If you're a Radiohead fan, then I probably don't need to tell you this, but I will anyway - someone closely associated with the band appears to have leaked working versions of the songs from their newest album to the Internet a full two months before its release. Having been tipped off as to where I could download these songs, I decided that I would share the proverbial wealth and let those of you who choose not to download (or don't have the technology/modem speed to do so) know roughly what to expect upon the official release of Hail to the Thief, the band's sixth studio album.

Of course, this approach drew some criticism - I was told that the album was not mastered and that reviewing it would be like someone reading and rating one of my views before I'd scanned through it for typos and awkward sentences and so forth. My assumption had been that the tracks were more or less ready to go, minus a few small tweaks here and there, so the negative reactions honestly surprised me. So, on the morning of June 10th, I showed up at my local music store and walked out with a physical copy of Hail to the Thief in my hands (yes, I remembered to actually pay for it), and sat down in my cubicle at work, prepared to take in the transformation that the album had supposedly gone through between the demos and the final versions.

And you know what I found out? Hardly anything changed. Having listened to the demos several times, I was able to notice a slightly altered intro here, an extra drum loop or background vocal there, a slicker transition between songs somewhere else (this being the one thing I was hoping would change), and honestly, not much else. Of course, the production values were better, but not astoundingly so - the difference was pretty much the same as it always is when I go from downloaded mp3's to listening to the actual CD. What I wrote before the album's release still holds true. So there. Nevertheless, I have updated this review to reflect these trifling changes, because I'm anal like that.

I never thought I'd be all excited about a Radiohead album months before its release, anyhow. Anyone who's known me for a few years knows that I used to make fun of the band for how they pretty much went off the deep end with the twin releases Kid A and Amnesiac in 2000 and 2001. But somewhere in the process of studying the band closely enough to write an informed review or two, I began to fall in love with the British quintet, and now when I listen to their newest set, songs that should take ten or twenty listens to grow on me are hooking me in immediately. I'm sure that for some of you, the story is the same, except that you were smart enough to get on board in the days of OK Computer or The Bends.

Of course, if you've been a fan for that long, then you'll know that the band has been promising us a return to their guitar-rock glory days for quite some time now, and it's obvious that Kid A and Amnesiac wouldn't make sense in that light. Let me let you in on my little theory about that: THEY'RE SCREWING WITH YOU. (They were also screwing with you when they told you that the leaked demos were substantially different than the final recordings.)Come on, you know you love it. Their best attempt to shake off their most rabid fans didn't work, so what's a band to do?

Hail to the Thief seems to be the answer that question. While there are a few tracks that have a good amount of warped rock energy to them in true Radiohead style, there's also quite a bit of the electronic tinkering that drove most of us nuts on the last two albums. Musically, it feels like a more well-thought out cousin of Amnesiac - it still ping-pongs back and forth between songs driven by real instruments and songs driven mostly by computers, but for the most part, the band seems less afraid to have catchy tunes and radio singles. Chalk that up as a lesson learned - it's not bad at all to be experimental, but at the end of the day, you want people to listen to your songs, not skip them, and that's what I found myself doing with half of the "what the heck, let's throw this on there and see what they think" tracks on Amnesiac. As with OK Computer, there seems to be a definite story running through this album (no, I don't think it's meant to be a tirade against George W.), and they certainly haven't slacked off on content! HTTT boasts fourteen tracks, and for the first time since The Bends, there are no "non-songs".

Sounds like good stuff, right? I know I can't stop listening to it. Here's what's in store:

2+2=5 (The Lukewarm)
It's the devil's way now
There's no way out...
I knew this one was going to be a favorite from the title alone (reminds me of an old math joke - 2 plus 2 equals 5 for extremely large values of 2). It starts off with random electronic noise, and then an oddly-timed guitar pattern breaks in, as if jumping to a completely different song. I haven't quite figured out the rhythm, but I can tell it's not a pattern of 2 or 5. (Maybe 7?) Thom Yorke is at his maniacal best in this song, crooning odd lyrics about being afraid of a world that doesn't quite add up. Midway through, the band goes full force, making this an odd but memorable opening track. Thom seems to lose control as things get more intense - he sounds a bit off key when he cries "Don't question my authority or put me in a box!", but I'm sure that's purposeful.

