I hesitantly but almost proudly still call Siouxsie and the Banshees my official favorite band, and I will stand by that for now. However, their decision to release a best-of album calls for a good sarcastic rolling of the eyes. I do not see a single reason for this, except as a way for various music people to cash in on a band that's been dead and buried for over six years now (their gimpy little California reunion party and rumors of a new album notwithstanding). If you already own both of the Siouxsie singles collections (more on those later), why would you want a best-of collection? It's all the same stuff, but not nearly as comprehensive! I don't get it.

Released in the fall of 2002, The Best of Siouxsie and the Banshees is what looks like a hasty, arbitrary collection of a few of their hit singles, some of which have been sent back through the music studio machinery and warped in a very unpleasant way, and one previously unreleased track. The release comes in two versions. The basic version is just the best-of CD. The "limited" version includes a second CD containing nine remixes. This limited version is the one that I have and will be reviewing.

I knew this "Best of Siouxsie" was going to be bad. When I heard it was coming out I got that feeling of dread in the pit of my being. But I couldn't just not get it. I mean, please. I love the Siouxsie.

A Very Brief History

For those poor souls who haven't known the joy of listening to the Banshees, let's quickly explain who they are (or were). They were, in fact, one of the original English punk bands in the seventies, although you would probably never ever guess that if all you have heard is "Kiss Them For Me." They put out albums for almost twenty years, ending up with at least eleven. I lost count. All I know is that I own every single one of them.

Over the band's lifetime they went from screaming, bristling 20-year-old angry punk kids to professional but still angry career musicians. Siouxsie, the vocalist, and Steven Severin, the bassist, were the two principal songwriters, and drummer Budgie was with the band for most of its lifetime. Other band members came and went.

Their music started as abrasive thrash that sounds basically like a small child playing with pots and pans. Over time it matured and morphed into everything from dark goth rock to swirly poetry to obscene candy pop to brilliant experiments that became masterpieces, like "Peek A Boo." At first listen you can barely tell that all of this came from the same band. That's why they rule.

The Paper Department

This version of the best-of collection is a 2-CD set in the standard swing-open case and it even came in one of those neat but entirely worthless cardboard sleeve thingies. This I just tore off and placed in the recycling because I find those things annoying.

The fat stack of liner notes is equally stupid. They are mostly "artistic" empty space, but contain a long, stuffy, academic-sounding blurb by one of those guys who writes about British music, giving his take on the band. As if we care. He uses ridiculous phrases like "an arresting exercise in sampledelica" to describe the music and his cold, objective prattle is topped in arrogance only by Siouxsie herself, who was actually bothered to donate a few of her own words, interview-style. Along the lower edges we get a few washed out photo snips, mostly of Siouxsie's scary eye makeup.

The "Best Of" Siouxsie

We've got the standards, because if they weren't included, it just wouldn't be right. There are only so many ways you can put together a best-of album. I have several issues with this.

Firstly, if you're going to put an old song in a new collection, just do it and don't mess with it. The version of "The Killing Jar" that appears here is not the one that first came out on the album Peepshow. I'm a little bit sensitive about that album to begin with, because not only is it my favorite Banshees album, but it holds a solid position in my Top 10 favorite albums of all time list. I am morally offended when any part of it is tampered with, even by the band that created it. The Banshees had a habit of this, making songs, then pulling them back out, screwing around with them, and reissuing them. I just don't think that's how it should work. Painters don't pull their 12-year-old works of art off the museum wall, add extra brush strokes, and put them back up. Authors don't take their bestselling novels, add new plot twists, and republish them. I think it should be the same way with music, in my totally insignificant opinion. Go ahead and cover other bands, but don't cover yourself.

Most of the songs here are in their original fabulous form, though. Their legendary cover "Dear Prudence" starts it off, and their oldest single, "Hong Kong Garden," follows. Every time I hear "Happy House" I like it even more. It's probably one of the best uses of the band's incredible, dark sense of humor. Sometimes you really don't know what Siouxsie is going on and on about, but you know it's hilarious. Totally deadpan and twisted.

