starts out completely awfully with a three-part rock symphony called Return of Alex. First is a true classical symphony. But all hell breaks lose when Frege screams painfully. The third part (keep in mind it all happens within about 45 seconds) is just a lackluster rock song. Not bad really, but as preceded by Frege’s scream I can’t do anything but hate it. Really—it is that bad. The song is upbeat, but if this is supposed to be punk/rock/metal I’m sorely disappointed. It sounds like hair metal first and foremost. There’s no heart or inspiration to any of Die Toten Hosen’s work. And considering, my friends, that is the apparent best of Love, Peace & Money it should go without saying that the album manages to go DOWN in quality as it continues.
I’m not sure what my dear sister was thinking when she bought this album—but I’m betting she was in her “German” phase. Die Toten Hosen tries to be hard and profound and “punk” rock ala Bad Religion on Year 2000. Uh. No, I can’t believe one damn bit of it. The song’s (and album’s) sound is dated even now and was even then. Funny thing is that from all reports (and I refuse to verify them as none of the band’s subsequent material is supposed to be even close to decent) Die Toten Hosen hasn’t changed their sound even today.
It is not necessary to go through and single out songs. None is worthwhile. Not one. I’m confused by lead singer Frege—he sounds British. Yes, BRITISH. He possesses not a whit of a German accent and instead tries painfully to be a hip Londoner. In the end he sounds like pure, reeking crap. A few songs are slower, more “pop” and more melodic (if you can call their sound at all “melodic”). All For The Sake Of Love, Diary of a Lover (this acoustic crap-festival is HORRID), and My Land are all examples of this sad attempt at something different and heartfelt. A few are louder, faster and more energetic but pull a bit too much on long dead metal subgenres as in the case of Love Song, Sexual, and Love Is Here.
None of these songs is worth hearing, therefore Love, Peace & Money is an utter and complete failure as far as albums go. Die Toten Hosen goes to prove that Punk Metal never had much of a place in the world—it’s too bad that the little “punk” pop boys of today never got the message. Record deals come easy and go easy. And it should come as no big shock that this disc has long since gone out of print. It is dead, and gone, and I honestly and completely hope it never sees the light of day again. Perhaps if Love, Peace & Money been of a different time maybe I could respect it more. But considering I can’t stand anything about it now it is hard for me to truly believe that.
Love, Peace & Money is the worst kind of album. Derivative, boring, plain, painful, and completely and absolutely ugly. If you see it at Half.com or your local used record store please, for your own health and well-being, run the other direction and scream like a little girl.
And please remember, I cannot by any means comment on the band itself or their other albums. I have not and will not investigate them further. Love, Peace & Money was definitely enough to make me cringe at the very thought of Die Toten Hosen.
Rating: 1/5 stars
Track Listing:
01. The Return of Alex
02. Year 2000
03. All For The Sake Of Love
04. Lovesong
05. Sexual
06. Diary Of A Lover
07. Put Your Money Where...
08. Love Is Here
09. More & More
10. My Land
11. Wunsch Dir Was
12. Wasted Years
13. Perfect Criminal
14. Love Machine
15. Chaos Bros.
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