(Noticeable changes: The opening beats are slightly more pronounced, and I can hear voices in the background as the guitars are being plugged in. The ending cuts off a little more sharply, but other than the first and last seconds of the song, it's all pretty much the same.)

Sit Down, Stand Up (Snakes & Ladders)
Walk into the jaws of hell...
Soft, soothing piano notes float into the room after the previous track comes to a screeching halt. This song doesn't boast a lot of lyrics , but then, neither did "The National Anthem", which was one of the first songs that got me hooked on Radiohead. Its title seems to suggest an ongoing theme of contradiction, and the musical mood is very quiet and haunting, slowly building momentum as it goes. The song's strength is in its repetition, with the repeated phrase "the raindrops, the raindrops" echoing in the background and finally coming to the forefront as raindrops turn to hailstones and the song crescendoes in a crazy electronic downpour. You can almost see Thom dancing around like a madman, as if dodging the falling ice was somehow possible.

(Noticeable changes: The song starts off with a programmed beat now instead of just the piano. There might be a few more of Thom's BGV's in the mix, but it's hard to tell.)

Sail to the Moon (Brush the Cobwebs Out of the Sky)
Maybe you'll be President
But know right from wrong...
This slow, watery, piano-driven number reminds me of "The Tourist" getting sacked by "You and Whose Army?" The way its rhythm seems to lazily slip out of synch with itself also reminds me of "Pyramid Song". Again, not much to work with lyrically, but it does a good job of leaving you stranded in outer space as it embarks on its fruitless voyage to the moon. A theme of logical impossibility seems to be emerging here, and the reference to being President in one of the verses seems to fit with the more "obvious" interpretation of this album's title, but I still think there's more here than I'm getting.

Backdrifts (Honeymoon is Over)
All evidence has been buried
All tapes have been erased
But your footsteps give you away...
This is one of two tracks on the album that seems to be entirely comprised of electronic noise (except of course for Thom's voice), and I have to say it's insanely addictive. Thom's conspiracy-theory lyrics fit nicely into the beat-driven groove, sounding almost too relaxed for his own good. I love the warm keyboard sounds that "drift" through this track - it may not be an obvious radio single, but I think it's pretty tasty nonetheless. It's as if Thom decided to stop worrying about being called a sellout just because he wrote a song with a catchy tune, and his attitude is effectively summed up in the line "What the hell, we've got nothing more to lose". I love the little break where everything stops and then he jumps back in with an unexpected "ah-ah-aaaaah!!!"

(Noticeable changes: None, except that the song transitions more tightly into the next one.)

Go to Sleep (Little Man Being Erased)
Something big is gonna happen
Over my dead body...
It's kind of weird to hear Radiohead switch to an almost folksy, acoustic sound after that last track - brings back unpleasant memories of the whiplash that comprised most of Amnesiac. The track still has a solid rhythm section and manages to fall into the rock category - its ironic and somewhat repetitive lyrics combine with a tricky rhythm to remind me of something off of the last Wilco album, except better.

Where I End and You Begin (The Sky is Falling in)
X'll mark the place
Like the parting of the waves
Like a house falling in the sea...
This one has got to be a future single waiting to happen. Colin Greenwood locks into a solid bass groove (I love it when bass players get to show off) and Phil Selway thrills us again with an intricate drum pattern. It's a straight-ahead rocker and yet it's not - very difficult to explain, but it's got that unique Radiohead stamp to it. Thom seems to have an unhealthy fixation with cannibalism, as if "Knives Out" is reprising itself here as he repeatedly mutters, "I will eat you alive, there'll be no more lies".

We Suck Young Blood (Your Time is Up)
Are you fracturing?
Are you torn at the seams?
Would you do anything?
Perhaps following up on the cannibal theme, the group decides to explore the point of view of a vampire in this song, which is reportedly about Hollywood. It's excruciatingly slow at first, as if they're trying to frustrate the listeners, and Thom's morbid lyrics are accentuated by a bunch of people clapping in unison every fourth beat. It's weird, because it's the kind of song that's so slow you'd never clap to it, so that just makes the whole thing that much more eerie. Even stranger is when the band suddenly breaks into a fast paced piano jam in the middle of the song, which drops back off into the song's dirge-like tempo almost as quickly as it started. Definitely one of the more unsettling songs in the Radiohead catalogue.

