Let it be known, I can not stand the word "blood" in any of its forms. Bled, bloody, bleed, bleeding. In all seriousness, saying or reading any of those words makes me a little sick. You should keep in mind, also, that I'm very much into metal and horror movies; therefore, there's a good chance I'm exposed to the word more often than, say, a country music listener who digs Lifetime flicks. Unless that person is in the medical field or something. So how can I possibly handle all that?

Type O Negative's enchanting metal masterpiece, 1993's Bloody Kisses, probably has a thing or two to do with it.

"Christian Woman," one of the most popular songs from Bloody Kisses, was my first exposure to Type O Negative. Their inimitable brand of dirgey, beautiful, romantic, depressing, humorous music hooked me immediately. Legions of Type O worshippers consider Bloody Kisses their magnum opus, and I agree completely. This is the Drab Four at their finest.

What's so special about it? For starters, it's dark as hell, but there's a clever humor to it. Yeah, yeah, that can be said about every Type O Negative album. But Bloody Kisses just pulls it off the best. Here, the band combines impossibly menacing, gloomy, Sabbath-inspired riffs with gorgeous, exotic keyboard melodies. Salt all of that good stuff with frontman Peter Steele's vampiric vocals, and you wind up with something timeless.

A few things about Type O become really clear really fast. They enjoy all that is hilariously and uniquely erotic. Bloody Kisses' brief opening track, perfectly titled "Machine Screw", depicts a woman having sex with a robot or any other machine-like device your mind wants to conjure up. Some call it a throwaway track. I call it hilarious, and an appropriately inappropriate way to introduce strangers of Type O Negative to the band's inimitable humor. "Machine Screw" segues right into the slow, beautifully tortured sounds of "Christian Woman," an epic song bordering on nine minutes long. Mystical keyboards and exotic acoustic guitars set the tone for this tale of a woman with a desire to have an, um, interesting relationship with the god she worships.

Buried within the scorching guitar riffs of "Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-All)" are equal amounts of playfulness and evil. Atop Josh Silver's spooky keyboard arrangements lies a barrage of eerie bass lines and a plethora of sinfully catchy choruses. It's strange to think that this sarcastic ode to gothic chicks is about nothing more than hair dye. And I'd be foolish to neglect "Kill All The White People," not only because of the thrashing array of punk/hardcore music it brings forth. It's a token Type O humor track, in which Steele pokes fun at the fact that the band was once accused of being Nazis (though keyboardist Josh Silver is, in fact, Jewish).

"We Hate Everyone" is like a more complete "Kill All The White People"; both songs show off the speedier, more thrashy side of Type O Negative that is frequently neglected due to the almighty dominating dirge. Its campy nature doesn't subtract from its musical quality. Rarely are choruses more memorable than this strangely anthemic chant-along courtesy of guitarist Kenny Hickey: "We don't care / what YOU think! / We don't care / WHAT! YOU! THINK!" This song tackles a potentially serious subject (Type O being branded by the media as racists and sexists for no real reason at all), while making it sound very carefree. I approve.

I would say that the despondent centerpiece of the album, the lush, slow "Bloody Kisses (A Death In The Family)" perfectly displays everything I love about Type O Negative. However, that would be untrue. I admire Type O's humor, and there is nothing funny or lighthearted about this doom-metal track detailing the double suicide of a troubled young couple. In no way does the lack of humor prevent this song from being completely flawless. Steele's vocal range is on full display here. Many attempt to imitate his genuinely ominous tones, but nobody can. The organs are solemn and mournful as Hickey's guitar work seems to be more contemplative, methodical, and emotional sounding than ever before. The band has yet to duplicate masterpieces such as this one and "Christian Woman."

Bloody Kisses has aged so, so well. It never gets old. Never sounds boring and is not at all redundant. These songs only seem to sink deeper and resonate more profusely as time goes on. I insist that no one can refer to themselves as a Type O Negative fan without proper ownership of this album. It is eerily probable that those attached to the gloomier side of metal will love everything about this amazing release.

A crimson pool so warm and deep
Lulls me to an endless sleep
Your hand in mine
I will be brave
Take me from this earth...



Recommended: Yes