bigd99999's Full Review: Tough Luv [Edited] by Young Gunz
Rocafella Records could be facing a dangerous crisis. With Jay-Z's temporary leave of absence which he calls "retirement", basically leaving Tha Roc by themselves to sell while Jay watches vigil from far away. Let's be honest, even though tha Roc has already been established as a worthless pile of talentless sellouts, many of them are far from being hitmakers. Memphis Bleek couldn't sell if his life depended on it, and let's be honest, Beanie has been hyped up as this "legendary emcee", and he goes and rhymes "poker face" with "poke a face"... some creativity huh. Who's left? Well, Cam'Ron and the Dipsets are probably the worst rappers in existence, and only Cam has succeeded in being widely successful out of any of them. Old Dirty Bastard is miles away from his prime, M.O.P. doesn't have an album dropping for a few months, and Peedi Crack is... beyond whack. There will probably never be a Roc artist who will sell as well as Jay-Z does.
The braintrust of tha Roc made a few wise moves early in 2004. Superstar producer Kanye West was finally unleashed upon the world, and his debut College Dropout was unbelievably accepted due to it's appeal to both the backpacking underground croud and the commercial idiots who wanted "consciousness", but really don't even know what the fuck the word means. After the success of West, Dame apparently saw how the public was interested in new, young acts and released State Property's Chris and Neef, forming what we call the Young Gunz. In early 2004, they dropped Tough Luv, their debut album. I mean, I already knew that these guys are whack, that's obvious. Will it sell? I don't know, and personally I don't give a damn. I'm just here to tell you why you should or shouldn't buy it, and give you the right reasons.
Track List & Rating
1. Future Of The Roc (2 Stars)
2. Roc U f/ Beanie Sigel (1 Star)
3. No Better Love f/ Rell (2 Stars)
4. Friday Night (0 Stars)
5. Girlz f/ Juelz Santana (0 Stars)
6. Never Take Me Alive f/ Jay-Z (0 Stars)
7. Tough Luv (1 1/2 Star)
8. Grown Man (0 Stars)
9. North Of Death (2 1/2 Stars)
10. Look In Your Eyes f/ Cam'Ron (1 Star)
11. Take It How U Want It f/ Sparks (0 Stars)
12. That's Right (0 Stars)
13. Parade f/ Freeway (0 Stars)
14. Time (0 Stars)
15. Life We Chose f/ Denim (1 Star)
16. Problemz (0 Stars)
17. Can't Stop, Won't Stop Remix f/ Chingy (-1000000 Stars)
Before we get to the actual album Tough Luv, allow me to point out exactly what is wrong with the Young Gunz. The Young Gunz have a syndrome where they come out to be unbelievably BOOOOORING regardless of where they spit. Besides the fact that their lyrics are monotonous, with mono-syllablistic lines, simplistic rhymes, and absolutely no creativity, when they actually spit they have virtually no energy and just sound unbelievably uninspired. As I have said before, sometimes an effective mic presence can save you from having mediocre lyrics, but they don't even have that. Clever metaphors? Nope. Dope Similes? "What's a Simile?"... forget it. Most commercial rappers typically rely on their punchlines to surpass this problem. Young Gunz don't HAVE any punchlines at all. This leads all to one of the most boring listening experiences I have ever had the displeasure of listening to.
The album opens with "Future of the Roc" and indeed its quite a "bleek" future for Tha Roc, pun intended. The song is one of those "I'm out of tha hood into your radio" type of joints where they're all happy about being signed and released. Both of these guys rap about basically nothing. I guess it's braggadiocio but I'm really not sure since they jump from one thing to the other in a very boring fashion. The song manages to get 2 stars for it's nice use of powerful violins and bongo drums on the beat, which would've ordinarily been perfectly fitting for a dope emcee, but actually sounds worse thanks to the awful lyrics and "fake" aggressiveness of the Young Gunz. Bad start indeed, but it gets worse.
Of course, a commercial album wouldn't be complete without a song "for the ladies". "No Better Love" is the obligatory hit-single, and manages to be about as fake as they come. Chris and Neef go on to do a 4 minute song about how they grew up thinking "cupid was stupid" until they found the right girl. Of course, this is the definition of soft-thug music at its finest. It's more than just obvious that they don't feel this at all and are simply making a song like this to sell. I mean, just listen to the uninspired and dull delivery and rhymes from Young Gunz and you'll know just how terrible it is. R&B prodigy Rell drops the chorus and does a pretty good job, but after hearing the chorus more than once it WILL get on your nerves. It's just very annoying. The whole song is annoying and only gets a 2 star rating for its varied subject matter and listenable beat. I would rather chew glass than listen to another minute of this.