The celebration of natural disasters, "Cities in Dust," is included of course, as well as one of the very best songs ever by any band in history, "Peek A Boo." I will be 100 years old, shriveled, bedridden, confined to my little hospice up on the hill, and I will still put on those two songs when it's time to rock. "Christine" was one of my favorite Banshees songs way back when... before I ever knew who they were. Before I ever cared about music. Before I even hit puberty. I can't remember not knowing that song. "Arabian Knights" and "Spellbound" are there to dampen the sick, cheerful mood induced by the high-fructose "Kiss Them For Me," which can be addictive like an opiate.

Now that I have condemned the band for tearing the hell out of the otherwise-perfectly-good "The Killing Jar," I will mention that what they did to "Stargazer" is not entirely unacceptable. The vocals have a new, interesting light echo and the souped-up drums are actually very nice. Still, even though I didn't exactly love the original "Stargazer" from The Rapture, I would rather see it left alone as well.

Finally, there is one previously unreleased track, and it's not really that impressive a song. It is called "Dizzy" and from the sound of it, it's from The Rapture era. You can just tell. It's got the same slack, mature, tranked-up vocals and goofy, super-concentrated mystical poetry lyrics that some of the other songs from that album have. Also we've got what sounds like Martin McCarrick's spongy cello work. He's so much better on that accordion! "Dizzy" probably looked great written out on paper, but as a song it's weird and watery.

The Remix CD

The second CD is just absolutely horrible. But then, I probably think it's horrible because I hate remixes. There are nine of them here.

Sweet mother, how I especially hate "Kiss Them For Me" remixes. I suppose the song just asks to have the cr@p beaten out of it by some addled techno dork, since it's so simple and formula. But why we have to be submitted to it is beyond me. (Maybe because idiots like me actually buy it? Could be.) So anyway, what we have here is the "Kathak #2 Mix." Well, I have heard the original Kathak mix (#1...?) from the "Kiss Them For Me" single, and it sounds pretty much the same. Like someone took the year 1987, eviscerated it, and tossed the guts haphazardly into the song. This Kathak person needs to get a new fixation. So do I.

The "extended version" of "Spellbound" is just the song with a long, annoying ending tacked on. The "Eruption Mix" of "Cities in Dust" is apparently the same horrible thing that was included in the Tinderbox CD. We have another version of "Stargazer" and, incredibly, another infuriating mangled version of "The Killing Jar"! What is wrong with people?

The only two songs that appear here as remixes that did not appear on the best-of CD are "Dazzle" and once lost b-side "Song From the Edge of the World," neither of which deserve any respectful description.

Finally, what nauseates me most here is the "Peek A Boo" remix. Oh no. You don't touch "Peek A Boo." You leave that one alone.

It Should Have Been Up To Me

This best-of collection just should not exist. But since it does, here are my useless suggestions for how it could be made better, if we could go back in time and fix it.

-Lose the remixes.

-Do not screw with the old songs. Ever. If I ever hear another version of "The Killing Jar" I swear I will choose a new favorite band.

-We need an overhaul on the variety of songs here. We're missing several very important singles, and they should have added some more songs that weren't singles. I would have liked to see "Swimming Horses," "Obsession," "Burn-Up," and "Suburban Relapse" here. But I can't have what I want and that's probably for the best. Also, instead of their lame cover of "This Wheel's On Fire" they should have put in their cover of Sparks' "This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us." But I'm certain no one would ever agree with me on that.

On The Subject of THE SINGLES COLLECTIONS

The very existence of this best-of collection puzzles me for yet another reason. We already have two perfectly good Siouxsie and the Banshees singles collections, Once Upon a Time and Twice Upon a Time which together include a grand total of 28 songs. That's all you need.

Here are my suggestions:

1. Unless you have a remix fetish or you're a budding DJ who actually has respect for stuff like this, avoid the remix CD. If you have to get The Best of Siouxsie and the Banshees, get the best-of CD only.

2. Don't even get that.

3. Get both singles collections.

4. Get Peepshow!

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I am finished now. Thanks and have a great day.
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