Try to picture the beautiful landscape of Espaņa – or (to us commoners) Spain – for a moment. (I loves me some nested parenthesis… mmm.) Imagine the gorgeous rolling beaches, the lovely clear blue skies, the sweltering midday sun, and finally (the most important thing) all those scantily clad senoritas. Radiohead’s hotly-anticipated 2003 album Hail To The Thief is the one and only CD that I’ve bought outside of the good ole’ UK. In case you’re finding it hard to put two and two together (and make five, according to the band), I bought it when on holiday in the magnificent country of Spain. So, most of my early listening of this album came during the time I spent there, and – as music has a nasty habit of attaching itself to certain times in your life – I now associate HTTT with sunny, happy, frivolous times. Oh the joys. The perfect way to counteract the so-called “depressing” music of Radiohead is to be able to think of sun, sea and sand while you listen to them. Fortunately, I am not depressed by their music, and so the thoughts that run through my head while taking this album in only heighten the happy mood of it all.

What’s that you say? Oh, right. Why was I, Andy, so eager to get a hold of this album? Surely I could’ve waited until I got home, right? _No_, you silly fool. Because HTTT was probably one of the most anticipated albums of last year – given that no-one quite knew what the band were going to _do_ in this one (despite the fact that they had already proclaimed, again, that it would be a return to guitar-driven material). In fact, what the band actually _did_ could probably have been figured out rather easily, but the press and the general music-listening public were too fearful to venture the theory. What if the band took all the styles from their previous albums, rolled them into a big sticky ball, and flung it at the world? Well, it would probably cause a tidal wave the size of Mt. Everest to wipe out Britain, half of North America and a large portion of Western Europe. But aside from that, it would be rather interesting and definitely intriguing, particularly for fans that had followed the band up until this point faithfully (i.e. me). So no, Yorke and the crew didn’t decide to move on in their musical ventures this time around. Maybe they’ve matured a bit. Maybe they just couldn’t be aarsed changing it up again. Maybe they had now decided to stop messing with people’s heads and finally go for something that was expected of them. We can speculate, but in the end – like with every other issue involving the band – I could care less. What matters is that HTTT is out there, and it’s worthy of its place alongside any other Radiohead album.

Some of the album focuses on The Bends-era stuff i.e. big distorted guitars and Yorke’s desperate wails and squeals, coupled with a lax sort of energy and Phil Selway’s thundering drum-work. Yet more explores further the Kid A / Amnesiac side of things i.e. crazy electronic mess with repetitive lyrics and little apparent involvement from some band members. But most of it could probably fit well into the band’s career high, OK Computer i.e. paranoid, creepy and insanely multi-faceted tunes with lots and lots of piano and well-disguised triple-guitar attacks. When I said in my Amnesiac review that _that_ album was eclectic and inconsistent, I was certainly right on the money. However, it is probably best to note that it is _not_ the band’s most hideously eclectic and inconsistent album. That accolade would have to be tagged onto this little number. Due to the mixture of the band’s different styles over the years, it never really gets settled into a definitive rhythm or certain style of song. It jumps all over the place; from distorted noise-rock to electronic blippy-bloops to mellow piano-led mania. All the while Yorke croons, wails and squeals (funny little shuffle dances are his forte too); Johnny Greenwood fiddles, flips and strums; Ed O’Brien harmonises and looks bored; Colin Greenwood opts for the oh-lookie-I’m-a-cool-bass-player stance; and the bald eagle Phil Selway either hits things hard with sticks, hits things lightly with sticks, or twiddles his thumbs and polishes his head. The result is a wild and intimidating album that will take a while to fully dissect and even longer to be recognised as brilliant.

Track Listing
1.2 + 2 = 5 - 2.Sit Down. Stand Up - 3.Sail To The Moon - 4.Backdrifts - 5.Go To Sleep - 6.Where I End And You Begin - 7.We Suck Young Blood - 8.The Gloaming - 9.There There - 10.I Will - 11.A Punchup At A Wedding - 12.Myxomatosis - 13.Scatterbrain - 14.A Wolf At The Door

I usually begin my considerations of Radiohead albums by focusing on the weirder material, and this time will be no different. There is a small portion of the album that is electronic, and just downright weird. The only difference between this and, say, Kid A, is that the band seem to put more of an emphasis on tune. A good example would be Backdrifts, and even though it is a minor misstep, it has to be said that you can hum along easily. However, a hummable tune doesn’t necessarily make for a good one, and in behind all of the song’s spacey whooshes, pong-like electronic bounces and thudding, processed beats lies a repetitive, monotonous affair that goes on for about two minutes more than it should. The single most pretentious thing on the CD is obviously The Gloaming. It’s the obligatory mind-masher of a track that seems to be present on all of Radiohead’s albums since The Bends. Granted, I said before that the electronic songs here have tunes, but this one actually doesn’t. What it does have is some fuzzy blotching, an annoyingly humming and omni-present bass line, ghostly tones and Yorke’s lazy vocals. As it happens, I actually enjoy it, particularly later when more video-game-like noises come bumbling in. It is sparse, apparently tuneless, and the toughest thing to crack on the album. Repeated lyrics include ”They will suck you down to the otherside” and “Your alarm bells should be ringing”.