The Gloaming (Softly Open Our Mouths in the Cold)
Genie let out of the bottle
It is now the witching hour...
As static-drenched noise and a pulsating beat suddenly invade your speakers, you'll be tempted to write this one off as another tuneless experiment in the vein of "Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors", but don't hit skip just yet. This is actually a much better song, because it actually is a song. The lyrics seem to follow the tradition of "Everything in Its Right Place", with Thom repeating a few seemingly disconnected lines over and over in rapid succession, as if trying to commit them to memory. He's actually singing instead of letting a computer handle the off-kilter poetry this time, and the overall effect is very hypnotic. The song's title is derived from an ancient term for "dusk" or "evening", and it's easy to picture a gloomy darkness settling over the land as this song unfolds.

(Noticeable changes: The song has been shortened by a minute or so - a few repetitions of the electronic noise at the beginning and end have been cut out. The song's lyrics and minimalist structure appear to be unchanged.)

There There (The Boney King of Nowhere)
In pitch dark, I go walking in your landscape...
I love it when the first commercially released single from an album is able to (a) fit into the overall theme, and (b) run for over five minutes if it darn well pleases. Such is the Radiohead way. Once again, the band locks into a solid groove, this time a little more laid-back but still upbeat enough to be catchy, and I'm sure longtime fans are happy to hear Jonny Greenwood and Ed O'Brien's guitars churning away in the forefront of the mix. The song seems to be based around two main thoughts - "Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's there" and "We are accidents waiting to happen." Make sure to check out the creepy video, where Thom is wandering through a forest of fairy-tale creatures.

I Will (No Man's Land)
Meet the real world
Coming out of your shell with white elephants...
This is the shortest track on the album at just under two minutes, and it just barely manages to be a song instead of an interlude. Thom's vocals have a weird, soothing but chilling quality to them that is only heightened by the meandering tune of this slow track. It's especially creepy near the end where he repeats "Little babies eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes" over and over. The organ playing in the background may sound oddly familiar to some of you - go give Amnesiac another "spin" and I'm sure you'll figure it out.

(Noticeable changes: The vocals start off immediately with the instruments instead of allowing time for an intro. The track also bleeds into the rhythm of the next song, making it feel like even more of a bridge between songs, rather than an entity unto itself.)

A Punchup at a Wedding (No no no no no no no no)
Hypocrite opportunist
Don't infect me with your poison...
Interestingly, the title of this song always reminds me of not one, but two Adam Sandler movies. However, this laid-back tune has nothing to do with those movies, but instead, it deals with a belligerent fool who decides to show up on someone's special day and start a brawl. (I swear, these guys never run out of interesting subject matter for songs.) The simple bass and piano-driven groove seems almost comical when you try to picture the scene in your head, and I'm sure that's the intent. The band manages to remind me of Wilco yet again when they throw in the line "The pot will call the kettle black" - not that Wilco invented the catch phrase or anything, but the two bands get compared a lot, so it's kind of inevitable.

(Noticeable changes: A few more counts of the drumbeat show up at the beginning of the song. There are also a few "in-between" lyrics missing, such as where Thom used to sing "By the way, I was there, and it wasn't like that" - now he just sings "I was there, it wasn't like that.")

Myxomatosis (Judge, Jury & Executioner)
He said, I been where I liked, I slept with who I liked
She ate me up for breakfast, she screwed me in a vice...
This one'll really throw you for a loop if you think Radiohead doesn't have any real rocking energy left in them after the past few albums. The fuzzy guitars and edgy keyboards that characterize this song just plain mean, and Thom's distorted vocals fit in all too well as he signs a savory little tune about a disease that apparently causes blindness in rabbits. (They've sent me to the dictionary twice now!) As with a lot of Radiohead songs, I can tell this one's gonna take some figuring out, but my initial guess is that it deals with the bitterness caused by conflict with another person (possibly a girlfriend) and treats it as a disease with some unpleasant symptoms. I love the little breaks where everything goes away but the drums and Thom stutters along - "I - don't - know - why I - feel - so - tongue - tied." A friend mentioned recently that this was the greatest song about a diseased mongrel cat ever written, though I would beg to differ, since John Lennon wrote plenty.

