At our school, pizza day sucks.

Mar 20, 2005
Review by  
Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:Queen Ali likes some songs.

Cons:Queen Ali wishes others would die.

The Bottom Line: Not if you aren't already a fan.


"Seven (almost eight) years ago, eight (almost nine) men emerged from a mossy log tomb...they called themselves THE AQUABATS!" (www.theaquabats.com)

Once upon a time, in a wild, crazy, and Lemon Pledge-scented land known as Aquabania, there was a very large group of very odd creatures. These very odd creatures could have been mutated rubber ducks, but instead they chose to fight the forces of evil known as the men in expensive suits working at the music industry. However, since years of what some might call "flipping sweet" music and some might call "bouncy and rather odd" music, they have done little except make a dent in the indie ska world.

However, after the release of the immortal album that music store clerks everywhere are calling "$15.99 and not a penny less," also known as The Fury of the Aquabats, their music started to become rather Aquabanal.

So they did what every band does when they want to take the heat off them for making crappy music: release rarities.

Now, back in sunny Aquabania, their fair queen Ali (a very faithful Aquacadet) has purchased this collection. And their fair queen Ali ain't impressed.

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It's not that Queen Ali thinks this is a bad album on the whole. It's just that she knows exactly what her army of Aquabats are capable of...and she knows they can do so much better than this.

However, that doesn't mean there isn't a fair share of pretty rad songs on this collection. Queen Ali's personal opinion is that "I Fell Asleep On My Arm" is one of the funniest damn things ever written. Serving as a parody of those enemies of the people, Limp Bizkit and Korn, whenever the queen hears that singer guy (does anyone know what his name is?) making those ridiculous sound effects she cannot help but smile and generally feel at one with the world.

One of the most popular live-show songs (and one of Queen Ali's favorites) has become "Pizza Day." An anecdote: While at an Aquabats concert in Boston (Queen Ali traveled quite a long distance on quite a filthy bus to serve her duty as an Aquacadet--now that's love), Lead Singer Guy - dressed stylishly in a Batman costume - was tackled by a very fat gentleman - dressed just as stylishly as Spiderman - who was begging him to play "Pizza Day." This is understandable. Because let's face it: there just aren't enough nostalgic ska songs about school lunches out there.

Another live favorite is also included here, "Pool Party." This song seems to be the preference among most Aquacadets because listening to a thirtysomething white guy who thinks he's Batman rapping kind of makes their day. However, the part of this song that makes MY day is hearing the beginning.

"Hey, guess what tonight?"
"What?"
"Pool party, my house, eight o'clock."
"YEAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The intro, like so many instrumental intros before it, is lame and pointless. Queen Ali can safely say that "Robot Theme Song" sucks.

"Hey Luno" is definitely a looking-up point from this intro where they lost sight of their radness. See, the Aquabats have a formula that they rarely stray from: upbeat riff, heavy on the snare, shout-along chorus that makes little sense. And "Hey Luno" fits perfectly into that formula without feeling tiresome.

Get it? Sweet.

Now, Queen Ali has some trouble explaining her death wish for "Dear Spike." Maybe because it fits into the aforementioned formula, but this time it gets tiresome, fast? Yeah, that's probably it. "Dear Spike," while not as obnoxious as "Radiation Song", is too formulaic for Queen Ali's taste. Too Aquabanal.

Speaking of "Radiation Song," why does Queen Ali get the idea that this gang of superheroes/ska musicians are getting horribly bored on this song? This sounds too much like everything found on Vs. The Floating Eye Of Death (read: crap).

"Worms Make Dirt" is a fairly rad song, mainly because it's so incredibly weird that it doesn't need to be deep. It goes back to old Aquabats standards like the famed (sort of) "Super Rad." While Queen Ali feels that "Super Rad" should be on here, just because of old times, "Worms Make Dirt" is a solid substitute. Just...it's not fantastic. But good. Okay. That's done.

Queen Ali isn't a fan of "The Baker" at all. While "Worms Make Dirt" didn't make sense, thus making it somewhat amusing, "The Baker" didn't make sense, thus making it somewhat annoying. It's downright obnoxious, truth be told. And Queen Ali never lies, except for when she does.

She's not lying when she says this ain't no classic.

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To make a long (almost short) story short (almost long), this isn't in the least bit essential, unless you are a truly devoted Aquacadet. While Queen Ali cannot in good conscience recommend this to anyone who isn't already part of the Aquabats' army, she loves the Aquabats so much that she can hardly bear to see an album of theirs go unrecommended.

But don't buy it unless it's really, really cheap.


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