The Rant

You wanna know what I'm so freakin' sick of?

I'm so sick and damn tired of people going around giving high ratings and praising hip-hop because it's "futuristic", "unique", or "intelligent", when it actually SUCKS. Granted being unique and intelligent ARE two things that I crave when I listen to a new album, I'm still so damn sick and tired of people trying to insult my intelligence, claiming that because I give an album a low rating I'm "hating", or I "don't understand it". Yo... shut the fuck up and lick my ass... okay. It's utterly retarded how so many hip-hop acts in the underground try so freaking hard to be complex that it makes their music unlistenable.

For instance, El-P. One such person would say "oh well, El-P is brilliant. HE is the future". Motherfucker how? Because he says a bunch of bullshit that takes you weeks to figure out. Personally, I'll stick to my Nas and Cormega albums instead of hearing El-Producto spit something like this: "Magestic parables beyond the light of ludicrous speed and spaceships // all these serendipidus homosapian warlords seem to try to re-create shit.". WHAT IN THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Personally, I don't give a damn. However, in all fairness, I like a few El-P songs... but dammit it's nowhere near a classic anything. Another prime example is the trio of cLOUDDEAD. I've had all of these people tell me its brilliant when it's actually trash and the only reason I gave it 3 is because of it's beats, which were nice. Everything else is plain and simply unlistenable and I'll probably not hear that CD again, with the exceptions of the songs I actually liked.

But this all begs the question. Why? Why do people rate them high? Simple. It's the curiosity of mankind. A creed that reads "well, if we can't understand it, then it must be good". Bullshit. Apparently, hearing a bunch of car-noises and distortion as production is "brilliant", and hearing a bunch of big words put together for no reason means it's good music... my ass. Some idiots actually listen to this crap and actually think it makes them smart because they can interpret it. Look folks, I don't listen to music to feed my own ego or to make me feel smarter. I don't like a particular act because it's "different", or "eclectic". No... I like my music to be GOOD... and many times (not all), this crap just isn't good.

Case in point... Latryx.


The Review


I've had every single Johnny-Come-Lately tell me that Latryx's 1996 album Latryx - The Album (oh how original), is a classic. Phooey. That is a more ludicrous statement than claiming that 50 Cent is the hottest rapper out there today. This duo of Lateef the Truth Speaker and Lyrics Born seem to try to "change hip-hop" and "give it a new form", when in fact all that they deliver is garbage. Changing the mold of hip-hop isn't a bad thing, as long as it's done within the context of good music. In my humble opinion, giving us simplistic tap-beats and a bunch of awful rap deliveries with low-quality audio isn't my idea of good music, sadly to say. Of course, you're going to have your naysayers claim that I don't get it, with such stupid comments as "Danny, you don't understand the brilliance of it", or "their music has a subconscious message within", or maybe something idiotic like "of course it's bad, that was their intention". Yeah, well I'll tell you where you stick this CD, and I promise you that even sounds from THAT area will be clearer and certainly more fun to listen to than this trash.


Track List & Rating

1. Latyrx (1 Star)
2. Say That (1 Star)
3. The Quickening (The Wreckoning Part II) (2 Stars)
4. Balcony Beach (2 Stars)
5. Live At 90.3 '94 f/ John Tchicai & Free Association (1 Star)
6. The Muzappers Mix (2 Stars)
7. Funky Granules (NOT RATED)
8. Bad News (3 1/2 Stars)
9. Off (With) Their Heads (Be Prompt) (2 Stars)
10. Interlude (NOT RATED)
11. Burnt Pride (2 Stars)
12. Scratchapella (NOT RATED)
13. The Wreckoning (Live 45 mix) (3 Stars)
14. Burning Hot In Cali On A Saturday Night f/ Blackalicious (3 Stars)



Dammit to hell. Just... wow. The opening track "Latryx" is awful, terrible, bad bad bad. I heard that supposedly this is the "brilliant" lead single that seemingly nobody was aware of, but wound up being a hit with a following... of inbred redneck cannibals. Now I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this song "defies all purposes of the afrocentric roots of hip-hop and transforms it onto a parallel view of the spirit of alpha centaury" simply because it's so freaking boring that you'll be playing with your genitals in no-time. Instead I'll put it simple: It's fucking whack.

The beat starts out decent enough, with a nice mix of scaling flutes and a bouncy synthesized bassline, but once the rapping begins, you can throw it out the window. The singing at first is decent, but soon you'll realize one thing... THEY'RE BOTH RAPPING AT THE SAME TIME. That's right, i am not lying to you. Both Lateef and Lyrics rap together at the exact same time and you can hear both their verses simultaneously... which is a terrible, terrible idea. Of course you're going to have your little naysayers tell me "it's brilliant... nobody has ever done it before". Ahh... I suppose so if I drill a hole in your esophagus and fuck it, it's also brilliant, since nobody has done that before either... idiot. Their rapping at the same time is hideous to hear, and it honestly sounds as if theyre saying: "vijnu ovni unvi ubint uiibn itunv // fhjrvbnjn hffirrk lkclyp wxmno".... it's fucking terrible. Having to remove one side of your headphones to hear one emcee clearly is arguably the stupidest idea of the century. After this unlistenable part, they actually rap seperately, but by this time it may be too late and you'll be skipping. Lateef is unbelievably bad, slurring and choking at every rhyme he spits and being about as simple as it gets, while trying to be complex. Lyrics is a bit better, but dammit, it's too late to help anything. This song is AWFUL.