"Friday Night" is about as terrible as it gets. Overrated producer Jus Blaze drops the old-school-wannabe beat here for one of the most cliche commercial joints ive ever heard. This joint is so unbelievably boring that I simply cannot describe. First of all the beat. Jus Blaze is WHACK. He gets lucky when he makes a beat for Jay, but for Young Gunz, it just doesn't work. The beat features some steel drums and scratching for, as I said, a wanna-be old school sound which still sounds unbelievably commercial. But its not the beat that kills me. It's the unbelievably terrible lyrics and awful delivery. These guys have NO talent... seriously. Their delivery does absolutely nothing but to put me to sleep, as well as the chorus. They're just rapping about a bunch of stupid bragging crap about guns and how good they are, and they switch topics so much and rap SOOO unbelievably uninspired that it seriously puts me to sleep. Words cannot describe just how uninspired and boring it is. It's like you KNOW they are just reading their stupid, crap lyrics off a piece of paper and aren't bringing any energy whatsoever. It's almost as if they just wrote a bunch of crap and are pseudo-singing it. For you hip-hop buffs that don't know, that's called a "lack of microphone presence or charisma". It's awful... god awful.
I would rather have a pair of Rosie O Donnel's panties surgically implanted on my mouth than listen to this again...
The next song that actually isn't unlistenable would probably have to be "North of Death". Why? Simple. Because of the beat. It's melodic use of pianos is something that I wish mainstream acts would use in their beats more often, and the track itself would appear to be subject matter oriented just by listening to the first 40 seconds or so. In fact, it sort of is too. The song finds the Young Gunz using actual introspection about the lives of the ghetto and they're ambitions to lead regular lives and surpass their problems. Honestly, the song has the makings of a dope joint, but doesn't make it. This joint suffers from the boring lyricism and lack of microphone charisma that plagues the rest of the album. Besides that, it suffers from the terrible Rocafella lyricism that REALLY irks me because it seems like every freakin artist signed to this insipid label does it: "Unloading its something in my way, there's something in my way, They'll never take me alive I got something on the way". WOW. Let's rhyme "way" and "way". Sound familiar? It is easily the best song on the album, but when the best song is 2.5 stars... it's not a good sign.
All of the instantly recognizable, albeit extremely whack, members of Rocafella drop guest appearances here. Notice... there is no Kanye West, ODB, or M.O.P. Nope, instead we've got the ones which are guaranteed commercial. The youngest member of Tha Roc, Dipset member Juelz Santana drops a verse with the Young Gunz on "Girlz". The song is god-awful, but the beat would've been good if it were rapped over by someone like Jay or Kanye. The lyrics are so bad that it lowers the song to 0 Stars... thats just how bad it is. Rocafella leader Jay-Z drops uninspired, Hova dribble on "Never Take Me Alive", which has a tight title but is a terrible song. Bragging? A huh? Watered down lyrics? Oh Yes. Simple rhymes? You got it. Cam'Ron drops a forgettable guest spot on "Look in Your Eyes". Once again, awful subject matter (another psuedo-love hip-pop song), but a cool title. The beat tries too hard to be soulful and falls flat on it's face. "Parade" features one of the most worthless human beings ever in Freeway. Umm let's see, what could this be? Ahh, of course, another club song. I mean, wow, how much more terrible can you possibly get than this? This is unlistenable, and it proves just how talentless Jay-Z's label is. Don't believe the hype... the Roc sucks.
I would rather stick my penis under a moving train than hear this anymore than I have.
The final song on the album is supremely the worst song on this entire CD. "Can't Stop, Won't Stop Remix" is a runner-up for worst song in history. I hated the original, and the remix adds Satan's messenger himself Chingy to the lineup. No Charisma... none. You can tell just by the start of the song and the chorus that this song is going nowhere. The beat is the same as in the first version, with it's unbelievably whack use of tapping "clubbish" drums. I honestly can't believe this song was a single. The beat is so boring and un-overproduced that I'm surprised these mainstream idiots don't fall asleep listening to it. The lyrics are awful, and as expected, Chingy proves once again why he is the ebola virus of hip-hop: "Maybe chickenhead with it, I'm in the authentic get it boy Jersey, G.I.B hat fitted, Run and tell the world we did it (did what?), Copped the boxed up Benz, Range, and got both of 'em kitted ". WOW... that's all I have to say.
The Young Gunz debut Tough Luv was "tough" TO "love", pun intended. The beats are honestly terrible with the exception of maybe 2 or 3 and the lyrics are some of the most uninspired and boring pieces of dribble ever crafted. Young Chris and Neef are two people who SHOULD NOT be rapping or ever come close to a microphone. This album is so plagued with worthless moments and filler that I honestly feel as if I have wasted my time in listening to it. I'll leave you with probably the most uninspired and uncreative bars ever spat from the mouth of a human being. Try not to laugh too hard though, as I did:
I got my baby girl, plus she about to drop, my baby girl
Forget about all the rumors you hear girl
A newer life soon to be here girl
And can't nothin' fuck up that, Got to fuck with that
Can't find a better love than that... my baby girl
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