lambchops's Full Review: Rock Crown by Seven Mary Three
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…Seven Mary Three never belonged on MTV or in the recording studio for that matter. Their songs, while occasionally entertaining for a moment or two, aren’t worth a single listen. So the fact that they continue churning out at best mediocre, and at worst crappy albums is an absolute travesty.
Seven Mary Three was formed in 1993 in the midst of the long-dead Seattle sound. Hailing from Virginia, the foursome has to date released gagged up four albums. The best of the ugly bunch, 1995’s American Standard, fortunately is the only one to get any real attention thanks to two mediocre hit singles Water’s Edge and Cumbersome. Aside from those tracks, the album was rubbish.
For some reason Jason Ross (vocals, guitar), J. Pollock (guitar, vocals), Casey Daniel (bass), and Giti Khalsa (drums) returned to the studio and in doing so unleashed a nearly unbearable amount of torture on to a few thousand unfortunate listeners. Oh yes, it’s hard to believe but 1997’s Rock Crown is bad…so bad that even a free copy of the album isn’t enough to make it worthwhile (this is the way I acquired it, FYI). And to compound the problems on this post-grunge disaster of an album, it is fifteen excruciating songs long. Laugh in the face of any idiot that recommends Rock Crown…they are either a) an illogical fanboy, b) afraid to admit they spent their hard earned money on it, or c) a raving lunatic.
First, I have to say that I held no official grudges with Seven Mary Three. In fact, Water’s Edge made it on to many a mix tape in the mid-1990’s (when I owned like 20 CDs). But I had no intention of souring any goodness left in the band by buying Rock Crown. The damage has been done…
Any album that begins with a song as painfully paced and absolutely riff-less as Lucky needs to be shot (or broken in half) on sight. Ross makes a valiant, though failed, effort to sound intelligent and emotional. These same problems persist throughout the album. Seven Mary Three takes themselves much too seriously. For future note to musicians, take yourself seriously if the music is good. Be funny if the lyrics are witty and the music is called in question. If the music and lyrics are bad, well…take yourself out of your misery.
While some albums start out miserably and proceed to get better, Rock Crown can’t even be applauded for the title track…aside from the brevity. Apparently a rock track, Rock Crown lacks any real emotion, point, lyrical cause, or musical direction. Even worse is the followup, Needle Can’t Burn. Not only does the music suck…well, it’s also more than just a little honky tonk country…or Weezer. Either way, it’s a badly assembled amalgamation of pseudo-quirky crap.
The other twelve tracks all fall prey to the same problems. It’s cyclical…Honey of a Generation is a too-serious rock track as is Home Stretch. People Like New is reminiscent of the first track in that it is riff-less, emotionless, and dry. The same can be said for Make Up Your Mind. Times Like These reprises the bad country drawl. It continues, not getting better…not getting worse, then again Rock Crown cannot possibly get worse.
Whatever possessed any band with any potential to release an album this disgusting will forever remain a mystery. Oh wait…Seven Mary Three never had any great potential. Their inability to write a cohesive song has continued to be problematic throughout two additional ill-fated albums (1998’s Orange Ave. and 2001’s The Economy of Sound).
Please, for the love of whatever god you believe in, don’t ever buy Rock Crown. Don’t hang out with fans of Seven Mary Three, and if your best friend is a fan please expose them to better music from acts like Better Than Ezra, Soundgarden, or ANYTHING else. Hell! Throw out their precious collection and volunteer to buy them the discography of the band of their choice. Rock Crown is so bad it burns.
Rating: 1/5 stars
Track Listing:
01. Lucky
02. Rock Crown
03. Needle Can’t Burn
04. Honey of Generation
05. Home Stretch
06. People Like New
07. Make up Your Mind
08. Gone Away
09. Times Like These
10. I Could Be Wrong
11. What Angry Blue?
12. Houdini’s Angels
13. This Evening’s Great Excuse
14. Player Piano
15. Oven
Epinions.com periodically updates pricing and product information from third-party sources, so some information may be slightly out-of-date. You should confirm all information before relying on it.
- Add to My Yahoo!: 
- Add to Google Homepage: 
© 1999-2009 Shopping.com, Inc.