It becomes painfully obvious by the time "Say That" is finished that all that Latryx are out to do is sound different so that they'll be considered "special" and "abstract". Give me a freakin break. Firstly, the beat is... well, there is no beat unless you count the drum loop. The rest of it is a bunch of bleeps and bloops. What the fuck? Who produced this crap, R2D2 from Star Wars? That's the whole beat! A bunch of bleeps and robot noises. Can somebody say BOORIIIING?? Lateef is awful, and is a bad rapper. He raps low and with NO energy and you can barely hear what the hell he's saying, so I can't even tell what he's rapping about but it SOUNDS like braggadocio from what I can take from it. Sorry boys, but there is nothing to brag about here. Lyrics Born is actually decent, but goodness I wish they took his verse and put it over GOOD production and away from Lateef. This entire gimmick of putting a bunch of robotic noises and rapping badly seems more contrived than it is a concept. In fact, the only concept I can think of that Latryx is attempting is to purposely sound awful, and if that's the case, they're doing a pretty good job of convincing me. I'd rather lay my penis on the cutting board at a butcher's than listen to this crap.

"The Quickening (The Wreckoning Part II)" and "The Wreckoning (Live 45 mix)" are obviously sister tracks, even though I find it retarded whenever an artist puts a sequel before an original. On the first of the two, you can plainly see the lack of talent exhibited by Lateef. Lateef spits his words too low and sounds like a damn amateur when he's spitting. I mean, I'm sure this is his style... but it sucks. Sadly, there is no Lyrics Born on this song, which really kills it. The beat is the only saving grace, which features a nice bass-driven instrumental, but still puts me to sleep. This isn't original, it's crap. I'd rather watch C-Span. The second of the two is MUUUCH better. Lateef spits his delivery with aggression and anger, and I felt it, and the beat is decent. The song is solid, but nothing special, and definitely not a classic like many claim. Then again, I suppose the only defense here is to say something completely ignorant, stupid, and egotistical about me like... "everyone he makes fun of is far better than he is", or something along those lines.

What's this? More crap... of course. Skipping past a couple terrible songs we get to one song which is actually pretty decent: "Bad News". Maybe I'm a sucker for piano melodies since this has a pretty darn good one. Once again, Lateef comes on here with a whack delivery, but his subject matter is actually pretty nice once listened to a bit more thorough. Lyrically, allow me to quote: "People talkin 'bout, people talkin 'bout, people talkin 'bout, people. No thank you, I think I have enough of that with Juelz Santana. The song actually nice, but dammit, you won't be rewinding it, I can promise that.

"Off (With) Their Heads (Be Prompt)" and "Burnt Pride" follow, and are both equally garbage. Once again Latryx is trying too freakin hard to be eclectic and wind up with terrible results. I mean, it's painfully obvious, and I don't give a damn what the concept is if the music isn't good, and on here, it's very bad. The first of the two crapfests features a beat which is relatively nice, but the rapping just kills it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love subject matter tracks and good lyrics, but the delivery here is so god-awful that it ruins everything else good about it. The audio levels are in sore need of help, as they rise up and down... or maybe thats the lyrics. Thankfully, Lyrics Born gets excited on the track and delivers a decent, yet easily skippable verse which really does nothing to help the overall rating of the song. The second of the two features a bunch of interlaced drums and chord instruments put in, with overused "scientific" synthesizers. From the onset, the beat easily makes the song unlistenable. The "singing" here is hideous and it's sad that many consider this the future of hip-hop. We already know the the toilet singing is bad, and the beat overshadows it. Jesus Christ I just cannot believe that people think that this is good music. How? How in the hell is the music good if you LITERALLY can't hear or understand what the dude is saying due to his awful singing voice and overproduced beat. Future of Hip-Hop my ass.

By the time you make it to "Burning Hot In Cali On A Saturday Night", you'll be thankful it's over, that is, if you make it that far. Don't be fooled by the Blackalicious guest appearance, it really does nothing for the song. The song has a real bouncy, fresh approach and has potential to be very ill, and is actually fun to listen to. The beat is funky and sampled well, and the rapping is actually halfway decent. Lateef is still whack, but Lyrics Born does an excellent job, and makes this halfway listenable. Sadly... this doesnt save it.

OH GOD. I've rarely been happier for a CD to end. I'm sure people who want to make people think they're smart will love this and argue with me, but fact is, Latryx - The Album is whack both lyrically and beatwise. They're idiotic attempts to be different and eclectic can make for some truly innovative and brilliant soundscapes... unfortunately they all fuckin suck. I honestly don't understand how somebody can consider idiotic off-key mumbling over bad production good, but then again... 50 sold 8 Million. I mean wow... for you to sit here and actually consider this music begs the question if you were given the Owen Hart tombstone piledriver when you were an infant. Seriously folks, in my humble opinion this album is garbage and is best served as a prime example that, as I said, just because it's different doesn't mean its good. I would rather get my dick sucked by President Bush than listen to this.

1.5 Stars, Rounded up to 2






SIMILAR ALBUMS

Lyrics Born - Later That Day






Recommended: No