I would consider Sit Down. Stand Up to be another electronic track. It certainly carries a really quirky, popping drumbeat and more eerie textures from the very beginning. Piano comes drifting gracefully into play later, and brings a real beauty to the sound, as Yorke wails ”Walk into the jaws of hell”. Then it all goes a bit crazy, and you can feel things slowly building up – a buzzing bass thump eases its way in and the drums begin to thud a little harder. Eventually it all becomes a mess – Yorke frantically repeats the line ”The raindrops” ad nauseum as Colin Greenwood goes insane on bass and virtual droplets of electronic noise descend on the listener without interruption. Selway gets to flash some of his talent here too, as the drums fill relentlessly, and there is a stray cymbal thrown in there for good measure.

There are more rocking moments, of course. Opener 2 + 2 = 5 is a blistering affair – starting calm and tentative with cutely popping beat and gentle guitar, it soon moves into a furious assault of The Bends proportions as Yorke screams ”You have not been paying attention!”. Second single Go To Sleep features sprightly acoustic guitar twangs and a catchy bass line, probably being the most “mainstream” song the band has produced in a long time. Listen out for Johnny Greenwood’s amazing solo at the end, short but very very sweet – and not one of your more conventional guitar solos. The drums stay rather funky and stuttering throughout, which is always entertaining. Closer A Wolf At The Door is a chilling affair, and Yorke sounds like a robot as he half-raps gibberish like ”Snakes and ladders flip the lid out pops the cracker smacks you in the head knifes you in the neck kicks you in the teeth takes all your credit cards…”. Choruses are flowing, beautiful affairs, and the song gets more frantic towards the end – Selway gets to enjoy himself once more with some frantic filling. But it’s one of the band’s more accomplished moments of late. I suppose the fuzzed-out Myxomatosis would be the second, and last, misstep on here. Everything is rolled up into a big ball of distortion as the riff is completely buzzing and mean, and Selway confuses us with a difficult-to-predict drumbeat. But I for one find it exceedingly boring, and this is an adjective I don’t normally use when describing Radiohead. Oh, and myxomatosis is a disease that afflicts rabbits, didn’t you know?

There There is still probably my favourite track on here. It has this dark, foreboding atmosphere throughout that I just love. The tribal drumbeats are addictive as hell, and the clicks and bass bursts are infectious. The guitar riff is just creepy and as usual Yorke’s vocals add to the intimidating nature of things. It seems sort of a given on this album that things begin to rock out towards the end of tracks (perhaps the band are letting loose), and it happens here too. Selway _again_ gets to fill whenever he likes, and a cutting guitar riff begins to eclipse everything else as things grow increasingly uncomfortable. A brilliant song, with more insightful lyrics – “Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s there”. It’s a pity no-one seems to consider it one of the finest singles of last year. I guess it was just too good for the general public to absorb. Following hotly on the heels of this track is I Will – a short, vocal-dominated number where Ed O’Brien gets to showcase his harmonising skills. An absolutely gorgeous track and one of the more surreal moments on the album, as the band get reflective yet again (”I won’t let this happen to my children / Meet the real world coming out of my shell”). A Punchup At A Wedding is one of the more eclectic tracks, as it is so crisp and precise. Piano, funky bass, guitar, drums and vocals all layer over each other excellently, and well enough so that you can still pick each one out. It is decidedly non-Radiohead in style, and that’s what makes it so cool.

Some more OK Computer-esque moments remain. Sail To The Moon is about as moving and gorgeous as this album gets, and features some dense piano chords coupling with dreamy guitar parts. It is uncertain in the way that it moves, and never really seems to build up an actual rhythm, but it nonetheless retains its engaging feel throughout. You can’t help but feel a couple of swipes at a certain public figure in there too – “Maybe you’ll be president / But know right from wrong / Or in the flood you’ll build an ark / And sail us to the moon. In fact, it’s bloody obvious. As for We Suck Young Blood - well, you can probably hazard a guess just from the title that it’s going to be creepy. It certainly doesn’t disappoint. I mean, the oppressive bass hooks and thundering piano chords are spooky enough, but when they use claps to punctuate instead of drums, things just get pant-wettingly scary. For a minute towards the end it goes a bit mad, and Yorke starts gibbering like a mental patient while slamming furiously at his piano. But it soon returns to its deliberate, unsettling pace.

Hail To The Thief is certainly worthy of your time. While it is probably Radiohead’s most ambitious and lengthy album to date – fourteen tracks, all of widely varying styles – it still manages to retain an inviting feel, and is fairly encapsulating. If it weren’t for a couple of tracks that totally dive-bomb into the water, I would be giving it the full five-star treatment. It’s understandable that when you create an album of this diversity, one or two tracks aren’t going to be up to scratch – but when it’s Radiohead, I tend to think differently. Maybe I’m being a little harsh, but I wouldn’t say I’d be easily convinced to change my rating here. Even though this is Radiohead’s latest – and sixth – album, I would still say that it’s a decent starting point for new listeners. It sums up the styles they’ve used over the years pretty concisely. However, I’d still recommend that newcomers seek out The Bends and OK Computer first, before returning to check this little wonder out.

Excellent: 2 + 2 = 5, Sit Down. Stand Up, Sail To The Moon, Go To Sleep, There There, I Will
Good: Where I End And You Begin, We Suck Young Blood, The Gloaming, A Punchup At A Wedding, Scatterbrain, A Wolf At The Door
Average: Backdrifts, Myxomatosis
Weak: NONE

Final Rating: 17/20


More on the best band in the world
Pablo Honey
My Iron Lung EP
The Bends
OK Computer
Airbag EP
Kid A
Amnesiac
Com Lag

Recommended: Yes