(Noticeable changes: What Thom refers to as the "mean keys" are a little farther up in the mix. Nothing else.)

Scatterbrain (As Dead as Leaves)
Any fool can easy pick a hole
I only wish I could fall in...
Since this is a rather lightweight song musically speaking and it comes near the end of the album, I'll admit it's easy to overlook, kind of like I did with "Lucky" on OK Computer for quite a while. I guess there just isn't much to make it stand out - it seems to deal with confusion but doesn't seem to communicate much that wasn't illustrated better in "2+2=5".

A Wolf at the Door (It Girl. Rag Doll.)
Don't look in the mirror at the face you don't recognize
Help me call the doctor, put me inside...
The album's closing track leaves me with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth - I can tell it's another wry attempt at being morbid, which is normally something Radiohead's very good at, but the waltz-like organ line and Thom's low-pitched vocals at the beginning generally just annoy me on this song. The lyrics are interesting, dealing with some sort of a stalker or terrorist who "Calls me on the phone, tells me all the ways he's gonna mess me up". Thom sings this part in his usual higher-pitched wail, so it's safe to assume there might be two different characters in play here - the one making the threats and the one being threatened. There are odd lyrics about "snakes and ladders", "flan in the face", and other odd things, but what I really don't like is the line "dance you f***er". I'm not one to condemn a song just for using that word, but Radiohead has done such a good job of getting their point across without it on the past few albums, and I'll admit to being a bit disappointed. (Apparently he dropped the f-bomb in "Myxomatosis" as well, but I didn't notice it at first with all the distortion.) Perhaps I'm misconstruing the band's intent, but this song also seems to leave things hanging in a "we didn't know how to finish this" sort of way rather than a "we left you hanging on purpose" sort of way.

(Noticeable changes: Absolutely none. I'm really disappointed that they didn't do something with that ending.)

Even if it kind of falls apart for me during the last two songs, I can still tell I'll be getting a lot of mileage out of this album. Radiohead's definitely started to come full-circle here in terms of realizing that being experimental doesn't mean they have to do away with anything that's remotely catchy or radio-friendly, and they've even defied their usual convention here by printing the lyrics in the booklet! (Maybe they've realized that leaving the lyrics out of the booklet is more of a sign of laziness than a sign of artisty - just ask Coldplay.) But never fear - the band still took the time to puzzle us with the artwork - this time around they've commissioned a few pages of paintings of "Labyrinthine Catacombs", with each box filled with random words and phrases, many of which crop up in the album's lyrics. On top of that, they've added a strange "subtitle" to the name of each track. (Hardcore fans will be trying to crack this code for decades.)

All I can say is that I'm glad to have the chance to let these songs grow on me, and for once be one of the first to catch on with a Radiohead album rather than the last. If you consider downloading music before the album's even released to be stealing, then I say hey, Hail to the Thieves, because that got me convinced to buy this thing than traditional advertising ever could have.

ALBUM WORTH:
2+2=5 $2
Sit Down, Stand Up $2
Sail to the Moon $1
Backdrifts $1.50
Go to Sleep $1.50
Where I End and You Begin $1.50
We Suck Young Blood $1
The Gloaming $2
There There $1.50
I Will $.50
A Punchup at a Wedding $1
Myxomatosis $1
Scatterbrain $0
A Wolf at the Door $0
TOTAL: $16.50

Band Members:
Thom Yorke: Lead vocals, guitar, piano
Jonny Greenwood: Guitar, keyboards, piano
Ed O'Brien: Guitar, background vocals
Colin Greenwood: Bass
Phil Selway: Drums, percussion

Website: http://www.radiohead.com
(Preliminary lyrics courtesy of http://www.ateaseweb.com)

Recommended: Yes