It's difficult writing about Madonna's discography, because I have to fight with myself to remain truly objective. The Material Girl has been my favorite artist since I was three years old, so forgive me if I fanboy all over the place. I think, however, that spending so much listening to her has helped me see the good and bad in everything she does. She's obviously not perfect, as indicated on a trio of albums I tend to forget exist at all: Ray of Light, the pretentious and junky spiritual album; Music, the cheaply produced album; and American Life, the album I initially labeled a steaming pile of failure. It's rare that instantly hate a Madonna album, but that's how I felt about American Life. Even though Ray of Light stands as my least favorite Madge record, I could find catchy songs that I could replay. With AL, however, I just ended up pressing the skip button.

In 2003, Madonna's career was sinking faster than a boat anchor. The lead-off single was tanking, the video was panned, the album was given extremely low ratings, and her pretention levels had reached critical state. But you can't kill this Italian Stallion-- if the Sex book didn't, why should an album? American Life opens up the record and showed the world everything we dislike about Madonna: first off, she tried to lay down a Debbie Harry rap that not only embarasses her, but embarasses a good majority of her fans. The song is instantly recognized as overproduced and the lyrics are just... dumb. Aside from the opening chant, the lyrics are downright embarassing, especially since they are coming from the same world who sang anthems like Express Yourself and Deeper and Deeper.

Do I have to change my name?
Will it get me far?
Should I lose some weight?
Am I gonna be a star?

I do love this chant. I think it's clever and snarky, but they almost set the bar a little too high, but the song doesn't live up to this introduction. The stupid production angers me, especially the hard rock version she used for her Reinvention Tour is amazing, filling in all the holes and gaps the album version allows for. By this point, I was kind of finished with American Life, but given that it's Madonna, I let it run through. Oh, wait, no, I didn't. I avoided this album for years, and to this day, I still can't get through it. Hollywood was a single that Madonna was really rooting for, creating a highly stylized (and controversial) music video and then performing it at the Video Music Awards alongside Britney Spears, Missy Elliott, and Christina Aguliera. The song, however, was doomed to fail. The production, again, is terrible, and the lyrics, (sigh) again, are terrible. It's kind of funny, though. Must like the opening track, this one's got another great little chant: "Music stations always play the same songs; I'm bored with the concept of right and wrong." Hey. The song is dumb, but that line is true.

The third song makes me wince. I'm So Stupid is in the bottom 5 Madonna songs of all time. Really, I can't describe it. You have to listen to the song to understand how infuriating it is. It starts out so interesting and cool, but then falls flat on its face with a boring melody and bad lyrics. That's it, right? Time to just give up on this album. Well, if you give up now, you'll miss amazing songs like Nothing Fails, an acoustic backed by a choir that's just gorgeous. On Wikipedia, the users have cited this album has being "folk, electronic, pop, techno, dance, and pop rock." This is all true. However, instead of combining and fusing this genres, she just threw them all in a salad and made this gigantic mess. Had the album been comprised of a bunch of Nothing Failss, then this album would get five stars across the board.

Nobody Knows Me is probably my favorite cut from the album for the sole purpose that its catchy, fun, and another anthem from a woman who knows how to make them. This album was another collaboration with Mirwais, a French musician who does a great job on his own projects, but then cheapens Madonna albums. Nobody Knows Me, though, is a real treat with thumping electronic blips and bleeps and powerful "stamp-your-foot" production. Intervention, about her children, is another Nothing Fails moment-- soft and quiet acoustics with sweet lyrics. Out of the many acoustic ballad, however, X-Static Process has the best melody. Scratchy and odd, this song is all about a crisis of self. While it may sound crazy coming from a woman like Madonna, it's still a wonderfully introspective song that's worth quite a few listens...though I have no idea what the title is meant to signify.

The most successful track from this album was Die Another Day, a dance song recorded for the James Bond flick of the same name. It was smart of her to put this song on the album, because it's just about the only reason the generic public purchased a copy of this album. I loved this song when it first came out, but it hasn't stood the test of time like her other work. I don't listen to it very often, but it's not a terrible song. The production wears on me after a listen, though, with Madonna's warped vocals and the weird inclusion of Janet Jackson-esque sound effects that just don't work. Rather than being truly dramatic, it just sounds a little cheap.

American Life is an album entirely comprised of what sounds like samples. It took the worst aspects of Ray of Light and Music and somehow made them worse. I applaud Madonna for trying something a little out of her comfort zone (and for showing off her guitar muscle), but it's simply not that great of an album. I pick and choose from this record, but getting through it is nearly impossible.

TRACKLIST
American Life
Hollywood
I'm So Stupid
Love Profusion
Nobody Knows Me
Nothing Fails
Intervention
X-Static Process
Mother and Father
Die Another Day
Easy Ride

Recommended: No