I’ve had this CD for approximately six weeks. It took me that long to stop laughing long enough to review it. "Every bad boy has his soft side"? Puleeze. Every bad boy wants to score as often as possible. Do I sound bitter, or experienced?

Ok, I won’t torture you with a song by song analysis because if you don’t already know the songs you must have been living under a rock in the late 80’s. Most of these bands are gone and good riddance (trust me, I have many of their full albums and you aren’t missing a thing.) I caught Mike Reno (of Loverboy) on a VH1 where are they now program. It was funny too.

*Highlights*
"High Enough" by Damn Yankees is a good little tune that doesn’t deserve to be consigned to this collection of schlock. If you suddenly realize you can live no longer without this song at your fingertips, buy the self titled Damn Yankees CD. Without it you will miss the joys of "Come Again," "Coming of Age," and "Damn Yankees."

"To Be With You" by Mr. Big also does not deserve the company it’s thrust into. It comes on the Lean Into It album which I feel is the weakest of the first three (I haven’t managed to get my family to buy the last two for me yet, but they’re weakening.) Lean Into It does boast "Daddy, Brother, Lover, Little Boy (The Electric Drill Song)". Between those two sings it might be worth the price at Half.com.

"More Than Words" by Extreme wouldn’t have been here if Gary Cherone hadn’t decided he wanted to be a Broadway star. Once again, buy the CD or you will miss "Mutha (Don’t Want to Got To School Today)," "Watching, Waiting," and "Rock A Bye Bye." Even the almost Christian rock edge isn’t enough to drive me away from this one.

"Don’t Close Your Eyes" is an alarmingly nice song for a band that managed, what, one album? But what an album. It just plain rocks from track one to track ten. I’m looking at the track listing and each title brings the entire song to mind. I have no huh? reactions and for some reason I don’t own this on CD yet. Note to self, go shopping. (BTW Kix has four albums. Must go shopping.)

You will be much happier and further ahead if you buy these four CD’s from Half.com (or where ever) than you would ever be with this compilation. Why?

*Lowlights*
(Ok Darkmistress just stick to the worst of the worst, you promised not to do a track by track. Worst of the worst. Worst of the worst.)

"Something To Believe In"? Who told Poison they could be politically active? Guys, start at home, your use of hairspray is probably a huge contributor to the hole on the ozone.

"This is Love" by Whitesnake always reminds me of Tawny Kittaen (how ever she spelled it.) writhing on the hood of a car. And that calls to mind the last picture I saw of Tawny. She was on the cover of Cleveland Magazine, with her balding, middle ages husband du jour with lip stick on her teeth. Of the song, I remember mercifully little.

"Almost Paradise" by Mike Reno and Anne Wilson. Ah, I can see them now, sitting in a dingy Dunkin’ Donuts somewhere in the Pacific Northwest scarfing crème sticks and wondering where all the fame went.

*And where are they now*
(In which I endeavor to point out the error of Razor and Tie’s ways and plan out a CD I want to burn, when I get a burner. Nothing like multitasking. All of these bands fit the criteria of the original CD, although you need not have been living under a rock to have missed the songs meteoric rise and fall on the charts.)

"I Don’t Love You Anymore" by The London Quireboys off their only album a Bit of What You Fancy which was reviewed by me here someplace.

"Don’t Wanna Dream" by Hurricane off their third and last album Slave To the Thrill. Also reviewed here someplace and worth the purchase price new.

"I Wish It Would Rain" covered by Little Ceasar off their self titled first of two albums. Can someone remind me why Randy Staub should be significant to me? It escapes me. Probably worth bargain bin price, I haven’t reviewed it or even listened to it lately.

Riverdogs only album has a couple of songs well worth of a place here. In fact, "Spooky" is the song Poison thought they were writing. But I‘ve reviewed this also and you really should have it by now.

"I Don’t Wanna Be Loved" off Company of Wolves self titled and only album. Also reviewed here elsewhere.

"Fly To the Angels" by Slaughter, off Stick It To Ya. I don’t know for sure how many albums they squeezed out, surprisingly, I only have this one.

And the piece de resistance:
"Seasons" by Tyketto off Don’t Come Easy. When I first picked up this collection I was so convinced that this song would be included that I didn’t realize it wasn’t until I listened all the way through and it never appeared. Trust me when I say, if you were listening to the radio in 90-91 you know this song.

So, in conclusion, don’t reward Razor and Tie for this pathetic collection. Reward yourself by purchasing some CDs that contain the better songs. Or better yet, give me a CD burner and I’ll burn you a better collection.

Hey, stop laughing. I thought it was a good bargain.


Recommended: No

Great Music to Play While: Cleaning the House